The Best 40 Presence Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Presence jokes. There are some presence actively jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these presence sacred puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Presence Jokes and Puns
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
Bait and switch comparison
Whats the difference between The Lord of the Rings and the Bible? One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits.
Whats the difference between The Lland the Bible? .
One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits
What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?
Presence.
Hey guys. What's the most reassuring thing about the Riot Police presence in Hong Kong right now?
*Their guns are probably made in China.*
yuk yuk yuk
Christmas with the family
While I greatly enjoy the presence of their company, I prefer the company of their presents.
One comedian on Britain's got talent brought on wrapped boxes. He said he wanted to have on stage presence.
What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas?
Presence
I met a Japanese mathematician yesterday
Japanese Mathematician: "Acknowledge my presence, zero"
Me: "Can you elaborate in mathematical terms?"
Japanese Mathematician: "Notice me sin(pi)"
A man with a phobia of old men files a complaint about Santa...
He didn't like his Christmas presence...
If you're sad & lonely
If you're sad, lonely & home alone always watch good horror movie & you will feel someone's presence with you.
You can explore presence darth reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presence stage dad jokes. There are also presence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the difference between a priest and acne?
A priest is a holy man educated and trained in the Christian faith. Acne is the presence of facial lesions caused by bacteria and a hormone imbalance.
A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent...
In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.
In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room.
What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for world yoga day?
I wish no gifts, only presence
Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.
Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."
A Mexican gentleman attends my synagogue.
Whenever we need a quorum for prayers services we can always rely on his presence. He really is Juan in a minyan!
One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or get out of the pond naked". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Why was the ghost not invited to the Christmas party?!
Because he had no presence!
A soldier on sentry duty fell asleep while standing up,
And woke to find his commanding officer standing in front of him, looking furious. With great presence of mind, the soldier said, "amen"
A poem for my beloved GDPR
'Twas the night before GDPR,
And all through the house
Any presence of rodents or motion of any creatures at all will not be disclosed without specific informed consent.
The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere
Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.
(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)
Merry 4th of July! The difference between Uncle Sam and Santa Claus is...
Santa Claus gives notes with his presents... Uncle Sam takes note of your presence.
Why Are Young Ladies Like Arrows?
Because they are all aquiver in the presence of a beau.
How did Vader know what he was getting for Father's day?
He felt Luke's presence.
Women are like police
In their presence you keep your hands where they can see 'em
Hey I didn't receive any presents for my birthday!
How could you forget about my presence?
What does every Led Zeppelin fan want for Christmas?
Presence
Why don't monks celebrate christmas?
Because they always have presence.
TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.
He has no moth and he must scream.
Little Johnny is in Catholic School
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
What is the difference between intentionally and by mistake?
The presence of a witness.
Did they find oil in Waschington, D.C.?
There is no other explanation for such a presence of the U.S military
What did the Buddhist want for his birthday?
Presence
What do young ladies have in common with arrows?
They are all aquiver in the presence of a beau.
What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?
An influenzer.
My abs are like ghost
I can feel their presence but cannot see them
What's the best gift a parent can give their child?
Presence
A drunk walks into a church...
...during mass and sits down. The priest is bothered by his presence and says to everybody:
\-The drink is a terrible vice, so much so that a drunk man will never reach salvation. If any of you is inebriated, I ask you to stand up.
The drunk man does, looks around to everybody sitted and says:
\-Whelp, I guess it's just the two of us, father.
Why was the ghost sad on Christmas Day?
Because he had no presence.
...sorry
How did Darth Vader know what Luke bought him for Christmas?
He felt his ...presence
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the presence participation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working presence disciple piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.