Prescribe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Prescribe jokes. There are some prescribe severe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prescribe suppositories puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Prescribe Jokes

I was at the doctors office the other day...

So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some a**...'s got my pen."

I've been prescribed anti gloating cream...

Can't wait to rub it in.

A man comes to a doctor and says...

— Help me, please, I can't fall asleep. Every time I go to bed there are a million thoughts in my head...

— I see, — replies the doctor, — I'll prescribe you a laxative.

— Will it help me fall asleep?

— Probably not but there sure will be only one thought on your mind.

A man sees his doctor for his f**... problems.

I've been f**... a lot lately, doc, says the man. I've actually f**... ten times since I've been in here. But they don't make any noise and they don't smell. Can you help me?

The doctor says, I think I see the problem. I'm going to prescribe you some medicine that should help you. Take it and then come back and see me next week.

One week later, the man returns to the doctor's office. What did that medicine do to me, doc?! My farts smell horrible now!

The doctor says, Well, it looks like that medicine cleaned up your sinuses. Now let's get you a hearing aid.

A pharmacist comes back from his lunch break

He finds his assistant standing by a customer who seems very tense.
What's wrong with this man? The pharmacist asks his assistant.
He has a terrible cough! The assistant replied. And there was no cough medicine so I prescribed him laxatives instead.

The customer gives a soft groan as the pharmacist looks horrified.

You can't prescribe laxatives to treat a cough!

Well of course you can, replied the assistant. Look at the customer, he's far too scared to cough

"I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition," my doctor said.

"Woah, woah, woah, doc," I replied. "Let's not make any rash decisions."

Problem Child

Psychiatrist to the mother of a problem child:
"You are far too upset and worried about your son. I'm going to prescribe some tranquilizers for you. I suggest you take them regularly."
On the next visit: "So, have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes, they have."
"And how is your son now?"
"Who cares?!?"

Prescribe joke, Problem Child

Why did Dr. Pepper prescribe himself Prozac after being recycled?

Because he was soda pressed

A woman goes to the doctor and says, Could you please prescribe me something against my headaches?

OK, says the doctor, take this and come back in two weeks.

After two weeks, the lady is back and complains, I'm sorry doctor. I've been using this for the past two weeks, I followed the instructions on the package, but nothing happened.

The doctor is concerned, That's unusual Mrs Grimky, what were the instructions exactly?

Well, keep the lid tightly s**... on at all times.

You know why doctors often prescribe illutation to older persons ?

So they get a foretaste of the earth.

What did the doctor prescribe for the chronic addict?

w**... everyday

You can explore prescribe physician reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prescribe pharmacy dad jokes. There are also prescribe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why didn't the doctor prescribe lisinopril for Snoopy's high blood pressure?

Ace inhibitors are contraindicated in Sopwith pilots.

What did the therapist youtuber say to the pharmacist?

"Remember to like, comment, and prescribe"

What cold medicine does the starbucks-addicted doctor prescribe to his patience?


What did a doctor prescribe to the depressed lesbian??


Why did the doctor prescribe formic acid for a patient with heartburn?

Because it's an ant-acid.

Prescribe joke, Why did the doctor prescribe formic acid for a patient with heartburn?

What does a vet prescribe a pig with a rash?


i was at the doctor's the other day....

i was sitting in the room when the doctor returned and said "i have to prescribe you a suppository". well i got up and right in his face and said "i'm not taking this sitting down!"

I got prescribed an antifungal...

... and now my girlfriend won't come near me.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prescribe pharmacist puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working prescribe symptoms piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes