Prescribe Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I was at the doctors office the other day...

So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."

A man comes to a doctor and says...

β€” Help me, please, I can't fall asleep. Every time I go to bed there are a million thoughts in my head...

β€” I see, β€” replies the doctor, β€” I'll prescribe you a laxative.

β€” Will it help me fall asleep?

β€” Probably not but there sure will be only one thought on your mind.

"I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition," my doctor said.

"Woah, woah, woah, doc," I replied. "Let's not make any rash decisions."

Problem Child

Psychiatrist to the mother of a problem child:
"You are far too upset and worried about your son. I'm going to prescribe some tranquilizers for you. I suggest you take them regularly."
On the next visit: "So, have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes, they have."
"And how is your son now?"
"Who cares?!?"

Why did Dr. Pepper prescribe himself Prozac after being recycled?

Because he was soda pressed

My doctor told me, "I'd like to prescribe a topical ointment to take care of that skin condition."

"Hold on, now, doc," I said. "Let's not make any rash decisions."

What did the doctor prescribe for the chronic addict?

weed everyday

You know why doctors often prescribe illutation to older persons ?

So they get a foretaste of the earth.

I got prescribed an antifungal...

... and now my girlfriend won't come near me.

i was at the doctor's the other day....

i was sitting in the room when the doctor returned and said "i have to prescribe you a suppository". well i got up and right in his face and said "i'm not taking this sitting down!"

What are the funniest prescribe jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Prescribe? Well, here are the best Prescribe puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Prescribe pick up lines to share with friends.

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