The Best 39 Pregnant Blondes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pregnant Blondes jokes. There are some pregnant blondes maternity jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pregnant blondes miscarriage puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pregnant Blondes Jokes and Puns

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, "Honey that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" She nods her head and says, "Well, I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both came out positive!"

A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor.



"Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."

The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"

She says, "Because it's started missing its period."

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?

A: She went looking for the three guys.

Pregnant Blondes joke

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead...

Were sitting in the waiting room at the OB-GYN. Each of them were pregnant and having a chat.
"I'm going to have a boy cause I was on top" the brunette said. "Ah well then I'm going to have a girl cause I was on bottom" the redhead replied. The blonde thought for a moment, then started to cry. The other two looked at her concerned and the brunette asked "What's wrong honey?" Then the blonde replied through her sobs "I'm going to have puppies!"

a pregnant woman and a blonde woman...

are talking, and the pregnant woman says that she is pregnant with twins. So the blonde woman asks, "Oh my gosh! You cheated on your husband?? Who's the second father?"


Did you hear about the blond who got pregnant?

She wasn't sure if the baby was hers!

What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant?

"Is it mine"?

Pregnant Blondes joke, What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant?

A blonde goes to her gynecologist...



A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can't get pregnant.

The doctor says, OK, take off your clothes and lay down on the table.

The blonde says, Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband's baby.

So an old man marries a 20 year old blonde...

and she gets pregnant. So he goes to the doctor. The doctor proceeds to tell him a tale:
"Once a boy went to the woods alone with an umbrella. He encounters a tiger in the woods. The boy points the umbrella at the tiger and the tiger drops dead immediately." The old man interrupts "Somebody else must have shot her!". "Exactly what I want to tell you" says the doctor.

What did the pregnant blonde ask at the doctor's office?

...Is it mine?

My dad's go to joke...

So there's a blonde, a brunette, and a red head who are all pregnant. A man walks up to the brunette and asks what gender she is having. She replies saying "well I was on top so I'm having a boy!' He then asks the red head what gender her baby is and she replies "well I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!' He then asks the blonde what she is having and she says 'Oh my god! I must be having puppies!'

You can explore pregnant blondes woman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pregnant blondes preg dad jokes. There are also pregnant blondes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the sex of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."

The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."

Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.

"I'm going to have puppies!"

so many poor jokes, where to begin?

A brunette, a blonde and a redhead, all heavily pregnant, are waiting for a scan; the brunette says 'I was on top, so I'm going to have a bay', the redhead responds with 'I was on the bottom, so I'm going to have a girl', at which point the blonde bursts into tears. The other two manage to calm her down, and ask what is wrong? 'I'm going to have puppies!'

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant

A blonde goes to the doctor

...and finds out she is pregnant with twins.

She starts crying, and the doctor asks her what's wrong.

She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor and find out that they are pregnant so they want to find out the sex of the baby. The brunette says, well I was on the bottom so I'm having a boy. The redhead says I was on top so I'm having a girl.

The Blonde starts crying and says, well I guess I'm having puppies?!

Pregnant Blondes joke, A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all pregnant, are in the waiting room for the OB/GYN....

The brunette says "I was on top, so I'm gonna have a boy."

The redhead says "I was on the bottom, so I'm gonna have a girl."

The blonde bursts into tears and says, "I'm gonna have puppies!"

A 16 year old blonde is dinning with her parents

Blonde: Oh by the way IΒ΄m pregnant

Parents (simultaneously): YouΒ΄re WHAT!?!

Blonde: Geez relax and eat a chill pill, IΒ΄m not even sure itΒ΄s mine

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are each pregnant and at the doctor's office...

While sitting in the waiting area, they begin chatting.

The brunette says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!"
The redhead says "I was on top so I'm having a boy!"
The blonde starts crying hysterically.
The brunette and redhead ask her what's wrong.
The blonde says "I'm going to have a puppy!"


Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.

Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during sex.

Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during sex so I'm having a girl.

Blonde: Oh my God! I'm going to have puppies!!!

Blonde joke (short)

A blonde tells her husband she thinks she's pregnant and sends him off to the store to buy a pregnancy test. As he's leaving she says buy two in case it's twins.

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"

3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".

The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".

Doctor to blonde "You are pregnant"

Blonde "Gosh, I hope it's not mine"

A blonde lady goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I think I might be pregnant...'

The doctor says, 'Have you had a check up recently?'
She replies, 'No. I think he might've been German.'

A blonde went to the doctor for birth control...

The doctor asked the customary question, "Are you sexually active?" The blonde responded, "Nope." So the doctor asked, "Well, what do you need birth control for? Heavy period?" The blonde responded, "No, I don't want to get pregnant!"

Puzzled, the doctor clarified, "I thought you said you weren't sexually active?" The blonde responded, "I'm not. I just lie there."

What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?

I hope it's not mine

A blonde woman is at the doctor's office

Blonde: I can't pregnant!

Doctor: Okay, how often do you and your boyfriend have sex?

Blonde: Every night!

Doctor: Do you use any sort of protection?

Blonde: No. And I even swallow every time.

Blonde Joke

Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby's gender came up.

Brunette: My baby's going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top.

Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom.

Blonde (bursting into tears): "My baby's going to be a puppy."

Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?

She blew both of them

How did the blonde get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to do an ese.

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

Condom holes

I'm starting to suspect my blonde girlfriend wants to become pregnant. She keeps poking holes in my condoms before we have sex. I just wish she would do it before I put it on.

Three pregnant women: a brunette, a redhead and a blonde are sitting in a bar.

The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."

The redhead asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I conceived, so I will have a baby boy".

The redhead said, "If the logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was at the bottom when I concieved.

The blonde starts crying, orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all sitting in the waiting room waiting to see their OB/GYN.

The brunette turns to the group and says, I'm pregnant and I'm having a boy . The redhead asked her how she knows and the brunette tells her, I was on top when we conceived .

The redhead then says, well in that case I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom .

The blonde jumps up and starts screaming, Oh God, I'm going to have puppies!

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!

3 pregnant ladies in a coffee shop

So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are sitting in a coffee shop talking about their pregnancies.

The brunette says to the other 2 that I heard if you have sex on top, your more likely to have a boy

The redhead say oh that must mean I'm likely to have a girl

There was a pause and then the blonde say Uh Oh imma be having puppies!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were in a doctors office and they were all pregnant..

The brunette says, " I know I'm having a boy because I was on the bottom."
The redhead says "Then I must be having a girl because I was on the top!"
The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably and the two other girls start comforting her asking what's wrong...
The blonde looks at them through her teary eyes and exclaims "I'm having puppies!!"

What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?

Gifted.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pregnant blondes childbirth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pregnant blondes brunette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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