Pregnant Belly Jokes
10 pregnant belly jokes and hilarious pregnant belly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pregnant belly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Pregnant Belly Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good pregnant belly joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A little boy goes up to his pregnant mum, points at her fat belly and says, what's that?
She says… (a bit startled…) erm… that's a baby your daddy gave me that…
So the little boy walks off to find his dad with a confused look on his face…
daddy did you give mummy a baby ?
yeh I did son, that's right why do you ask…?
well don't give her another, she ate the last one!
Don't Eat Too Many Lollipops
A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"
I know what you did
A little kid is often picking his nose. His mother tells him: "Honey, don't do this". The little kid asks "why?". The mother wants to think of some excuse so she says: "because... when you do it, then when you grow up, you will be fat like our neighbour next door."
After some time the little kid is in a subway train and spots a pregnant woman there. He starts to wink and point to her belly.
"Why do you do that?" asks the woman.
The little kid winks again: "I know what you did."
Little Johnny was sitting on the curb
Shaking a bottle of turpentine. The local priest walking by, stopped and asked what he had in the bottle. Johnny said, this is the most powerful liquid in the world, turpentine. The priest said, the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water. A couple drops on a pregnant woman's belly, and she will pass a baby boy . Johnny said, That's nothing! A couple drops of this turpentine on a cat's a**..., it will pass a motorcycle.
What do you call a pregnant woman with a transparent belly?
A w**... with a view.
Two pregnant women on a bench were talking to each other.
They saw a fat guy with a big belly. On seeing the fat guy, one said, " I will give birth to a handsome boy." On this the other said, " I will give birth to you a beautiful girl."
With intention to make fun of the guy , they asked the fat guy, "What are you gonna give birth to?"
He said I am gonna give birth to a young elephant and drops his pants.
" See, the trunk's coming out".
A preacher and a young boy were sitting at a bus stop.
The boy had a bottle of clear liquid and he kept shaking it up, looking at the bubbles. The preacher asked the youngster what he had in the bottle. "Preacher man, this here is the strongest liquid known to mankind, Turpentine!"
The preacher reaching into his vest pocket, "Young man, I beg to differ! This here is holy water! You put some of this on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a baby boy!". The boy replied, "Heck preacher, that ain't nothing! You put some of this on a cats a**..., it will pass a motorcycle!"
What happened to the dog?
A woman pregnant with triplets was a victim in a robbery, and was shot 3 times in the belly. She went to the doctor and he said although the bullets reached the triplets, it wasn't in a critical zone, and eventually the bullets would come out their bodies. 2 healthy girls and a boy were born.
After 12 years, one of the girls was peeing, when she peed the bullet.
- "Mommy, some metal thing just came out of me" - she said.
So, mom explained to her what had happened when she was pregnant.
A week after that, the other girl was peeing, the same thing happened, and the mom explained it again.
After another week, the boy was in the bathroom and calls his mom.
- "Mom, you won't believe what just happened!" - he screamed.
- "It's OK son, you just peed some metal thing, wasn't it?" - she replied.
- "What? No! I was m**... here in the bathroom when suddenly our dog died".
A woman pregnant with triplets gets shot
A 9 month pregnant woman with triplets is waiting in line at the bank when robbers run in and start firing shots. The woman gets shot in the belly 3 times and is taken to the hospital. After the surgery the nurse tells the woman that she will be fine and that her babies are fine too, however, this is an unusual situation where the bullets are in each of her babies and after some years the bullets will come out.
Ten years later, one of her daughters comes crying to her. She asks, "whats wrong sweety?" "Mommy, I was peeing and a bullet came out," replied the daughter. The woman remembers what the nurse had told her years ago so she tells her daughter, "Its okay Christy. It happens."
A couple weeks later, her second daughter comes crying to her. She asks, "whats wrong sweety?" "Mommy, I was peeing and a bullet came out," she says. The woman again calms down her daugher, "Its okay Jenny. It happens."
A couple weeks later, her son comes crying to her. She asks, "what is it Johnny? Did you pee and a bullet came out?" Johnny says, "no. I was jacking off and I shot the dog!"
One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant.
When I returned home I saw her father closing the door.
I told him: "Your daughter hasn't married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant?
For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery."
Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms.
Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him: "I saw your daughter with her f**... in her arms."
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