The Best 24 Pregnancies Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pregnancies jokes. There are some pregnancies breakouts jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pregnancies incesticide puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pregnancies Jokes and Puns

A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

Have you tried condoms? Asks the Dr.

I did, and it resulted in 3 kids! said the man.

Have you tried birth control?

I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!

Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!

Confounded, the Dr. says bluntly, well, have you tried not sleeping with your wife?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!!

What's the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won't be seeing a period for a little while.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!

Pregnancies joke, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregn

Three blonde women are talking about their pregnancies

The first one says: "Whenever we have sex, my husband is always on top. So that means I'm having a baby boy."

The second one says: "That means I'm having a baby girl because I'm always the one on top."

Suddenly the third blonde starts crying hysterically and exclaims: "I'm having puppies!"

So I heard they're being stricter with teen pregnancies.

Apparently people have problems with the child labor.


3 pregnant ladies in a coffee shop

So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are sitting in a coffee shop talking about their pregnancies.

The brunette says to the other 2 that I heard if you have sex on top, your more likely to have a boy

The redhead say oh that must mean I'm likely to have a girl

There was a pause and then the blonde say Uh Oh imma be having puppies!

The Greek learned you could avoid pregnancies by using sheep intestines.

The English later learned it also works if you remove it from the sheep first.

Pregnancies joke, The Greek learned you could avoid pregnancies by using sheep intestines.

Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies...

I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)

What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?

Both can be fixed with a coathanger.

Twins are the BOGO of pregnancies

Buy one get one free

You can explore pregnancies maternity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pregnancies puberty dad jokes. There are also pregnancies puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why aren't vampires afraid of accidental pregnancies?

Because they can only come inside when invited.

Fewer US schools are selling candy, soda and chips to students

After all, that stuff is horrible for pregnancies!

How are pregnancies similar to jokes?

If you don't precisely execute them their delivery will most certainly be awful.

I thought the mustard would prevent pregnancies...

...but the condiment nothing!

3 pregnant woman....

Three pregnant women are sitting around a table discussing their pregnancies. The first one says, "I eat so many dills, my baby is gonna love pickles."

The second woman says, "My baby is gonna love cheese, I eat swiss by the block!"

The first two mothers stare at the third waiting for her say what her baby will love. After a long pause she says, "I guess I'm going to have a gay son."

Pregnancies joke, 3 pregnant woman....

In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on

...before anyone knows how to use the colon.

How do you prevent teenage pregnancies?

Make acne medication illegal.

How are car parks like unplanned pregnancies

Accidents happen when people don't pull out carefully.


Why aren't there any teen pregnancies at Hogwarts?

*waves wand*

Fetus deletus

How do the Amish avoid unwanted pregnancies?

If it were truly the thought that counted...

...there would be a lot more unwanted pregnancies!

How can women help prevent more unwanted pregnancies?

By using their head!

My girlfriend told me peeing after sex prevents pregnancies...

I don't know what I did wrong. I peed as hard as I could right after sex and she still got pregnant.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pregnancies uti jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pregnancies pregnancy q a piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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