Prefer Jokes
151 prefer jokes and hilarious prefer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prefer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking to find out if you prefer jokes? Read this article to learn why the kind of jokes you choose can make a difference. Discover which jokes are seen as more appropriate for women, and find out why treading lightly is often necessary when making jokes.
Funniest Prefer Short Jokes
Short prefer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prefer humour may include short would rather jokes also.
- I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
- Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries? Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.
- A man and a woman are lying in bed late night... ...and the woman asks her man: "Honey, do you prefer smart or pretty women?" and the man responds calmly: "Neither, baby, I prefer you."
- I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking." Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."
- I got fired from my job because I kept asking the customers if they prefer smoking or nonsmoking. Apparently the correct terms are "Cremation" and "Burial".
- Person 1 says: I like Eminem Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper? - What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval. - You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'. - Since you like Dad jokes. Here's one I laid on my wife while she was folding my infant daughters clothes. Wife: Could you go and grab the baby hangers?
Me: They prefer to be called executioners. - Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy? They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.
Share These Prefer Jokes With Friends
Prefer One Liners
Which prefer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prefer? I can suggest the ones about choose and alternative.
- Why doesn't michael jackson drink coffee? Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"
- What is the preferred pizza for epileptic midgets? Little Seizures.
(I am so sorry) - My friend handed me a peach. I told him I prefer pears. So he handed me another one.
- I got a sweater on my birthday I would have preferred a moaner or screamer.
- Do you know why programers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her, She
- Why does a programmer prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs
- How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light.
- Which sith lord prefers to cripple his opponents rather than kill them? Darth Ritis
- TIL the term "cannibal" is offensive. They prefer to be called "humanitarians."
- I like my women like I like my dog. Actually, No. I prefer the dog.
- Why don't mathematicians have degrees? They prefer radians.
- Why don't Japanese cannibals cook their food? Because they prefer ramen.
- Slavery is such an ugly word... I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.
- Why does Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? You only get one shot…
Do You Prefer Jokes
Here is a list of funny do you prefer jokes and even better do you prefer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My Mother lived to be 98 years old, and SHE never needed glasses.. She preferred to drink straight from the bottle.
- You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water? In Flint, the waiter asks you, "Regular or Unleaded?"
- What flavor gum does the President prefer? Governmint
Ill walk myself to the nearest border - At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
- Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones? Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.
- Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum." They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
- If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan... Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat.
- The woman asks her husband: "Do you prefer a beautiful woman or an intelligent woman?" The husband replies: "None of them, you know I only like you!".
- Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
Man 1: ok, step stool it is. - A girl once said about me "He's the one!" Granted I would have preferred she didn't say it in a police lineup. But you have to take what you get.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Prefer Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about prefer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prevent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prefer pranks.
One day after s**..., my girl told me she used to be a Christian.
Me: "It doesn't worry me at all, babe."
Her: "Awesome! I really so much prefer being a Christine."
I don't like the term a**... Bleaching'.
I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, but do you thell baby bunnieth?".
The pet store owner smiles and says, "Why, yes, sweetheart! We sell all kinds of baby bunnies. Now... what kind of baby bunny would you like? Would you like a baby grey bunny? Or a baby white bunny? Or would you prefer a pretty brown bunny?"
The little girl replies, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the c**...?
Because it's waaay easier to s**...
Why does the Pakistani prefer the toilet over making love to his wife ?
The hole is tighter, and the smell is better.
Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar
.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
The Irishman swore every word was true.
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.
"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?
They prefer cash.
When I'm having s**... with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…
I just love the feeling of being in cider.
What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer?
...mainly SMALL ARMS.
Most serial killers are men.
That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years.
Irish pubs are the best
As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times
Today I was asked, "What is something you prefer from a s**... partner, but could go without?"
"Consent"
Why do l**... prefer going to Sports Authority?
They don't like d**......
Does size matter?
Some women say size doesn't matter.
Some even say that they prefer smaller ones. I think that they're just shallow.
Why are there so many tree-lined roads in France?
Because German soldiers prefer to march in the shade.
Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs?
So they can get a long little d**....
I have to say, I prefer audio books to written books
I don't know why. I guess they just really speak to me.
Which do Catholic priests like better—apples or cherries?
Neither—they prefer boysenberries.
So I had s**... with a c**... for the first time
It was good. But I still prefer doing it with girls.
I'm currently a recovering alcoholic...
But I prefer the term "hungover."
My dog can speak English.
My dog can speak English.
When I ask him how his day was, he says "rough!"
When I ask him what sandpaper feels like he says "rough!"
When I ask him where my golf ball went he says "rough!"
And when I ask him how aggressively he likes to play he says "I prefer to minimize the chance of injury"
How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women?
Shaven, not furred
[OC] Girls who prefer "dad bods"...
Just want father figures in their lives.
Three Doctors
Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They're gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''
What type of skiing do Jews prefer?
Shlalom
Why do men prefer white women?
They want the dishwasher to match with their fridge
Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?
Because they're meteor
Man asks blonde for coffee without cream.
Blonde replies: "We're out of cream. Would you prefer coffee without milk instead?"
Why Don't Jews Like Ions?
They prefer their molecules free of charge.
Why don't l**... cook?
They prefer to eat out.
The wike asks his husband: Honey, what do you prefer? A beautiful woman or an intelligent woman?
Neither one, you know I just like you
Why do Asians prefer Sony?
Because it's a stereo type
You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male
They have a higher rate of p**......
How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark.
The wife asks her husband
-What do you prefer, honey? A smart woman or a beautiful woman?
-Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you
What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?
Exspearamint.
inspired by the presidential gum joke.
A guy wakes up to a woman next to him in bed
and she was already awake. She says to him "I have a confession to make, I was once a Christian"
The guy, still half-asleep says, "oh that's okay babe, I've never really been one to care."
"Oh good" she replies, "I much prefer being a Christine anyways."
I don't think it's correct to call them grammar n**... anymore...
They seem to prefer the label "alt-write" nowadays.
For Christmas last year I got a sweater.
This year I'd prefer a moaner or a squirter.
The term 'Grammar n**...' is outdated and offensive...
...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful"
Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
.
.
.
.
Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."
What is the preferred sandwich of the working class? [OC]
A plebian-J.
My girlfriend tells me small p**... aren't a problem.
Still, I'd prefer she didn't have one at all..
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
My date asked if I prefer cats or dogs.
I replied, "I don't even see them on the menu. What page are you on?"
An older couple is getting married...
An older couple is getting married. The husband-to-be looks at his bride and asks, "What's your opinion on s**...?"
The bride says, "I prefer it infrequently."
The man replies, "Is infrequently one word or two?"
Why did the pirate prefer slightly above average students?
Because he always preferred the high C's
Kale.
I prefer mine with a silent "K"
I prefer "badass" to "hemorrhoids"
when I describe my condition
Why do men prefer guns over woman?
You can put a silencer on a gun.
What is the Pope's preferred method of payment?
Papal
I would prefer to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandma,
not screaming in t**... like her passengers.
Putin is sitting at his desk, waiting upon the results of the recent election
An election official walks in and announces himself.
"Mr. Putin, I have good news and bad news. Which would you prefer to hear first?"
"Let me hear the good news first", Putin says.
"Okay, good news is that you've won the election! Congratulations!"
"And the bad news?"
"Nobody voted for you."
The United States doesn't use t**... techniques such as water boarding
The prefer the term "tactical baptism"
They say kids are gifts...
But I prefer the box they come in.
Why do people with asthma prefer to be cremated when they die?
Because they hate coffin.
Why do aliens avoid having s**... in public?
They prefer to come in peace
So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"
The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."
"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."
What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer?
Dyson.
A girl and guy are laying in bed after s**...
She turns to him and says,
"Babe I need to tell you something, I used to be a Christian."
He said:
"That doesn't bother me any!"
She responded:
"That's a relief, I much prefer being a Christine."
An old grandma brings a bus driver
An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".
The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to s**... the chocolate around them."
Why did Pinocchio prefer wooden girls over the real thing?
Because the wooden girls are knotty!
What kind of restaurants do military snipers prefer?
Take out.
A study found that 97% of people prefer bananas with the skin on.
Without one, it just lacks appeal.