Predict Weather Jokes
17 predict weather jokes and hilarious predict weather puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about predict weather that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Predict Weather Short Jokes
Short predict weather jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The predict weather humour may include short weather prediction jokes also.
- What do you call an overweight kidney doctor who can also predict the weather? A meaty-urologist
- This weather forecast extinguished my hope for a good day. They predicted 20% showers... and 80% bathtubs.
- They're predicting record highs for Wednesday. In other news the weather will be hotter than usual.
- My wife didn't believe that my communist friend could predict the weather, but I said; "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
- No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris.
But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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Predict Weather One Liners
Which predict weather one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with predict weather? I can suggest the ones about weather forecast and weather report.
- What do you call a fat doctor who can predict the weather? A meaty urologist.
- My wife filed for divorce because I am a weather reporter. That was not what I predicted
Uplifting Predict Weather Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about predict weather you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weatherman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make predict weather pranks.
The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.
His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
Air force weatherman
So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our b**... runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."
What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?
A meaty urologist.
BONUS (courtesy of my girlfriend)
What do call someone who's available 24/7 and treats cancer?
An always oncologist.
A long way to go for a bad pun
In Russia in the early 1800's, there was a weather man named Rudolph. He was very good at his job, but he was particularly famous for predicting rain. One morning, it was bright and sunny outside, without a cloud in the sky. However, Rudolph predicted that there would be a huge rain storm, bigger than anyone had ever seen. People laughed and thought it was ridiculous, but sure enough, that night it rained more than anyone in Russia had ever seen. In only 3 hours, it rained over 10 inches! That morning, Rudolph's wife was astounded. "I can't believe you were right about this, honey!" she said, surprised. Rudolph just laughed and said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Weather Report...
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
The Native American Weatherman
A director is shooting a movie in a desert near an Indian reservation. One day, a native american comes up to him and says "Rain today."
The director doesn't pay much attention, but towards the middle of the day, it rains. The director is now impressed, and instantly hires the native american to predict weather for him.
The cycle continues until the director is about to shoot the most important scene of the film. He asks the native: "What's the weather like today?" He says "Don't know."
"What? What do you mean you don't know?"
"Radio broken."
How national weather service predicts weather.
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
Back in WWII, the Marine Corps used Navajo speakers as "code talkers"...
The other Marines were always impressed with the enigmatic skills the Navajos had in predicting weather, where to find water, and tracking ability.
One day on a patrol, a Navajo Marine on point came across a footprint ostensibly left by the enemy.
"The man who left this footprint is an Imperial soldier. He stands five-foot-six tall and weighs 120 pounds..."
The Navajo proceeded to recite a litany of information on the man who left the tracks.
Amazed, one of the others remarked: "You got all that from a footprint??"
"No. We got his license."