Predecessor Jokes

The curious monk

A monk in an ancient monastery is doing his daily work, transcribing and recopying the ancient scrolls and scriptures of his tradition that his predecessors wrote, which they copied from their ancestors texts and so on....
The curious monk begins to wonder if in the endless sequence of copying and recopying over the ages, something got misinterpreted or lost in translation: he goes to investigate the archives.
His friends don't hear from him for a few days. They finally find him in the archives, lying in a pool of scrolls and tears. "What's wrong?", they ask him. He cries: "It said CELEBRATE!!!"

Toll Joke my buddy made up.

A young new toll operator is having his first day on the job with a skilled veteran of the booth. As they work in their conjoined shift, the veteran points out a gold Mercedes pulling up in the toll line. The Veteran nudges the kid and says " Dat guy dere ain't gone pay his full toll. " the young new worker looks at his predecessor like he's crazy. As the car pulls up, the driver is furiously digging for change. "I am so sorry! All I have is 73 cents!" The driver exclaimed. The Veteran nods him through anyway and then turns to the incredulous newbie and says "Toll jew"

A new CEO starts his first day

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

What We Learn From the Movies:
It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
No one involved in a car chase, h**..., e**..., volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.