The Best 19 Precise Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Precise jokes. There are some precise teaspoon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these precise specific puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Precise Jokes and Puns

In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British

If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German

If they retreat, they're French

If they switch to your side, they're Italian

If they apologize, they're Canadian

If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

The dinosaur at the museum

A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.

Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:

- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?

- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.

Amazed by his answer, he says:

- Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?

- Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.

What do you call an asian marksman?

Precise Lee

Precise joke, What do you call an asian marksman?

My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....

Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.

I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle Jack off a horse as she was telling me that.

A museum tour guide points to a fossil "This fossil right here is sixty-eight million and three years old."

One of the visitors asks: "How can you be so precise?"

"I first started working here three years ago, and on my first day the head of the museum told me it was sixty-eight million years old."


According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.

But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.

I needed glasses to see my family.

Two glasses of scotch. To be precise.

Precise joke, I needed glasses to see my family.

Girl guides

I was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter who was
selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting
several homes, she commented on the different styles of
doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled.

We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like.

At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house,
the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look
of amazement on her face. "Now THAT'S a a door bell"

I work as a comedian in China, and the authorities are always vetting my material.

>!everythIng is Always Moderated wIthiN a Justified mAnner, precIse and Legitimate. !<

Unlike my other girlfriends, my new Thai girlfriend is really into me.

about four inches into me to be precise.

What do we want?

What do we want? to be precise!

When do we want it?! half past seven in the parking lot by the 7-11. Be there with a blue raspberry slurpie in hand wearing overalls.

You can explore precise predict reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean precise finns dad jokes. There are also precise puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My son was named after Nicholas II of Russia.

By about 100 years, to be more precise.

So far I haven't drunk alcohol once this year.

206 times, to be precise.

What do you call an Asian guy who's always precise?

Exact-Lee

I am like an electron....

My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function

Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction?

The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us

Precise joke, Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction?

There's some free space in the EU now..

1 GB, to be precise.

College professors around the world are protesting people using a precise word meaning exactly for emphasis, and throwing garbage at the floor.

It's called the litter-raly

If you say something wrong its best to just keep repeating it.

You may not be accurate, but at least you'll be precise.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the precise tonite jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working precise billion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes