The Best 27 Precious Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Precious jokes. There are some precious palestine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these precious pricey puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Precious Jokes and Puns

An apple

A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.

Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.

[Knee-slappin, terrible OC] Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister!

***
I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

Precious Father-Son Time

When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom...they were all just pictures of me.

Precious joke, Precious Father-Son Time

A couple are having trouble with their marriage...

Wife: We used to have something special Jon! Something rare and precious! What happened to that?


Husband: You spent it all dear.

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a toad walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the toad's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the toad. "Your name is written inside the cover."


I'd follow you to the ends of the earth...

... you're my precious.

Someone recently broke in to my nan's flat and stole her precious limbo trophy...

How low can you get?

Precious joke, Someone recently broke in to my nan's flat and stole her precious limbo trophy...

A boy loses his cellphone

A boy loses his precious cellphone and asks his dad if he had seen it anywhere. His dad asks the boy

"Why don't you call it?"

"I left it on silent"

"Well you know what they say"

"What?"

"If you like it then you should've put a ring on it"

Water is the most precious drink

Because without it we can't make coffee

The Lost Bible

One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Human-beings get rich as they grow old:

Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!

You can explore precious expensive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean precious possessions dad jokes. There are also precious puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the man who hid smuggled precious stones in his fleece sweater?

When the police found amber in his clothing, he was charged.

TIL that the government is selling military equipment for precious metals.

What could be more precious to a man than the love of his child?

Nuttin' :)

Life is precious

So be sure not to do anything with it

What's the difference between your girlfriend and your computer?

You can hit one if it stops working,
The other is your precious computer why would you hurt it?

Precious joke, What's the difference between your girlfriend and your computer?

A German tourist jumped in freezing water to save my precious little dog from drowning.

Today a strange stranger chased me for 10 miles. which made me think

whats so precious in her purse?

The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere

Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.

(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)


Did you hear that New Zealand is about to be officially renamed to Middle Earth?

The opposition is being way too precious about the situation.

Why are bibles for the blind so precious?

Because it's the Holy Braille

Scooby Doo may not care for most precious gems

But he does appreciate Velma's rubies.

How does a sex worker extract precious minerals from the Earth?

They strip mine.

Why does the travelling hobbit always carry his elven cloak?

When he goes to pee in the woods and he brings out his other *precious*, he still gets the feeling that there's someone eyeing him.

A Redditor accidentally trips and sets off an explosion in a precious metal mine. What's the first thing they say?

Holy crap this blew up!

Uhhh thanks for the gold stranger!

It's a miracle

A devout old shepherd lost his favorite Bible while he was out looking for a wayward lamb. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The shepherd couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, It's a miracle!

Not really, said the sheep. Your name is written inside the cover.

Husband: Do you love me?

Wife: Of course i love you, light of my life.

Husband: Would you love me even if i wronged you?

Wife: I will always love you, my darling.

Husband: But would you love me if i gambled away all our savings?

Wife: i would still love you, my precious husband.

Husband: what if i cheated on you, would you still love me?

Wife: of course. I will always love you, apple of my eye.

Husband: Ok. I forgot to turn on the dishwasher last night.

Wife: I HATE YOU, YOU LAZY, SELFISH IRRESPONSIBLE MORON!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the precious dearest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working precious jewel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes