Pre Start Jokes
7 pre start jokes and hilarious pre start puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pre start that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Pre Start Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good pre start joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A yoga instructor killed a student before class started
He's being charged with pre-meditation m**....
I'm starting the dishes, and my wife is getting ready to go watch 50 Shades of Grey
I guess you could say we are BOTH pre soaking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found seashells in my p**... when not being near a beach...
Should I start pre treatment for c**...?
How do the Enterprise crew pre-drink?
They start rekt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was preparing for his first solo flight over the wilds of Alaska.....
And during the pre-flight check, he pulled out the emergency kit and opened it. Inside he found just a single deck of cards and nothing else.
Turning to the old grizzled flying vet, he asks "Hey bud, sorry to seem concerned but why does the emergency kit only contain a deck of cards?"
The vet laugh heartily at the question. He answers "That's all you'll ever need here in the wild!"
Confused and growing concerned, the pilot asks "Don't....don't we need a gun, matches, fire starter, bullets and water to survive?"
The vet looks at him as replies "No man. If you ever c**..., just pull out the deck of cards and start playing solitaire. Eventually someone will show up and tell you that you're playing it wrong."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young nun at a convent
A young nun at a convent had one too many s**... indiscretions, and turned up pregnant. Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth.
And so it did, and upon the evening when the contractions started, she rushed down into the basement, hoping that no one would hear either her own moaning, or the cries of the newborn child.
After the birth, panic set in; she didn't know what she should do with the baby. If she were found with the child, she would be thrown out of the order, with no place for food or shelter. Knowing that the Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also having no other options, she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly crept into the sleeping Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left the baby, and silently exited the sleeping chambers.
At sunrise, the Mother Superior awakened, and heard the baby as it was just waking from a nap. She quickly looked over the side of her bed, at the child in the basket, fell back in her bed with a sorrowful look, and dejectedly sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust your own finger any more!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Instructions for cleaning the toilet
**Instructions for cleaning the toilet:**
1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.
2. Take the cat in your arms and s**... it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.
3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.
4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will produce generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying herself.
5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the Power-wash pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.
6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.
7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed she will be moving from the toilet to the front door.
8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.
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