The Best 26 Prayers Answered Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Prayers Answered jokes. There are some prayers answered asked jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prayers answered worshippers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Prayers Answered Jokes and Puns

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

2 parrots

A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!

Paddy the Irishman arrives at the Gates of Heaven...

...and is greeted by St. Peter. Peter says to Paddy "You may enter, Paddy, but first you must answer one question."

He then asks Paddy "What is the the name of thy Lord?"

Paddy replies "Harold."

"Harold?" asks St. Peter, "How did you arrive at that?"

"Oh, it's in the Lords Prayer... Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name".

Prayers Answered joke, Paddy the Irishman arrives at the Gates of Heaven...

What do you call it when a prayer is answered?

A coincidence.

A Jewish man goes to speak to his Rabbi...

He says, "Rabbi, you'll never guess what happened to me! My son converted to Christianity."

The Rabbi responds, "*You'll* never guess what happened to *me*! My son converted to Christianity too. Let's pray to God, maybe He'll have an answer for us."

After some prayers, God responds to them: "You'll never guess what happened to ME!"


EPA members turn to prayer

After successfully cutting ties to science, the EPA is now turning to prayer, seeking new answers to today's environmental issues

midterms and finals are like prayers to god.

i never get answers.

Prayers Answered joke, midterms and finals are like prayers to god.

God finally answer my prayers for winning the $15 million lottery.

The answer is no.

New Russian Government

For years the Russian people have been praying for a new government. Their prayers were answered, unfortunately for them tho, the new government is in the US.

Why god no longer answer prayers

Because people shout his name too often during private moments

a fly and his prayer

Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.

You can explore prayers answered mother reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prayers answered worship dad jokes. There are also prayers answered puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I've been living with extreme poverty and disfigurement for over 40 years, but today, God finally answered my prayers!

He said no.

God comes to my town...

...and asks the catholic priest: "do you need me to take care of anything?" The priest replies; "would you kill the protestant pastor?" Concerned God goes to the pastor and asks him the same question and the pastor answers; "would you kill the catholic priest?". Frustrated, God goes to the rabbi and asks him the same question. The rabbi says; "Lord, it would be enough for me if you answer the prayers of the priest and the pastor."

God answers prayers, trust me.

I prayed for a job, a car, and for lots of pretty girls. I now work as a bus driver in an all-girls school.

BREAKING NEWS: God Answers Prayers of Paralysed Young Boy

'No', Say's God.

Why doesn't God answer any prayers?

He's all no-ing

Prayers Answered joke, Why doesn't God answer any prayers?

What do you get when God stops answering your prayers?

The Holy ghost.

"Thank you Lord"

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

God answers dying boys prayer

God said no


My wife asked me to pray for her mother's cancer, and to be fair, God answered my prayer.

She died.

Billions of prayers around the world are being answered tonight: World Peace!

As the United States government shuts down

You are the answer to my prayers...

You're not what I prayed for. But you're the answer to my prayers.

She said to me, you're the answer to my prayers.

You're not what I asked for, but you're the answer.

Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..."

Makes me wonder why. They obviously weren't answered.

Notice at a religious place

Do not leave your cell phone,wallet,hand bags,gifts, un-attended; others may think they found an answer to their prayers!

A man keeps praying to God to please let him win the lottery...

He prays every day for years... and years... and years!! He even got his church to pray for him with diligent prayer warriors.

One day he angrily shouts at God, why won't you hear my effing prayer..!!???

God answers, why don't you go buy an effing ticket..??!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prayers answered pulpit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working prayers answered amen piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes