Praise Jokes
57 praise jokes and hilarious praise puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about praise that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Jokes that involve praising the Lord, admiring oneself, and giving kudos to the Reverend are the focus of this article. Learn how to bring a lighthearted moment to Sunday service through two-liners, stories, and creative deliverance. Spice up your praise and worship with a few lighthearted jokes.
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Funniest Praise Short Jokes
Short praise jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The praise humour may include short applause jokes also.
- When bill gates donates 30% of his net worth He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.
- Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
- To make a fool love you, praise their intelligence... ...but you already knew that, because you're so intelligent.
- Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old european song of praise. It was a Finnish hymn.
- Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. On the other hand, His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
- Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
- If someone donates their kidney, they get praised for their selflessness... But if I donate five, I get arrested?
- I don't understand when someone donates a kidney they get praised a hero, But when I donate 5, I get arrested?
- I was disappointed that my sister started dating a guy who praised Stalin, idolized Karl Marx, and was working to form a union at work I don't know she missed all the red flags
- Cop stopped me... Cop stopped me.
Me: A problem, officer?
Cop: what's that bottle?
Me: it's just water, officer
Cop: but this is wine, sir
Me: praise the lord & his miracles.
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Praise One Liners
Which praise one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with praise? I can suggest the ones about congratulate and compliment.
- Two handicapped men walk into a bar... PRAISE THE LORD!!
- Three disabled people walk into a bar. Praise the Lord!!!
- Where do people who praise WiFi go? The promised LAN.
- What do you call an SEO expert who praises Google? "Kneel" Patel
- What do you call a holy cow in an oven? Praised beef.
- To all of you that have overcome Fatboy Slim addiction.... I have to praise you
- Why do people that give one kidney get praised... But I try to give 5 and get arrested?
- What do you call a clown that praises the sun? Solitaire.
- Today is a most sacred day Happy Easter Thursday! 420 praise it!
- A satanist asked why I would 420 blaze it, When i could 180 and praise it.
- My daughters keep praising Ariana Grande's music They say it's to die for
- How to become rich: 1- Drug Lord
2- War Lord
3- Praise the Lord - Two cigarette walks into a bar. Bartender praises the first one... the other one burns
- Why 4kids couldn't have done 9/11. They would've changed "Allahu Akbar" too "Praise God".
- What did God say to Mary after impregnating her? Praise the Load
Praise The Lord Jokes
Here is a list of funny praise the lord jokes and even better praise the lord puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mother in law got pulled over Cop asked:whats in the bottle?
She says :water
He says: it looks like wine!
She's: Praise the lord, Jesus did it again! - What did the gay fireman say on 9/11 praise the lord, its raining men
- Yo momma so poor that when she f**... she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
- Yo momma so poor I f**... in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Silly & Ridiculous Praise Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about praise you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean admire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make praise pranks.
I could argue that someone passing out in the punchline enhances the joke,
but that would be faint praise indeed.
Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.
Well, that and s**....
"A man gets pulled over by a cop..."
As soon as the cop walks up to the window he sees a bottle with wine, and the driver says: "Sir, this is just a bottle of water I bought at the gas station a few miles back."
Cop: "Well I'm quite sure that is red wine you have in there"
Driver: "Praise the Lord its a miracle!"
A police officer pulls someone over
The officer asks the man "What's in the bottle sir?"
"It's just water!" replies the man.
"Sir this is clearly alcohol." says the police officer, clearly able to smell the contents of the bottle.
The very obviously drunk man begins to shout "Praise the Lord and his miracles!"
I don't get why all these people praise lawyers just for being U2 fans
Suddenly they're special for taking on Pro-Bono cases?
What do literature critics always praise about the Shawshank Redemption?
The prose and the cons
o**... donation has a n**... double standard when it comes to praise.
Some guy donates his kidney, he's praised as a hero. I donate 5, and I get arrested? Double standards smh
I met Snoop Dogg last night and he said that I roll the best blunts he's ever smoked.
That's high praise.
As a Muslim, I really appreciate the Courts upholding religious freedom
Seriously, Praise Be A Law
Below the southern border is a world of corruption and evil
Good thing I live in North Korea, all praise our glorious leader
The Tea Party
Mom went shopping, leaving Dad in charge of their daughter. Suzie was about 18 months old and loved playing with her new tea set. Dad was engrossed in the evening news when Suzie brought him a little cup of 'tea' (really just plain water).
He praised her good 'cooking,' so she brought him more. After several cups of 'tea,' and much praise, Mom came home.
"Honey, watch this," said Dad and had her wait in the living room as Suzie brought him another cup of tea.
"Isn't she just the cutest?"
Mom waited until he had polished off yet another cup of 'tea' before asking, "Did you ever think that the only place a baby can get water is the toilet?!"
BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure.
Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.
Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone
The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
The other day I saw an event a local church was having at a dispensary where they were giving away donuts and spreading the Word of God
They called it Glaze It, Blaze It, and Praise It
One praiseworthy thing about Hilter is that...
...he actually killed h**....
Christian Horse
A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' to make him go and 'Amen!' to make him stop."
Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" Sure enough, the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord!" he said again, and the horse began to trot. "Praise the Lord!" he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop.
Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn't notice the cliff he and horse were about to go over. Bill shouted "AMEN!" at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff.
Relieved, Bill said, "Phew, Praise the Lord!"
What is something you can say to praise a Christmas tree but shouldn't say about a woman?
Looks pretty in the darkness.
4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion!
4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion. As they run, they cry out to God yelling, "PLEASE LORD! CONVERT THIS LION TO BE A CHRISTIAN LION!"
They run until they reach a dead end.
They hungry lion approaches slowly, as they cry out louder:
"PLEASE LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND CONVERT HIM!"
They lion stops walking, and the monks praise God.
The lion kneels down, puts his paws together and says:
"Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive through thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen."
A zookeeper loses his Bible while at work...
... A week later when he's feeding the penguins one of them waddles up to him holding his Bible in its beak.
"Praise God, it's a miracle!" says the delighted zookeeper.
"Not really," says the penguin, "Your name is written on the inside cover."
Every day, a woman stood on her porch and shouted ,"Praise the Lord!"
And every day the atheist next door yelled, "There is no Lord!"
One day she prayed, "Lord, I'm hungry. Please send me groceries."
The next morning she found a big bag of food on the stairs. "Praise the Lord," she shouted.
"Ha! I told you there was no Lord," her neighbour said, jumping from behind a bush.
"I bought those groceries." "Praise the Lord!" the woman said.
"He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them."
My dad wronged me...
I brought home a test score of 90 and showed it to my dad. I thought he would praise me for it, but my dad took one look at the test script and said I added the "0" there. I got a big scolding and was grounded for the week. I really didn't add the "0".
I added the "9".
My friend Glados said there is cake on my cake day
But all I see is praise and up votes. I'm starting to think the cake is a lie.
Boy it's hot in here too.
As a scientist, I received a lot of praise for figuring out a new method of getting drugs to enter cells more effectively and efficiently.
As a prisoner, I received another 2 years on my sentence.
Neo-n**... don't praise h**...
They praise the man who killed him
Once there was a guy named Bill who wanted a horse.
On Craigslist, Bill saw a Christian horse so he went to check it out.
When Bill got to the ranch, the horse's owner said "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'praise the Lord' to make him go, and 'amen' to make him stop." Bill got on the horse and said "praise the Lord." the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord" and the horse is running. Now Bill sees the cliff and says: "AMEN."
The horse stops and Bill says: "Whew! Praise the lord!"
Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
An american and a russian both praise their homeland.
\- Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
The american says:
\-Now look, I could go right now in front of the white house and hold a protest against president Biden and nothing would happen to me.
\-My friend, it is exactly the same in Russia. The red square is open to all those who wish to protest against president Biden.
A man is pulled over for drunk driving
The cop walks up to his window,
Sir, have you been drunk driving?
No sir! Says the man
What's in that bottle? Says the cop
Just water sir! Says the man
The cop says, Hand it to me and let me see
The man hands him the bottle and the cop says sir this is wine
The man says praise the lord and all his miracles!
My cop friend kept demanding that I praise him for the apparently excellent ticket that he just wrote until I eventually gave in and said,
"Fine, fine fine."
