The Best 81 Powerful Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Powerful jokes. There are some powerful immense jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these powerful almighty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Powerful Jokes and Puns

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

Kill the Dragon

An evil and powerful dragon lives near a village.
It eats a virgin from the village every week.
No one can defeat it.

One day a hero comes and attempts to kill the dragon.
He finds that the dragon is too power to be defeated.
He decides to kill the dragon with intelligence.

Several months later, the dragon is starved to death.

The "Add Min" button on my microwave...

...makes me feel unduly powerful.

Powerful joke, The "Add Min" button on my microwave...

The world's leading scientists build a lie-detecting machine...

...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.

They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I thinkβ€”" and drops dead.

Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house?

This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.


What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica?

A hegemon.

So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . .

If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine.

Powerful joke, So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . .

What's a powerful chicken who lifts and pulls stuff called?

Fowl Winch

A Pharmacist goes out for lunch

A pharmacist goes out for lunch and leaves his assistant to tend the customers. An hour passes and he returns and sees a man sitting awkwardly. He asks his assistant about the man and his assistant told him the man came in with a bad cough and that he had given him a powerful laxative. The pharmacist yelled "laxatives aren't for coughs!" The assistant replied, oh yea? He hasn't coughed anymore, He's scared to.

Why are the mantises so powerful in combat?

Because they pray.

lol it's new powerful ukrainian weapon?

You can explore powerful strongest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean powerful omnipotent dad jokes. There are also powerful puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a powerful, asshole-ish potato?

A dick-tater.

A girl came to me today...

...and told me she will have sex with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.

What's the most powerful painkiller a hospital keeps on hand?

Dielaffin.

iphone designer seeks help from god

* *iphone7 designer*:your highness show us the path to create the most unique and powerful phone the world will ever see
* *God*:arrg,why don't you just **jack off!!!**
* designer:wow,that could really work

Science fact!

There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

Powerful joke, Science fact!

I like my women like I like my vacuum cleaners

Cordless and with powerful suction

What's the most powerful part of a french tank

Reverse gear

Which is the most powerful colour?

Super Cyan


Apple is advertising the new iPhone as "The most powerful four inches ever."

I can't believe they stole my slogan.

I am the world's most powerful creature. I gulp down monsters whole for lunch.

For the record, I also drink Redbull.

One day, scientists will make a very powerful computer

They will ask. "Is there a god?"
And the computer shall respond, after a moment of silence
"There is one now."

In the future, a group of scientists invent a very powerful computer

The scientists ask, "Is there a god?"
...
And the computer responds, "There is one now."

Valeria Messalina was a powerful Roman empress, best known for her long and influential political career, and for her hobby of hanging out in brothels and prostituting herself.

Makes sense to me. If I had to spend my days with senators and rulers, I'd want to spend my nights with a better class of people, too.

Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump.

Do you know why Hitler was more powerful than Jesus

Jesus made 5000 people fish and bread, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

Moses Meets Dubya

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"

Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"

Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful?

Because they were set in stone.

Just heard about that powerful 7.4 earthquake near Christchurch

Gotta buy a few more speakers.

Why was the powerful Jedi a terrible comedian?

Too *forced*, his punchlines were

I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day, and she said "Something long and powerful that vibrates."

I hope she likes her new weed eater!

(NSFW) How do you make two School Shooters more powerful?

Columbine them together.

Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive"

Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown"

What drives the rich & powerful to rape?

their chauffeurs

Why is Jesus less powerful than a locomotive?

Because Jesus could only walk on water but a locomotive runs on steam.

Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game

Reasons are:

1. The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. The Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. Most importantly, there's only one Queen.

An old man was piloting a small plane with his wife and kids aboard as a powerful storm raged.

Don't fret so much, he said to them as they were filled with fear. If anything should happen to me, I've provided for all of you very generously in my will.

America's army is the most powerful army in the world, French Armed Forces is No. 5 in the world, Lebanese Armed Forces is...

Lebanese Armed Forces is the most powerful army in Lebanon.

Did you know cats can jump higher than a house?

This is largely due to the cats powerful hind legs and the fact houses cant jump.

What institution has powerful old men who sexually assault people, has a sick inner circle of keeping people quite, influenced thousands of people, and has a black book?

Hollywood

I think that the powerful, elite titans of industry have learned an important lesson from this whole Harvey Weinstein ordeal.

Never hire a board of directors.

if the answer is serious, risky, and heroic. what is the question?

what is the speed settings on the world's most powerful vibrator?

What's the most powerful Star Card in Star Wars Battlefront II?

Your credit card.

What's more powerful than a North Korean nuclear bomb?

Ford Fiesta.

I sometimes wonder what the most powerful magnets in the world are.

Then I realized I have one: My bed.

The Falcon Heavy is now the world's most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or your mom into deep space.

I've wondered how powerful monster trucks are

turns out is not a valid excuse for running people over.

Do you know what's more powerful than a mind that understands the deepest reaches of the universe?

ALS

My phone keeps changing critical words in important texts.

Autocorrect, you've made a powerful enema today.

What is the most powerful vegetable in the DragonBall Z universe?

Kacarrot

A husband and wife are talking, and the husband asks:

"You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?" Wife - "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears." Husband - "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Wife - "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"Β 

Music is very powerful,

like that Kars 4 Kids commercial. Before I saw that commercial I wanted to donate a car to kids, but that song changed my mind.

A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.

This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.

You know how Al Gore invented the internet?

Well he also invented a rhythm for it. It's a powerful rhythm, it's called the Al Gore Rhythm.

Two Dumb Terrorists

Two Dumb Terrorists were planting a powerful explosive on a car.

First one says "Careful! Or it'll blow up."

Second one replies "No worries. I've brought an extra just in case."

The Russians developed a very powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Or as they call him, Agent Orange .

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

I was shocked...

to find out how powerful a taser is.

Studies show that prostitutes have higher levels of oxytocin than the average person.

Oxytocin is known to increase erotic vocalizations during sex. Scientists believe that this may be an adaptation to help with pleasing their clients.

It's a very powerful whore-moan.

In 20 years, computers will be over 10,000 times more powerful than they are now

In fact, some researchers suggest they may even be able to run Windows 10 without crashing.

How powerful are the Arktika's two nuclear reactors?

I don't know, but it's enough to break the ice...



*Hi I'm \_Boonie\_*

They say that the most powerful way for a woman to have sex is doggy style...

Then they're really bangin' on all fours.

Genie: I will grant you three wishes

Oppenheimer : I want world peace; I want my country to be the most powerful in the world; And I want thousands of more wishes.

Remember, abstaining from sex and storing your sperm is the only way you can have a powerful brain and a strong body, according to my local pastor.

Why is the most powerful man in America scowling more since November?

He can't help it, winters are cold in Russia.

My sexual prowess is comparable to the whole Russian Military.

Where I make it out to be much more powerful than it actually is.

My boss is very powerful. He makes me work overtime

`power = work / time`



Physics anyone?

Social justice warriors love Captain Marvel because she's a powerful woman...

...but hate her because she's Binary.

Two whales are swimming along in the ocean...

When one whale spots a fishing boat. So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"

The other whale says "Oh yeah? What should we do?"

"I say we both go under their boat, and blow our blowholes as hard as we can, that will knock over their boat!" And so both whales went under the boat, and with a powerful blast they were able to capsize the boat and send all the sailors into the water.

The first whale then says "Now that they are all in the water, I say we eat them!"

And the second whale replies "Woah, woah, woah. I was all for the blow job but I won't swallow any seamen".

What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?

"It was shockingly powerful... Like, it really Hertz."

Today I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter.

...aaaand they kicked me out of the 12-step program.

A bard wants to be more powerful and so he strikes a deal with a witch

The witch says she will only grant his wish if he gives her his first born son

The bard laughs and says sure! Good luck finding him

A doctor made a mistake and unknowingly prescribed his patient a powerful laxative instead of cough drops.

At the end of the week the patient comes back for a check-up. The doctor asks him: *So how's it going, Mr. Kowalski? Do you still cough a lot ?*''

The patient, who's been sitting there very rigidly, looks at him with wide eyes, *No. I'm afraid to*.

Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.

These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

The average fox can jump higher than a house.

This is in part due to their powerful hind legs, but mainly because houses can't jump.

Cr

Netflix's latest movie.

Netflix have released a powerful new film set in the 18th century about a princess who's cursed by non-stop menstruation . The witch who cursed her says she has before the age of 21 to lift the curse by falling in love.



Honestly, it's a fantastic period drama.

What are the most powerful biscuits in the universe?

The Infinity Scones...



My 11 year old just came up with that one on his own...

Little Johnny was sitting on the curb

Shaking a bottle of turpentine. The local priest walking by, stopped and asked what he had in the bottle. Johnny said, this is the most powerful liquid in the world, turpentine. The priest said, the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water. A couple drops on a pregnant woman's belly, and she will pass a baby boy . Johnny said, That's nothing! A couple drops of this turpentine on a cat's ass, it will pass a motorcycle.

Why is the ocean so powerful?

Because it has lots of mussels.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the powerful lifeforms jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working powerful potent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes