Power Lines Jokes
29 power lines jokes and hilarious power lines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about power lines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Power Lines Short Jokes
Short power lines jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The power lines humour may include short wires jokes also.
- The Heart-Shaped Herb has been responsible for granting superhuman powers to every King of Wakanda in the line. It blessed the reigns down in Africa.
- A man died electrocuted when trying to steal a cable from power lines. I guess he's a bad thief but a good conductor.
- I regret buying that top of the line PC; computing power doubles every 18 months so the computer is now obsolete. I'm feeling buyers remoore's.
- What do you call a guy that can cut down trees without hitting the power lines? Smart feller
- ISIS's New Candy Bar Line In order to shore up waning power in Syria and Iraq, ISIS put out a candy bar appealing to young Muslims. They call it the: Allahu Choklatbar! exclamation point
- Yo momma so ghetto, she had to steal a pair of shoes just to throw them over the power line.
Share These Power Lines Jokes With Friends
Power Lines One Liners
Which power lines one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with power lines? I can suggest the ones about electrical wire and railroad tracks.
- Why did the power line not go to prom? She was grounded
- All the power lines went down in a storm last Friday ... Everyone was *delighted*.
- I just flew into a power line and boy, are my arms wired!
- Why do the birds sit on power lines? They need to recharge.
- Did you hear about the solar powered clothes dryer? It's called a clothes line.
- Why do power lines hum? Because they don't know the words.
Cheerful Fun Power Lines Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about power lines you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean railway tracks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make power lines pranks.
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
Life hacks from Secretary Stalin, don't dress for the job you want. Use the job you have to create a totalitarian dictatorship to crush your enemies.
*this joke exists because I found out Stalin's title during his reign was Secretary. During the power struggles his opponents wanted to give him a menial job to side line him. But he realized he controlled who got invitations to meeting, what was on the agenda, and when they should happen. Leading to his total d**... of the communist party as a dictator.
My neighbor's been working hard during this hot summer day, so I decided to cool him off with my garden hose
I appreciate the thankful little dances his body has been making but I really wish he'd get back to repairing my power line.
Going on a Bachelor party cruise
I was getting ready to go on a cruise for my best friends bachelor party and told Voice command Cell girl to "Remind me about power s**... for bachelor party". Later that night my wife asked if we had purchased an extra cruise ticket or if the cruise line was going to throw in the power stripper.
Three engineers were sitting in a bar talking about God
The electrical engineer says "God is clearly an electrical engineer. Look at the nervous system! The vast network of nerves and all those neurons firing..."
The mechanical engineer jumps in "No, God is obviously a mechanical engineer. What better example of the power of levers than the muscles, bones, ligaments, and tendons!"
The civil engineer says "You're both wrong. God is a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste disposal line right through a prime recreational area?"
A teacher asks her student a question...
"if there's two birds on a power line and somebody shoots one of them, how many birds are left?"
" Zero" the boy said "the others would have flown away"
"Actually the correct answer is two" said the teacher "but I like where your heads at."
The boy came back to school next day and asked the teacher a question. "If there's three women sitting on a bench eating ice cream and one is l**... their ice cream, one is chomping on theirs and the other is s**... on theirs, which one is married?"
The teacher answered "the woman s**... her ice cream."
The boy replied "actually it's the one with the wedding ring but I like where your heads at."
So Moses decides to become a superhero...
...he creates a costume and calls himself The Crimson Crusader, with a crimson coloured 'C' on his belt. In line with his new superhero duties, he goes out to look for trouble and sure enough, he sees a man getting beat up by a gang of thugs. Moses approaches the thugs and attempts to engage in contact, however he is too weak and the thugs overpower him as well. Moses manages to escape the brawl and throws his belt with the Crimson 'C' on the floor. Suddenly, Moses becomes powerful and defeats the gang of thugs with ease. The man is grateful and asks Moses, "What happened? How did you get stronger so quickly?"
"Well" Moses replied, "I just parted with the red C."
Jesus and Satan are having an argument about who is the better computer programmer.
This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.
Very well, says God, let us see if Jesus has fared any better.
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?
God chuckles, Everybody knows… Jesus saves.
Jesus VS Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves"
An engineer, a doctor and a priest were playing golf.
A f**... was playing ahead of them and each man had his own personal ball spotter lining them up and then taking them to their ball.
The game was moving extremely slow and the men were starting to become annoyed.
The head golf pro showed up to see how the men were doing. The priest, being curious asked the pro what the deal with the men was.
The pro answered that the four men were firefighters that lost their eyesight in the clubhouse fire the year before. Because of this they get to play for free and get their own caddies.
The priest hearing this was saddened and said he would pray every night for the men.
The doctor then said that we would do everything in his power to find a way to get these men's eyesight back to them.
The engineer then asked the pro why the men can't play at night.
A priest and a nun are playing golf...
The priest is on the putting green and is an avid golfer. He lines up his shot and swings...and the ball goes far left.
"GOD d**...!" shouted the priest.
The nun, horrified, says "Father, you can't do that, that's offensive". And the priest, looking down, apologizes and asks for her forgiveness.
Once again, he walks up to the ball, lines up his shot, swings, and once again the ball misses the hole. "GOD....d**...!" screamed the priest as he threw his putter on the ground.
"Father!" said the nun, "You are taking the lords name in vain, that is a sin. You are a representative of the church you musn't do that.
And once again the priest says "Sorry. Forgive me".
"Well just try to let it not happen again" said the nun
The priest grabs his putter, lines up his next shot, misses, and screams "GOD d**...!"
The nun cries out "Father! That is enough! You are commiting a sin you are personally offending me, you are taking the lords name in vain. Never do that again"
The priest says "You're right, if I say that again, may the lord strike me dead"
And after a nod of approval from the nun, the priest takes another swing, misses once again, and screams "GOD d**...!"
Just as he says it clouds swell overhead and a powerful bolt of lightening comes down and strikes the nun dead. And the priest heard this big booming voice say....
"OH, GOD d**...!"