Power Jokes

What are some Power jokes?

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Why is spiderman so good at comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.

When the power went out I was screwed.

Small Head

A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"

Why is free Wi-Fi never seen in churches?

Because no church wants to be challenged by an invisible power that actually works.

How is Rihanna's boyfriend and power tools the same?

They're both Black and Decker.

The power of Pepsi

So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"

I was offered sex from a 21 year old girl today

In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.

None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.

Turns out they just needed a higher power.

Professor X to JK Rowling:

Professor X: "What's your power?"

JK Rowling: "I can rewrite the past of fictional characters."

Gay Professor X: "Interesting."

I just found my old Nokia and connected it with my power bank.

The power bank is now fully charged again.

With great power comes

Greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

If I had the power of invisibility,

I would end every argument by disappearing and saying "have I made myself clear?"

Why are atheists afraid of exponents?

They don't believe in a higher power.

Why did the tree install solar panels?

It wanted to be a power plant.

You're a unit of power, Harry.

Harry: I'm a watt?

With great power comes great...

electricity bills

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"

Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."


Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"

Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."

"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."


Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"


Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*

A Soviet newspaper announces:

"Last night, the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station fulfilled the Five Year Plan for heat energy generation..."

"...in four microseconds."

How did Hitler originally get into power?

"Let's make Germany great again"

How Can You Tell When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

Why was Portugal the best colonial power?

Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS.

In his quest to gain more power, the mad scientist extended his hours at the lab.

This is after he discovered that power is work overtime.

What is the only meal served in nuclear power stations?

Fission chips.

My brother asked me which super power I'd like

Apparently the united states wasn't a good answer.

Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?

To get to the other slide

There exists a Japanese gentleman with a great power: None of his family or friends can die

He's unbereavable

What's the most powerful Star Card in Star Wars Battlefront II?

Your credit card.

New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop

I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell

My electricity bill was running suspiciously high

Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.

Knowledge is Power

They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.


Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?


Number 7: 49

Kill the Dragon

An evil and powerful dragon lives near a village.
It eats a virgin from the village every week.
No one can defeat it.

One day a hero comes and attempts to kill the dragon.
He finds that the dragon is too power to be defeated.
He decides to kill the dragon with intelligence.

Several months later, the dragon is starved to death.

A man walks into a bar..

...and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?" Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door,back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on,dirty, clean... It just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it." Eyes now wide with interest, he responds: "No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"

Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space

Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.

**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.

**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.

**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.

Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.

They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.

So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.

Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.

Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."

What did the Power Ranger say after becoming a Junkie?

Its Morphine time

My Psychology Professor asked me what Super Power I would like to have...

Apparently "Cold War Era Russia" is not an acceptable answer.

How do you call a flower on steroids?

A power plant.

Picture problems

One day a wife asked her husband why he kept a picture of her in his wallet.

"Whenever I have a problem, no matter how big, I look at your picture and feel much better,"he said.

"I have that much power over you?" the wife asked, excited.

"Yes,"he said,"When I look at your picture, I tell myself that my other problems are not nearly as big as this one."

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon? (OC)

Because he had the power of a torn knee

Hillary Meets with Satan

Hillary was finishing up a day on the campaign trail when the Devil suddenly appeared in her and made her an offer...

"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."

Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?"

"Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted.

"A pandering media?" she asked.

"They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do," the Devil assured.

"And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents?" she asked.

"Yes. All of them," the Devil answered.

Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:

"So...what's the catch?"

No power.

Mitt Romney : "8 Million Americans still have no power."

Obama: "8 Million and one."

Luke cage

In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof.

But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

The power of prayer

A ship is sinking, the captain turns to the people on the boat and asks, "does anyone here know how to pray?"

The priest on boards says he can pray.

Captain: "Ok priest, you pray. Everyone else will wear a life jacket. We are short of one."

Jesus and the Devil have a competition

After countless years of Jesus being in the spotlight, the Devil had had enough. He issued a challenge to Jesus; whoever writes the longest story on Microsoft Word wins. Jesus accepts, and they get to it. After hours and hours of frantic typing, there is suddenly a power cut. The Devil is furious, whilst Jesus remains calm. As soon as the power comes back, he boots up his computer and has lost all his work, before seeing Jesus calmly typing from where he left off. Lucifer is not happy at all, calling Jesus a cheat, before God intervenes, proclaiming Jesus the winner. The moral of the story? *Jesus saves*

A lawyer is working late one night. There's a knock on his door, and in walks Satan...

Satan walks in, takes a seat, and starts talking.

"I'm here to make you an offer. I will give you all the fame, success, power, and wealth that you've ever desired. You'll be the top of your field; you can even get into politics, if you want. Schools will adopt your name. Want to own an island? How about three islands? All of that, and more...
"...and the only thing I ask for in exchange is a promise from you. You promise that your soul, the soul of your wife, and the souls of your children will be mine for all eternity."

The lawyer says nothing. He stands up, scratches his chin, and wanders around the office for a few minutes, thinking. Finally he turns to Satan and says incredulously, "All right, all right, wait just a second here. What's the catch?"

Math Joke

The "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers, scientists, and teachers can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be proved by mathematics based on the two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As any engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since: Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money

Then: Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

I used to be square but then I gave my self to a higher power...

Now I'm stuck in this cubical all day

Today I was offered sex

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.

- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.

An Englishman, An American and A Korean are on a ship...

The ship is in stormy waters, when suddenly a genie appears from the waves and tells them "I'm sorry, but you men will die in this storm. I have no power to prevent your death, but as some recompense I can grant you all one wish before you perish"

The three great friends begin to think before answering the genie.

The American answers first "I want the chance to sing the great national anthem of America one last time in full, and please genie allow the storm to quieten so that my friends may hear this wonderful tune and enjoy it"

The genie replies that he can grant this wish

The Korean next asks "It would make my last moments on this earth perfect if I could one last time eat the traditional food of my country, some sour and spicy cabbage soup, along with salted blood sausage and ice noodles - but I want enough so that I can share the last meal with my friends.

"It will be done" answers the genie

Finally the British man speaks up.

"Please kill me before the song and the food:"

What brand of power tools does Chris Brown use?

Black and Deck Her

No Sex

As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up sex for Lent. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in this effort.

The first few weeks weren't too difficult. Things got tougher during the next couple of weeks, so the wife wore her dowdiest nightclothes and chewed on garlic before going to bed.

The last couple of weeks were extremely tough on the husband, so the wife took to locking the bedroom door and forcing the husband to sleep on the couch.

Easter morning finally came. A knock came on the wife's bedroom door.

"**KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!**"


Husband: "Guess whom?"


Wife: "I know who it is!"


Husband: "Guess what I want?"


Wife: "I know what you want!"


Husband: "Guess what I'm knockin' with?"

Lets talk.

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."




The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"




"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"



"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"




The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."




To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?"

How to make Power jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Power to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Power? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Power pick up lines to share with friends.

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