Pound Town Jokes
29 pound town jokes and hilarious pound town puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pound town that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pound Town Short Jokes
Short pound town jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pound town humour may include short pound shop jokes also.
- Brexit There is a new slimming product in town.
It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds. - Did you hear that Dollar Tree is opening a store in the U.K? They're naming it p**....
- I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to p**... because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
- Everyone thinks pound cake is called "pound cake" because of the ingredients But it's actually named after the place it was invented, "p**...",
You know, where your mom lives. - My valentine told me to bring her to p**.... Apparently bringing her to the gym because I thought she could lose a few pounds wasn't what she was talking about.
- I told my british friend to take his crush to p**... He said it was fun, but she called him a cheapskate.
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Pound Town One Liners
Which pound town one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pound town? I can suggest the ones about pound cake and pounds.
- I'm going to open a dollar store in England It'll be called p**....
- What do you call a street full of cheap h**... and a McDonald's? Quarter p**....
- I'm taking your mom to the new British dollar store p**....
- There's a cheap p**... in town who works the corner by McDonald's Quarter? Pound her.
- What do you call a dirt-cheap brothel in Britain? p**...
- What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain? p**...
- TIL p**...… …isn't a nickname for England.
- Did your mom get those plane tickets? I'm taking her to p**...
- If I were to open a dollar store in the UK, I'd call it p**....
Pound Town Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pound town you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pound it hand jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pound town pranks.
A blind man gets into a blondes only bar
He approaches the bar, asks for a beer, and tells her:
- Do you want to hear a very funny joke on blondes?
- Ohh man, you got into the wrong place with this joke! I am 200 pounds blonde barwoman, at your right there is a blonde bodybuilder, at the right there is a blond black belt on karate, and at your back its the most insane blond biker in town. I am gone ask you only once; are you sure you want to tell a joke on blondes?
- No, i dont want to explain the joke four times
During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended
The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.
It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,
along with 750,000 cans of beer,
100,000 hot dogs,
15,000 pounds of granola,
and a bar of soap
An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada.
He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...
It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.
The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.
His feet feel refreshed!
The street has gorgeous s**... and embankments, like an alleyway out of Florence in the 1500s, but made out of clay stones.
He sees two gentlemen working on fixing a small crack in the street, the only blemish for blocks.
One of them is pounding down the clay with a wide-head sledgehammer, thwap thwap!
The other is on his knees with a compass and a pick and a broom, adjusting the grade of the street material.
He interrupts them to say, Excuse me gentlemen! I hate to be a bother, but I just want to applaud your hard work on this alleyway. It's rare a city takes such good care with its streets and this one is one of the best.
The man with the sledge stops and says, Well, we appreciate that sir. You know your streets, it seems! Would it surprise you to know that the composition of this street is not adobe? It's mulched with our native nut trees, the cashew nut. That's what gives it its softness. When it rains, the petrichor has a slight sweetness due to the cashew, and the town smells fantastic. I'm just hammering it down before it gets too cold.
Well, I'll be! cried the archaeologist. And what's that fellow up to? pointing to the man on his knees.
Oh him! He's in charge of checking the grade of the clay. If it's too rough, he picks and sweeps it. Backbreaking work. We hire four of them, one for each season. And since autumn just arrived, he's got a few months yet. So you see...
And here the man paused...
So you see...my hammered alley is really 'cashews clay'. And he is the gradist.
The gradist...of fall time.
No matter how hard it tries, a pollack cannot pose as an Italian
A polish man moves to the USA; it is circa 1920. However, he's having a hard time getting started. Everywhere he goes to get a job he hears "no, we don't hire you dumb pollacks". He is saddened by these blatant stereotypes.
He sees that Italians are succeeding in the new world, and decides he is going to try to pose as an Italian. He spends weeks practicing his accent, learning the culture, and otherwise becoming an Italian.
Once he feels confident he goes into town with his newly adopted persona, and walks into a shop
He yells at the guy behind the counter in a thick italian accent "hey, get me a half pound of your best provolone and full pound of prosciutto"
The man immediately asks "Sir, are you a pollack?"
Disgruntled he goes "....uh, no no, give me my f**...' meat and cheese"
The man responds "Sir, this is a hardware store."
An Irish Painter
An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar,
was a gifted portrait artist.
Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all
over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to
get him to paint their likenesses.
One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a
stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the n**.... This being
the first time anyone had made such a request he was a bit perturbed,
particularly when the woman told him that money was no object; in
fact, and she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds.
Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while
he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked
much about the Rightness and Wrongness of it. It was hard to make the
decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition.
In a few minutes he returned.
"T'would be me pleasure to paint yer portrait, missus," he said "The
wife says it's okay.
"I'll paint you in the n**... all right; but I have to at least leave me
socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brushes."