The Best 30 Potatoe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Potatoe jokes. There are some potatoe cauliflower jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these potatoe turnip puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Potatoe Jokes and Puns

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

Zero.

Potatoes from Chernobyl

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."

2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO

Potatoe joke, 2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

Two potatoes (no Latvians)

So two potatoes are sitting on the beach relaxing and one starts going on about how he doesn't need sunscreen and how he has such a nice tan. The other potato fed up yells at him "I'm trying to relax, quit your yammering".

Potatoes are delicate

So my roommate and I decided the other day we wanted to put up a potato garden in our backyard, but there was all sorts of rocks and gravel back there.

We had to be very careful to clean it all up, as you know the old saying, "you can kill tubers with one stone."


Two potatoes are standing on the corner. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

The one with the sticker that says, "Idaho".

Two potatoes on a street corner

There's two potatoes on a street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? It's the one with the little sticker on it that says Idaho!

Potatoe joke, Two potatoes on a street corner

If all potatoes were narrators, what would they be?

A common-tater

How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?

Accounting for the toxins in the skin of an unwashed potato... about 457

What do you call an annoying potatoe?

An agi-tater.

Ba-dum-tssss

Why do potatoes make great detectives?

Because they have eyes all over!

You can explore potatoe dictater reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean potatoe circumsizer dad jokes. There are also potatoe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Potatoes For Everyone!

A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.

''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''

What do potatoes and passwords have in common?

To be any good they have to be hashed and salted.

Why do potatoes loved to get mashed?

Because they're MASH-ochistic ;)

How many potatoes does it take to make the entire country of Ireland jealous?

One

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man ?

None.

Potatoe joke, How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man ?

How many potatoes does it take to kill half of Ireland?

None

If there are two potatoes on a street corner, which one is a prostitute?

The one that is stamped I da ho

How many potatoes

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None!

Sorry, had to post this on St Patrick's Day, probably a repost, but screw it.


There are two potatoes standing on the sidewalk. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

The one with the sticker Idaho.

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It has a sticker that says IDAHO.

(I'll hide under a rock now)

Why are potatoes better than your vision than carrots?

Because they start their life in an eye.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

They keep their eyes peeled...

If you see two potatoes standing on a street corner, how do you know which one is a prostitute?

It'll have a sticker that says "Idaho"

How many potatoes does it take to to make a potato pancake?

A latke!

How many potatoes does it take to make a potato pancake?

A latke!

(I removed a typo and reposted this joke, sorry if you saw it twice.)

How many potatoes can you fit in your mouth?

Maybe you'd be able to find out if you're mouth wasn't always filled with beets.

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the sticker that says IDAHO

How do potatoes get to space?

Using the starch ship enterfries

Two potatoes stand on the street corner. How do you tell which one's the hooker?

It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the potatoe potato head jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working potatoe sweet potato piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes