Potato Jokes
148 potato jokes and hilarious potato puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about potato that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is a collection of the funniest potato jokes from across the internet. Read through for puns about potato chip, potato famine, potato head, potato salad, potato love, potato spud, potato birthday, Latvia, potatoe, and fries. Get ready to tater it up with some of these hilarious puns!
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Funniest Potato Short Jokes
Short potato jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The potato humour may include short tomato jokes also.
- I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
- My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony? One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham
- These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".
- I've been trying to find an alarm clock made out of a potato... ...ever since I had a meeting with my boss about arriving late for work and he told me "Get a potato clock".
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
- Latvian Joke. What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? - What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
- Waitress "How did you find your steak tonight?" "I looked next to my potatoes and there it was"...
- Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish. - Joke from my daughter. What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!
no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle
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Potato One Liners
Which potato one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with potato? I can suggest the ones about tater and turnip.
- What do you call a reluctant potato? A hesitater
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
- What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator.
- What's more Irish than potatoes? No potatoes.
- What do you call an indecisive potato? A HESI-TATER.
- I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato
- What do you call 2 potatoes that hate each other? Starch enemies
- What do you call a boat full of mean potatoes? A dictatorship
- Lost job and no money for buy potato.
Also is cold.
Regret immigrate to Detroit. - Waiter! These potatoes taste powdery. Yes sir. We use only the finest ingredients.
- What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Dad, where's the thing for peeling potatoes? She went shopping.
- Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air.
- What do you call a mean Potato? A Dictator.
- what is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips? Sultan vinegar.
Potato Chips Jokes
Here is a list of funny potato chips jokes and even better potato chips puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do couch potatoes evolve into? Computer chips.
- What did the potato name his son? Chip.
Sorry. - How does a male potato chip mate with a female potato chip? He Lay's on her.
- Why don't birds eat potato chips? Because it RUFFLES their feathers.
- What do a bag of Lay's potato chips and the Milky Way have in common? They're both mostly empty space.
- Breast implants are like potato chips. You can't have just one.
- What style of potato chips does Santa Claus like best? Kringle Cut
- Why does the tortilla chip always beat the potato chip in a debate? The tortilla chip has a point.
- Why did the potato go to the chip factory? It was trying to get Lay-ed
- What do you call a potato cutting Friar? A Chip Monk.
Potato Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny potato day jokes and even better potato day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the potato start vlogging his day-to-day life? He wanted to become a You Tuber.
- I purchased a humble potato gun the other day. Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.
- Latvian Christmas Christmas Eve father ask son what want christmas. Son say potato. Father say "Ok. Santa bring potato." Next day boy is learn Santa no exist.
- What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day
- The founder of the Lays potato chip company came to Hawaii the other day. As a welcoming gift, we gave him leis.
- Potato Today you ignore me because I'm a potato
One day I'll french fries and you I'll craze for me - How many potatoes a day will make you fat? 00000
Baked Potato Jokes
Here is a list of funny baked potato jokes and even better baked potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the twice-baked potato say upon being arrested? Foiled again!
- Why couldn't the potato get off the couch? Because it was baked.
- An evil baked potato hatched a devious scheme Fortunately, it was foiled.
- What do you call a potato from Colorado? A baked potato
- I have some weeds in my potato garden That's OK, I was going to make baked potatoes anyway.
- Why was the potato so hungry? It was baked.
- What do you get when you combine someone from Colorado and someone from Idaho? A Baked Potato
- A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"
- What do you call a potato smokin' a joint? Baked!
- What do you get when weeds start growing in a vegetable garden? Baked potatoes.
Potato Sack Jokes
Here is a list of funny potato sack jokes and even better potato sack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife is like a potato. She's thin-skinned, but always comes in the sack.
Potato Chip Jokes
Here is a list of funny potato chip jokes and even better potato chip puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Potato Chip are like car company they are very good at making air bags.
- Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is a very useful information.. If you're moving and you need help carrying a potato chip across town.
- What's something that both an American and an Ethiopian can never have? Just one potato chip.
- A male potato chip steps up to the bar and buys a drink. He sees two female potato chips sitting nearby. He says to the one female potato chip, "Excuse me. Are you Herr's or Frito Lay?"
- How do the British call chips made from GMO potatoes? CRISPRs
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- How did the McCain family afford their first potato factory? A few people chipped in.
- Why was the potato salty? Because he had a chip on his shoulder
- Theater staff: What's in your hand? Me: An AK-47 and some hand grenades.
TS: No, the other one.
Me: oh it's just a bag of potato chips lol
TS: you ain't takin' the bag of chips inside. - What brand of potato chip do Matadors prefer? "Oh Lays"
Gather Around for Heartwarming Potato Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about potato you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cabbage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make potato pranks.
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
My Favorite Latvian Joke
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man,
is secret police.
What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Latvian Joke
Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.
Life like potato...
Only have one, then soldier come and take.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Latvian joke.
I tell Latvian joke:
Latvian man very hungry.
He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.
Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!
He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, s**... whole thing.
Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "
End from joke.
Latvian potato eating contest.
Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry.
Potatoes from Chernobyl
An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked w**...?
He got baked.
Where does biggest potato grow?
Under the ground.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to start a potato chip company called "d**...'s."
Our motto would tell you to eat a bag of 'em.
Latvian Jokes
Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the h**...?
The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO
Latvian Dreamin'
Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own g**....
Nobody likes dictators
The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies
Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.
Latvian Joke
One Latvian comes to other Latvian. First say "is that potato? Will buy." Second Latvian say "No, is wife." Both men sad.
Potato Patch
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred
Why did the sea monster eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call someone who murders a hundred people with a potato masher?
A mash m**....
This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around.
I was a dictator.
How do you treat Mrs. Potato Head when she has cancer?
Ampu-tater
Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young?
That's how he became a dictator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... Irishman?
A baked potato.
A mathematician goes into an insane asylum
He approaches a group of gentleman and asks:
How much is 9 minus 3?
First guy answers: "Potato."
Nope. I'm afraid that is incorrect. Anybody else?
"Tuesday." Replies a second.
Wrong again.
"Six!" Answers a third.
Ah! Very good. Tell me how did you figure that out?
"Simple! I just multiplied Tuesday and Potato and subtracted 83.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome?
A baked potato.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal
A six pack and a potato
I got arrested today for feeding the homeless guys on my street...
And to top it off, the cops took away my potato gun.
What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?
A dic-tater.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an authoritarian potato?
A dicktater.
Some people tell me that I'm too sweet to be a potato...
But I just can't help it, I yam what I yam.
Pie rates of the Caribbean joke
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
Potatoes For Everyone!
A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''
ESPN literally hired a potato for one of its broadcasts
When asked why they responded that they needed a common tater.
Why did everyone hate their potato overlord?
Because he was a dictator.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...
They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.
Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.
What do you call a lazy person who is nice?
A sweet potato.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a p**... shaped potato growing entirely above ground?
A rootless d**...-tater
A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest
"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.
"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.
"But there is no God" counters the official.
"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"
What do you call a potato that uploads videos?
A you-tuber.
Why did the potato drop his girlfriend?
She was hot.
Why did the potato die?
He had tuberculosis.
Here's a joke from the 80s
Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."
The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"
Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.
The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"
Mr Potato Head's wife is upset.
She claims he won't tater anywhere.
A man is with his friend at the beach.
His friend notices that the ladies can't stop staring in awe at the man, so afterwards, he asks about it.
Friend: What's your secret?
Man: I put a potato in my trunks. You should try it when we go tomorrow.
The next day, they go to the beach again, and the friend puts a potato in his trunks like the man said to. But the women run away screaming. The man notices this, looks at his friends trunks, and says: No you idiot! The potato goes in the front!
What do you call a potato that gets things done?
A facilitater.
Boy comes up to his father, all angry.
He says, "Dad, you remember how you told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks? How you said it would impress the girls?"
Father looks up, smiling, "Yeah, did it work?"
The boy screams, "You could have mentioned that the potato goes in the front!"
Went to the beach
When I was younger I was going to go the beach for the week. I ask my dad how I can meet girls? He tells me to put a potato in my pants and the girls will come to you! When I get home I go to my dad and tell him it didn't work at all. Every time I went in the water all the girls went out and when I would get out they would go in. My father then told me, Next time put the potato in the front!
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all on the run from the cops...
They find an abandoned potato factory and each hide in a huge brown sack. The cops arrive and kick the first sack. The redhead yells, "Woof! Woof"! to imitate a dog. The captain says, "Leave it be! We don't need some dog out here biting our ankles". A cop kicks the second sack, and the brunette says, "Meow!" The captain says, "Leave it be! I don't want some cat out here scratching our faces". A cop kicks the last sack, and the blonde says, "Potatoes!"
The first potato to go to space was carried by the rocket Nick
Or, well, Spudnick
Why shouldn't potato be a part of a square meal?
Because It's a root vegetable
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to increase your strength
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
—Beverly g**...
Presidential
Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.
Did you hear that Mrs. Potato Head was mad at her husband?
She caught him looking at corn
What do you get when you cross a president with a potato?
A dictator.
