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Potato Jokes

154 potato jokes and hilarious potato puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about potato that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is a collection of the funniest potato jokes from across the internet. Read through for puns about potato chip, potato famine, potato head, potato salad, potato love, potato spud, potato birthday, Latvia, potatoe, and fries. Get ready to tater it up with some of these hilarious puns!

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Funniest Potato Short Jokes

Short potato jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The potato humour may include short tomato jokes also.

  1. I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
  2. My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony? One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham
  3. I couldn't find the thingy that peels the potatoes and the carrots, so I asked the kids... Apparently she left me two days ago.
  4. These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".
  5. I was having dinner at my boss's house. His wife said "How many potatoes would you like?"
    I said "Just one please."
    She said "Oh come on, don't be so polite!"
    I said "Ok. Just one, you ugly cow."
  6. I've been trying to find an alarm clock made out of a potato... ...ever since I had a meeting with my boss about arriving late for work and he told me "Get a potato clock".
  7. Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
  8. Two cannibals sat around a campfire One turned to the other and said, "God, I hate my mother-in-law."
    His friend said, "Well then try the potatoes."
  9. Latvian Joke. What are one potato say other potato?
    Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
  10. What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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Potato One Liners

Which potato one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with potato? I can suggest the ones about tater and turnip.

  1. What do you call a reluctant potato? A hesitater
  2. What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
  3. How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man ? None.
  4. What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator.
  5. What's more Irish than potatoes? No potatoes.
  6. What do you call an indecisive potato? A HESI-TATER.
  7. I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato
  8. What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome? A baked potato.
  9. How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
  10. What do you call 2 potatoes that hate each other? Starch enemies
  11. What do you call a boat full of mean potatoes? A dictatorship
  12. Lost job and no money for buy potato.
    Also is cold.
    Regret immigrate to Detroit.
  13. Waiter! These potatoes taste powdery. Yes sir. We use only the finest ingredients.
  14. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  15. What do you call an authoritarian potato? A dicktater.

Potato Chips Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato chips jokes and even better potato chips puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Roses are red, potato chips are savory... The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
  • Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air.
  • what is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips? Sultan vinegar.
  • An aviation enthusiast enters a bar. He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."
  • What do couch potatoes evolve into? Computer chips.
  • What did the potato name his son? Chip.
    Sorry.
  • I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man cooking sliced potatoes in oil... I asked him I asked him Are you the friar?
    He replied No, I'm the chip monk...
  • How does a male potato chip mate with a female potato chip? He Lay's on her.
  • Why don't birds eat potato chips? Because it RUFFLES their feathers.
  • What do a bag of Lay's potato chips and the Milky Way have in common? They're both mostly empty space.

Potato Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato day jokes and even better potato day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the potato start vlogging his day-to-day life? He wanted to become a You Tuber.
  • I purchased a humble potato gun the other day. Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.
  • Latvian Christmas Christmas Eve father ask son what want christmas. Son say potato. Father say "Ok. Santa bring potato." Next day boy is learn Santa no exist.
  • What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day
  • How many potatoes How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
    None!
    Sorry, had to post this on St Patrick's Day, probably a repost, but screw it.
  • The founder of the Lays potato chip company came to Hawaii the other day. As a welcoming gift, we gave him leis.
  • Potato Today you ignore me because I'm a potato
    One day I'll french fries and you I'll craze for me
  • How many potatoes a day will make you fat? 00000
  • What do you call a s**... who sits around all day? A baked potato
Potato joke, What do you call a s**... who sits around all day?

Baked Potato Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked potato jokes and even better baked potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a baked sweet potato and a flying pig? One's a heated yam...
  • What did the twice-baked potato say upon being arrested? Foiled again!
  • Why couldn't the potato get off the couch? Because it was baked.
  • An evil baked potato hatched a devious scheme Fortunately, it was foiled.
  • Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today 6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!
  • What do you call a kid with down syndrome when he's high? A baked potato.[](/changeling)
  • What's the difference between a baked potato and pea soup? Anyone can bake a potato.
  • What do you call a potato from Colorado? A baked potato
  • I have some weeds in my potato garden That's OK, I was going to make baked potatoes anyway.
  • Why was the potato so hungry? It was baked.

Potato Sack Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato sack jokes and even better potato sack puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You teabag But Chuck Norris potato sacks
  • My wife is like a potato. She's thin-skinned, but always comes in the sack.
  • 2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the h**...? The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO
  • I hate being an adult in times like these, $5 used to get you 12 eggs, a bar of chocolate a massive bag of sweets, milk, a sack of potatoes, a bottle of v**...... Shame for cameras in stores...
  • The guy from the seed store is very s**... I asked Him for potato seeds and He gave Me a full sack of potatos instead.

Potato Chip Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato chip jokes and even better potato chip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Helicopter flavored potato chips? A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."
  • Breast implants are like potato chips. You can't have just one.
  • What style of potato chips does Santa Claus like best? Kringle Cut
  • Why does the tortilla chip always beat the potato chip in a debate? The tortilla chip has a point.
  • Why did the potato go to the chip factory? It was trying to get Lay-ed
  • So a man walks into a grocery store and asks the cashier if they have helicopter flavored potato chips. The cashier says, "sorry we only have plane." ✈️
  • What do you call a potato cutting Friar? A Chip Monk.
  • Potato Chip are like car company they are very good at making air bags.
  • Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is a very useful information.. If you're moving and you need help carrying a potato chip across town.
  • What's something that both an American and an Ethiopian can never have? Just one potato chip.
Potato joke, What's something that both an American and an Ethiopian can never have?

Gather Around for Heartwarming Potato Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about potato you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cabbage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make potato pranks.

Latvian man goes to buy iPhone..

Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish.

What's a 7 course meal for an Irishman?

A six-pack and a potato.

My Favorite Latvian Joke

One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man,
is secret police.

Latvian Joke

Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.

Latvian joke.

I tell Latvian joke:
Latvian man very hungry.
He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.
Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!
He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, s**... whole thing.
Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "
End from joke.

Latvian potato eating contest.

Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry.

Potatoes from Chernobyl

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."

Where does biggest potato grow?

Under the ground.

I want to start a potato chip company called "d**...'s."

Our motto would tell you to eat a bag of 'em.

Latvian Dreamin'

Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.

A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own g**....

Nobody likes dictators

The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies

Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.

What do you call a mean Potato?

A Dictator.

Joke from my daughter.

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!
no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

How do you tell the difference between a normal potato from a s**... potato?

The s**... one has the sticker that reads Idaho.

Potato Patch

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

Why did the sea monster eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around.

I was a dictator.

How do you treat Mrs. Potato Head when she has cancer?

Ampu-tater

What do you call a s**... Irishman?

A baked potato.

After robbing a bank, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead

duck into an alley where they hide in potato sacks. The cops first go to the sack with the brunette in it and kick it. The brunette says, "Meow." They go to the sack with the redhead and kick it. She says, "Woof, woof." Last, they kick the sack with the blonde, and she says, "Po-ta-to."

A mathematician goes into an insane asylum

He approaches a group of gentleman and asks:
How much is 9 minus 3?
First guy answers: "Potato."
Nope. I'm afraid that is incorrect. Anybody else?
"Tuesday." Replies a second.
Wrong again.
"Six!" Answers a third.
Ah! Very good. Tell me how did you figure that out?
"Simple! I just multiplied Tuesday and Potato and subtracted 83.

A mother has 3 kids

A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

I got arrested today for feeding the homeless guys on my street...

And to top it off, the cops took away my potato gun.

What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?

A dic-tater.

What do you call a p**... potato?

A dictator.

Pie rates of the Caribbean joke

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean

Potatoes For Everyone!

A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''

ESPN literally hired a potato for one of its broadcasts

When asked why they responded that they needed a common tater.

What do you call a spud that smokes w**...?

A baked potato

A farm worker greets Joseph Stalin at his potato farm

Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...

They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.
Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.

What do you call a potato with glasses?

A spec-tater

What do you call a fascist potato?

A dictater.

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the p**...?

It has a sticker that says IDAHO.
(I'll hide under a rock now)

What do you call a p**...-shaped potato with unchallenged power?

A d**...-tator.

Potato in bathing suit joke

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing! 
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

What do you call a p**... shaped potato growing entirely above ground?

A rootless d**...-tater

What do you call a potato that uploads videos?

A you-tuber.

If you see two potatoes standing on a street corner, how do you know which one is a p**...?

It'll have a sticker that says "Idaho"

Why did the sea monster eat twelve ships that were carrying potatoes?

Because nobody can eat just one potato ship!

Here's a joke from the 80s

Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."
The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"
Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the p**...?

It's the one with the sticker that says IDAHO

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato!

Whats the difference between a cooked sweet potato and a flying pig

One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham

A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.

The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"

Johnny wanted to impress the girls in his swimming class.

So he asked his dad what to do.
"Son, just put a potato in your pants, and you'll attract them all!" His dad advised.
The next day after practice, Johnny looked pretty gloomy.
His dad asked, "What's wrong? Did the advice I give you not work?"
"It would've," cried Johnny. "If you told me to put it in the FRONT!"

What do you call a potato that gets things done?

A facilitater.

What is the difference between hot potato and a flying pig?

One's a heated yam, and one's a yeeted ham.

Boy comes up to his father, all angry.

He says, "Dad, you remember how you told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks? How you said it would impress the girls?"
Father looks up, smiling, "Yeah, did it work?"
The boy screams, "You could have mentioned that the potato goes in the front!"

Went to the beach

When I was younger I was going to go the beach for the week. I ask my dad how I can meet girls? He tells me to put a potato in my pants and the girls will come to you! When I get home I go to my dad and tell him it didn't work at all. Every time I went in the water all the girls went out and when I would get out they would go in. My father then told me, Next time put the potato in the front!

Guy at the beach was surrounded by beautiful, h**... women. They couldn't keep their hands off of him! When he went to the bathroom, I walked up and asked his secret....he told me that he puts a potato in his swim trunks before coming to the beach.

So, the next day at the beach, I put a potato in my swim trunks but EVERYONE started to laugh at me!
The guy who told me his secret saw me and yelled:
No! Put it in the *FRONT* of your trunks!

Two potatoes stand on the street corner. How do you tell which one's the h**...?

It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho!

The first potato to go to space was carried by the rocket Nick

Or, well, Spudnick

Why shouldn't potato be a part of a square meal?

Because It's a root vegetable

How to increase your strength

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
—Beverly g**...

Presidential

Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.

Potato joke, Presidential

jokes about potato