Potato Farmer Jokes
28 potato farmer jokes and hilarious potato farmer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about potato farmer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Potato Farmer Short Jokes
Short potato farmer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The potato farmer humour may include short fruit farmer jokes also.
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
- Left my stressful job to be a farmer for fingerlings. Now all my problems are small potatoes.
- Here's for all the farmers out there. Why don't potatoes make good listeners? Because they always spud in!
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Potato Farmer One Liners
Which potato farmer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with potato farmer? I can suggest the ones about farmer and potato.
- Which potato speaks to the farmer on behalf of the other potatoes? The omspudsman
- What was the potato farmer's favourite musical instrument? The tuba
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Potato Farmer Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about potato farmer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chicken farmer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make potato farmer pranks.
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:
This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.
Ol' Russian joke
Comrade Stalin approaches a farmer and asks :
"Comrade, how many potatoes have we grown this season?"
"Enough to reach God, comrade!" Replied the farmer.
"But there is no God" said Stalin
"Ah, said the farmer, as there are no potatoes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:
"This year I'm unable to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if you were here you would've helped me."
His son replied: "You idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden guns there."
Pretty soon, the Police read the letter, and the very next day the ground was dug by the police, and searched for guns but nothing was found.
The son wrote again: "Now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here."
Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.
The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.
They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"
One of my favorite Reagan jokes:
A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.
Potatoes For Everyone!
A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''
A commissar goes to a collective farm...
... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."
Potatoes from Chernobyl
An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."
An old farmer writes his son...
An old farmer writes his son (who is in prison) a letter and he tells his son that he won't be planting potatoes this year because there is no way he can dig up the field by himself. His son writes back and tells his his dad that there's no way he can dig up the field cause that's where he hid all the money he stole. Well, the cops read that letter and the next day the cops sure dug up that field good and proper. The same day the cops got to digging, the son writes his dad again telling his dad to go ahead and plant his potatoes and that is the best he can do from in here.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Bulgarian are brag about sons.
My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want - say first
Bulgarian.
The second man says - My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!
Third Bulgarian wait long time, then say, - My son is die at birth. For
him, struggle is over.
Wow! You are win us - say others. But all are feel sad.
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest
"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.
"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.
"But there is no God" counters the official.
"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"
These Farmers got arrested!
Did you hear why the celery farmer got arrested?
For stalking
Did you hear about the hay farmer that got arrested?
He's out on bail
Did you hear about the root vegetable farmer that got arrested?
He beet up his friend with a potato and didn't carrot all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two potato farmers are in a field
One of them reaches down with both hands and pulls up two of the biggest potatoes they have ever scene. The other farmer says "Wow! Those potatoes look just like my b**...." "That big?" Asks the farmer. "No, just that dirty."
One day the commissar was inspecting a potato farm in the Soviet Union and asked the farmer how his yields were.
The farmer said Oh commissar, the potatoes are so bountiful that together they can reach the foot of God. The commissar stopped and said Have you forgotten your communist teachings!? There is no God! To which the farmer said Exactly, that's why there's no potatoes.
That's the spirit
A pastor goes to the local farmers market
There a boy is selling dam fish
The boy tells the pastor to buy some of his dam fish. The pastor calls him out on his language, but the boy explains that he caught the fish at the local dam. The pastor buys some me and goes home. When his family is having dinner he tells his wife to pass the dam fish. His son says that's the spirit dad now pass the fu!!ing potatoes.
Another blonde joke
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are hiding from a farmer in a barn.
The brunette hides in a horse stable.
The red head hides behind a cow.
And the blonde hides in a pile of potatoes.
As the farmer walks up to the stable the brunette says "neiiigh". He goes to the cows and the red head goes "mooo". The blonde hears this and as the farmer approaches her corner of the barn she says "potato potato potato"
A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison
A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison -
"I can't grow potatoes this year. I'm too old to be digging up the field."
Soon he gets a letter back from his son. -
"You can't dig in the field, that's where I buried the bodies!"
The next morning, people came from the police. They dug up the entire field but found nothing.
Soon the farmer gets another letter from his son. -
"Now Dad, you can grow potatoes. It was the best I could do from here."
A Soviet Russian food collector and a farmer
A Soviet official in charge of collecting food from farms goes to a local farm and is greatly warmly by the farmer.
After some light hearted conversation, the official says, "Anyways, I am here to collect the potatoes you have grown."
The farmer replies, "Oh, yes. This has been a marvelous year. We have grown so many potatoes, that if we put them all into a pile, it would reach the foot of God."
The official replies, "That is ridiculous. You know that in Soviet Russia, there is no God."
The farmer responds, "That is fine. We have no potatoes either."