The Best 48 Potat Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Potat jokes. There are some potat irish jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these potat favourite puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Potat Jokes and Puns

How does potato powered internet work?

Simple. It's a series of tubers.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?


Latvian joke.

I tell Latvian joke:

Latvian man very hungry.

He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.

Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!

He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, swallow whole thing.

Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "

End from joke.

Potat joke, Latvian joke.

Potatoes from Chernobyl

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."

Potato is like Soviet rape

Potato is like Soviet rape. Not come everyday, but fill you up when is come.

What did the potato name his son?



2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO

Potat joke, 2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

Potato Patch

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

How many potatos do you need to kill an Irishman?


Two potatoes are standing on the corner. How can you tell which one is the hooker?

The one with the sticker that says, "Idaho".

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

You can explore potat penis reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean potat potato dad jokes. There are also potat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two potatoes on a street corner

There's two potatoes on a street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? It's the one with the little sticker on it that says Idaho!

Potato Chip are like car company

they are very good at making air bags.

Mr. Potato Head just recently released a Donald Trump themed version of the classic toy.

They call it The Little Dick-tater.

Why do potatoes make great detectives?

Because they have eyes all over!

Potatoes For Everyone!

A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.

''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''

Potat joke, Potatoes For Everyone!

What do potatoes and passwords have in common?

To be any good they have to be hashed and salted.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man ?


How many potatoes does it take to kill half of Ireland?


Potato is spelt wrong.

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

If there are two potatoes on a street corner, which one is a prostitute?

The one that is stamped I da ho

How many potatoes

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?


Sorry, had to post this on St Patrick's Day, probably a repost, but screw it.

A potato asks a sweet potato

What's the deal with you being orange?

The sweet potato replies I yam what I yam.

There are two potatoes standing on the sidewalk. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

The one with the sticker Idaho.

How does a potato get rich?

He becomes a famous YouTUBER.

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It has a sticker that says IDAHO.

(I'll hide under a rock now)

Mr Potato

I ordered 'Mr Potato' online but he hasn't arrived yet. I can't wait so have been drawing diagrams of how I may assemble him. You could say I'm planning a head.

Why are potatoes better than your vision than carrots?

Because they start their life in an eye.

Potato in bathing suit joke

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing! 

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

They keep their eyes peeled...

If you see two potatoes standing on a street corner, how do you know which one is a prostitute?

It'll have a sticker that says "Idaho"

Why was the Potato fired from his job at the football stadium?

He was a horrible Commentater.

Why was the potato so hungry?

It was baked.

Potatos aren't very attractive

...until they've been with someone appealing for a while.

Why did the potato drop his girlfriend?

She was hot.

Why the potato was arrested while driving?

It's was baked.

Why did the potato die?

He had tuberculosis.

How did the potato get the dogs to be quiet?

By saying, "hush puppies!"

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the sticker that says IDAHO

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato!

A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.

The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.

The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.

The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"

Mr Potato Head's wife is upset.

She claims he won't tater anywhere.

Two potato farmers are in a field

One of them reaches down with both hands and pulls up two of the biggest potatoes they have ever scene. The other farmer says "Wow! Those potatoes look just like my balls." "That big?" Asks the farmer. "No, just that dirty."

How do potatoes get to space?

Using the starch ship enterfries

Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile?

In case Mr Onion Rings

Why did Mr. Potato Head's dry cleaning service go out of business?

He always used too much starch.

Two potatoes stand on the street corner. How do you tell which one's the hooker?

It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho!

The first potato to go to space was carried by the rocket Nick

Or, well, Spudnick

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the potat potatoes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working potat instrument piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes