The Best 47 Posting Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Posting jokes. There are some posting karma jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these posting downvoting puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Posting Jokes and Puns
I won't be posting any jokes over the next few days. I've got to revise for a practical exam in pest control.
I'll probably be up all night swatting.
Prison may be just one word
But to others, it's a whole sentence
Why is everyone criticising EA?
I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).
Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Is God Black or White?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?
*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people can know she was awesome.
Since We're Posting Jokes From Our Grandpas...
A twenty-something with a rainbow colored mohawk is sitting at a booth at a restaurant. After a while he realizes an old man sitting there staring at him. He goes back to eating but the old man is still staring at him. Eventually, he goes over and asks "look, can I help you?" and the old man says "well son, years ago I had sex with a parrot and I was wondering if you might be my son."
All the letters were having a discussion.
Suddenly they discovered letter T is absent. They called him up and T said, "wait I'm in the middle of something."
(Might be a stupid joke but I made it myself, hence posting)
What do they call an abortion in Hogwarts?
*fetus, deletus!*
^It's ^my ^first ^time ^posting ^here. ^Tell ^me ^if ^I ^did ^something ^wrong ^or ^if ^this ^is ^the ^wrong ^sub...
^And ^yes, ^I ^am ^a ^Muggle.
The worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?
It doesn't just happen the once.
And I'll be posting this again later.
If I remember.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
This is my 56th time posting this joke.
A man is kissing a tractor
A man is kissing and hugging a tractor
Another man goes up to him and says "what on earth are you doing to this tractor" the man replies explaining that him and his wife are having some marriage problems so a friend said that he should do some sexy thing to a tractor. (Attract her)
First time posting ever, sorry for any mistakes.
If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men?
Palm Sunday.
First time posting, please be gentle.
You can explore posting craigslist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean posting blog dad jokes. There are also posting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?
The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry.
What's the difference between a monkey flinging poo at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?
Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!
Isn't it funny how anti-vaxxer's children....
Always seem to get what their parents deserve?
I believe I made this up but I'm posting here to see if anyone else has heard anything similar.
[NSFW] What do you call a French suicide bomber?
Napoleon Blown-Apart
Posting from mobile and don't know how to tag nsfw
![Posting joke, [NSFW] What do you call a French suicide bomber?](/images/jokes/posting-jokes-what-do-you-get-if-you-mix-human-dna-and-whale-dna.jpg "Posting joke, [NSFW] What do you call a French suicide bomber?")
I saw a job posting for an Astronomer and it sounded pretty stress free.
I'd just do a bunch of light reading all day.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when erect."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
My girlfriend begged my to stop singing Wonderwall
I said okay because no guys I'm not posting this joke for the 674th time, god. Let's make something original please.
Hate speak, obscene photos, and narcissistic viewpoints caused me to get completely off of social media. [OC]
I found myself wasting too much time posting that stuff!
I would appreciate it if we stopped posting Holocaust Jokes. They're not funny, witty, or humorous. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust
He fell off the Guard Tower
I got banned from Instagram for posting food pictures
Apparently they only want to see the food "Before" you eat it, not "After"
C V
Sorry, I tried posting a joke but I lost control.
Why was Caitlyn Jenner chosen as the PTA treasurer?
Because posting read Must be trans parent.
How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They sit in the dark and cry while posting blank pictures to instagram
The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women's lingerie.
But no one would invest in Shatner Panties.
(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)
After seven years and half a million karma I will share the 5 unwritten rules of posting on this site:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Healthy German
What did the health conscious german say, when he entered Whole Foods?
Gluten Morgen
PS: First time posting an original.
What's a calendar's favorite treat?
Dates!
(My first time posting here, but I was snacking on dates and this came to my mind)
Guys we should stop posting jokes about Communism.
It's wrong until everyone gets it.
i uninstalled reddit to be less distracted and more productive with my time.
thats why im posting this from my browser now
As a proud family man, the amount of raunchy, tasteless, sexist and offensive jokes you perverts are posting in this sub is frankly disappointing
Is there a filter or flair so I can see only NSFW jokes so I don't have to scroll past all the clean jokes?
An archeologist was doing his job one day...
...when he uncovered an ancient-looking stone carving in the shape of the Arabic letter D . When his site manager saw this, he told the archeologist to put it back where he found it and to never dig up something like that again. The archeologist asked the site manager why.
He replied, I like the way you're working, but no dig a D.
I regret posting this already.
I accidentally filled the escort up with diesel
She died.
Posting my favourite Gary Delaney joke on my cake day.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!
The job posting said they were looking for a self-starter
so I called and told them I was hired.
A lot of people won't like me for posting this
This
Can we please stop posting chemistry jokes?
I keep seeing the same jokes reposted periodically.
My mom always said you've got to commit yourself to make it in this life.
Now I'm posting from the psychiatric ward. Tell momma I made it!
Why do people keep posting the same joke on here?
Because they're hoping people haven't Reddit already.
I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
[Posting cause randomly remembered it. Sorry if repost.] 2 friends were talking while having a drink together
Friend 1: my grandpa had a barnhouse so big, if you put a calf through one end, by the time it came out the other end it would be a full grown cow.
Friend 2: my grandpa had a bamboo so big he could move the clouds out of his way so he could see the moon and the stars at night.
Friend 1: You're bluffing. Where'd he even keep a bamboo that big?
Friend 2: In your grandpa's barnhouse.
"Post" and "Repost" were sitting on a wall. Post fell down. Who was left?
POST REMOVED: **Rule 2 Violation**
Please review the subreddit rules before posting again.
🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵
I just sang eight bars
Day two of posting soap puns for a week!
My son's joke, thought it was worth posting here
If Eminem was a dinosaur, what would be be?
A velocirapper
What soaps are used to keep men away?
Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
After my friend got COVID, he threw away all his soaps, shampoos and deodorants...
.
.
....because the doctor said he wouldn't smell anymore.
Day 5 of posting clean and soapy dad jokes for a week!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the posting original jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working posting shitpost piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.