Posting Jokes
91 posting jokes and hilarious posting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about posting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Posting Short Jokes
Short posting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The posting humour may include short posts jokes also.
- If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel - Why was my post removed Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over. - My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
- Why was my post removed? Can anyone tell me why my post was removed?
I'm a bit annoyed by this because my fence has fallen over. - I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them. You won't catch me doing that today.
- I asked my boss "what's the difference between your wife and tomorrow?" "I'm not coming in tomorrow"
Haven't seen this one here so if it's been posted before I'm sorry - I've posted 9 puns here in this sub but none of them got upvoted. If this one doesn't either, then... ...no pun in ten did
- What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind . - Most of the posts here are medium. They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.
Share These Posting Jokes With Friends
Posting One Liners
Which posting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with posting? I can suggest the ones about paste and post it.
- I'm getting laid tonight. I wish I could have posted this in any other sub.
- I finally got someone to be my valentine! I wish I could post this in any other sub.
- Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
- What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? Banned from of Seaworld
- Roses are red, reposting is lame, [this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
- Why should you always post jokes in American English? They can reach a wider audience.
- I kissed a girl today. Wish I could post this in another sub some day.
- What do you call a rapper that smells nice? Post Cologne
- What language does the post office at Hogwarts speak? Parceltongue
- If you're outdoors you can skip this post It's just an inside joke
- Why don't women work at the post office? It's a mail dominated industry.
- Did you know if you rearrange all the letters in Post Office They get really annoyed
- What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette.
- Do you guys remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
- I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
Posting Picture Jokes
Here is a list of funny posting picture jokes and even better posting picture puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
- My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear. She has post traumatic dress disorder.
- I got banned from Instagram for posting food pictures Apparently they only want to see the food "Before" you eat it, not "After"
- How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They sit in the dark and cry while posting blank pictures to instagram
- If a white girl goes to starbucks and doesn't post a picture on instagram, did she really go to starbucks at all?
- I was gonna post a joke about a bad artist but it really doesnt paint a pretty picture
- I like to steal pictures of people's breakfast and post them again I guess you could say I'm a cereal reposter
- I uploaded a picture of a walnut but people complained that it was too blurry. Now I have to deal with the nut post clarity.
- Babies are like new tattoos They are yours forever, but you should probably hold off posting pictures for a bit until they aren't raw and weird looking anymore.
- What's the difference between meal prepping and eating left overs? About 30 seconds that it takes to post a picture of it on Facebook
Hilarious Posting Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about posting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean published jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make posting pranks.
I won't be posting any jokes over the next few days. I've got to revise for a practical exam in pest control.
I'll probably be up all night swatting.
Why is everyone criticising EA?
I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).
Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Is God Black or White?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?
*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people can know she was awesome.
Since We're Posting Jokes From Our Grandpas...
A twenty-something with a rainbow colored mohawk is sitting at a booth at a restaurant. After a while he realizes an old man sitting there staring at him. He goes back to eating but the old man is still staring at him. Eventually, he goes over and asks "look, can I help you?" and the old man says "well son, years ago I had s**... with a parrot and I was wondering if you might be my son."
All the letters were having a discussion.
Suddenly they discovered letter T is absent. They called him up and T said, "wait I'm in the middle of something."
(Might be a s**... joke but I made it myself, hence posting)
What do they call an abortion in Hogwarts?
*fetus, deletus!*
^It's ^my ^first ^time ^posting ^here. ^Tell ^me ^if ^I ^did ^something ^wrong ^or ^if ^this ^is ^the ^wrong ^sub...
^And ^yes, ^I ^am ^a ^Muggle.
The worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?
It doesn't just happen the once.
And I'll be posting this again later.
If I remember.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
This is my 56th time posting this joke.
Why was the ink happy?
Because it had its in-de-pen-dance.
I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.
A man is kissing a tractor
A man is kissing and hugging a tractor
Another man goes up to him and says "what on earth are you doing to this tractor" the man replies explaining that him and his wife are having some marriage problems so a friend said that he should do some s**... thing to a tractor. (Attract her)
First time posting ever, sorry for any mistakes.
If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men?
Palm Sunday.
First time posting, please be gentle.
To the people who will be posting 9/11 jokes this month:
Please don't do it. Making jokes about 9/11 is just **plane** wrong.
~~dontkillmeforthis~~
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?
The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry.
What's the difference between a monkey flinging p**... at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?
Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.
I thought about posting a riddle to challenge everyone mentally
But most of you seem mentally challenged already.
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!
Isn't it funny how anti-vaxxer's children....
Always seem to get what their parents deserve?
I believe I made this up but I'm posting here to see if anyone else has heard anything similar.
Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?
I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).
Why did the horseman Pestilence, take his horse to the vet?
Because it was disease ridden.
Side note: I tried posting this awhile back and worded it badly, its original though i made it up while watching Supernatural.
I saw a job posting for an Astronomer and it sounded pretty stress free.
I'd just do a bunch of light reading all day.
I really hate posting in forums when trying to troubleshoot a tech problem
person 1: Having the same problem please fix
person 2: same pls halp
person 3: same someone please find solution
person 4: doesnt work for me either
person 5: yeah please solve
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when e**...."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
Article on the future of L.A. rapper "Post Malone" was withdrawn from print by local mail service.
Or;
Post on post-Post Malone's career and goals was postponed from posting by postal service.
My girlfriend begged my to stop singing Wonderwall
I said okay because no guys I'm not posting this joke for the 674th time, god. Let's make something original please.
Hate speak, obscene photos, and narcissistic viewpoints caused me to get completely off of social media. [OC]
I found myself wasting too much time posting that stuff!
I would appreciate it if we stopped posting Holocaust Jokes. They're not funny, witty, or humorous. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust
He fell off the Guard Tower
I'm posting telepathically today.
If you think it's funny, that's me.
Posting OC before bed is like waiting for the tooth fairy
You're always disappointed when you wake up
C V
Sorry, I tried posting a joke but I lost control.
I recently found out a bunch of people I know have been lying about being only children.
They keep posting things about standing with their black brothers and sisters.
This is some very old university graffitti that's probably forgotten by now, so I'm posting it
Descartes: to be is to do
Nietzsche: to do is to be
Sinatra: do be do be do
Why was Caitlyn Jenner chosen as the PTA treasurer?
Because posting read Must be trans parent.
Posting on Reddit is like fencing
You must always have a quick repost.
The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women's l**....
But no one would invest in Shatner p**....
(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)
After seven years and half a million karma I will share the 5 unwritten rules of posting on this site:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Healthy German
What did the health conscious german say, when he entered Whole Foods?
Gluten Morgen
PS: First time posting an original.
What's a calendar's favorite treat?
Dates!
(My first time posting here, but I was snacking on dates and this came to my mind)
Guys we should stop posting jokes about Communism.
It's wrong until everyone gets it.
i uninstalled reddit to be less distracted and more productive with my time.
thats why im posting this from my browser now
An archeologist was doing his job one day...
...when he uncovered an ancient-looking stone carving in the shape of the Arabic letter D . When his site manager saw this, he told the archeologist to put it back where he found it and to never dig up something like that again. The archeologist asked the site manager why.
He replied, I like the way you're working, but no dig a D.
I regret posting this already.
I accidentally filled the e**... up with diesel
She died.
Posting my favourite Gary Delaney joke on my cake day.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!
The job posting said they were looking for a self-starter
so I called and told them I was hired.
A lot of people won't like me for posting this
This
Everyone is posting photos of people from the 1910's wearing masks to protect themselves from the Spanish flu to try and convince people to wear masks now...
Idiots. If masks work, then why are all those people in the pictures dead?
Can we please stop posting chemistry jokes?
I keep seeing the same jokes reposted periodically.
My mom always said you've got to commit yourself to make it in this life.
Now I'm posting from the psychiatric ward. Tell momma I made it!
This just in, female basketball players were s**... frustrated at the crowd...
...it turns out, the crowd left before they could even finish.
NOTE: First time posting here and I'm not a fun person. This just popped into my mind so bear with me.
Why do people keep posting the same joke on here?
Because they're hoping people haven't Reddit already.
I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
[Posting cause randomly remembered it. Sorry if repost.] 2 friends were talking while having a drink together
Friend 1: my grandpa had a barnhouse so big, if you put a calf through one end, by the time it came out the other end it would be a full grown cow.
Friend 2: my grandpa had a bamboo so big he could move the clouds out of his way so he could see the moon and the stars at night.
Friend 1: You're bluffing. Where'd he even keep a bamboo that big?
Friend 2: In your grandpa's barnhouse.
"Post" and "Repost" were sitting on a wall. Post fell down. Who was left?
POST REMOVED: **Rule 2 Violation**
Please review the subreddit rules before posting again.
🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵
I just sang eight bars
Day two of posting soap puns for a week!
My son's joke, thought it was worth posting here
If Eminem was a dinosaur, what would be be?
A velocirapper
What soaps are used to keep men away?
Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
After my friend got COVID, he threw away all his soaps, shampoos and deodorants...
.
.
....because the doctor said he wouldn't smell anymore.
Day 5 of posting clean and soapy dad jokes for a week!
What if...
What if you were being held at gunpoint by a literate animal (bear with me), and your only hope of escaping (BEAR WITH ME) was by posting a coded message
A sad first attempt at a joke
(It's my first time posting here. Don't blame me for the terrible joke lol)
A lawyer just lost a career making/breaking case so Satan sees this as an opportunity to approach him and make him an offer.
Satan: I will make you the most successful lawyer in history. You will never lose a case again. You will be famous. You will be wealthy beyond your wildest imagination.
Lawyer: What's the catch?
Satan: I want the souls of your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your children and all your future descendants for d**... in h**... for all eternity.
Lawyer: Okay, but what's the catch?
I felt a little bad about posting a joke about the Amish
Oh well, it's not like they'll ever read it.
I thought about posting this joke about mirrors
but I just can't see myself telling it
Before you go around posting He has risen
Remember to add spoiler alert.
Some of us haven't read the book yet.
I wish parents would stop posting videos of their sick kids on instagram.
Kids shouldn't be online influenzas
