Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning. |
How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?Take your foot off his head. |
I asked my boss "what's the difference between your wife and tomorrow?""I'm not coming in tomorrow" |
i went to the liquor store on my bike.i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home |
Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week |
What must you have if you want to crash a train?A loco motive. |
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage." |
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"...and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week," said the divorce court judge. |
There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .Yet I see the same jokes posted every day. |
What has 2 wings and 1 Arrow ?A Chinese telephone |