Top 10 posted Jokes

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

👍🏼

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

👍🏼

How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

**

👍🏼

If you masturbate after smoking marijuana....

Is it high-jacking or weed-whacking?

👍🏼

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.......

I will keep you posted.

👍🏼

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"

...and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week," said the divorce court judge.

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband replied, "and every now and then I'll try and send her a few bucks myself."

👍🏼

A woman was desperate for finding a boyfriend...

So she decided to put a Newspaper Classified with her address saying this:

"I'm looking for a man who loves me, a man who doesn't hit me, one that won't run away from me and that pleassures me in bed."

The next day her doorbell rang and there was a man with no arms and no legs waiting outside. When she opened he said "Im here for the ad you posted yesterday"

The woman laughed and said "What makes you think you can make me happy?"

The man aswered. "As you can see, I have no arms so i will never hit you. Also I have no legs so I will never run away from you"

"And what about sex?" Said the woman.

"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

👍🏼

I had posted this on Clean Jokes, just thought you guys would appreciate it.

So, The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar
It was tense.

👍🏼

A joke my Dad made up (says lots bout Dad): A philosopher and a nudist are at a beach resort...

The philosopher asks the nudist, "have you read marx? And the nudist replies, "why, yes! But I think it's the wicker chairs."

👍🏼

A little girl says to her mother "mommy, I hate daddy's guts!"

Her mother replies "shut up and keep eating."

Sorry if this has been posted already, a teacher of mine told my class this and i had to share!

👍🏼