post Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious post stories

What are the best post puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Post? Well here is a complete list of the top post jokes:

I finally got someone to be my valentine!

I wish I could post this in any other sub.

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As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself...

maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.

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I'll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day!

Almost on Monday

Almost on Tuesday

Almost on Wednesday

Almost on Thursday

Almost on Friday

Almost on Saturday

Almost on Sunday.!

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The only person that keeps me from commiting suicide

is that guy instantly upvoting anything I post.

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they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

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To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

..I will find you. You have my Word.

---

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If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality...

I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.

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I had posted this on Clean Jokes, just thought you guys would appreciate it.

So, The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar
It was tense.

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Guys get PMS too...

Post Masturbation Syndrome. It's the 15 minutes after masturbating where you question what life is and what you just did.

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Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.

Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"

Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

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Since we're posting dirty limericks now.....

There once was a man from St. Lou

Who gave his dear sister a screw.

He said with aplomb:

"You're better than Mom."

Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."

-----

Told to me by /u/hasseth

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I just thought of a good Casey Anthony joke...

but if I post it my mom would kill me.

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Did I ever post my Alzheimer's joke?

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A woman smiling

Not my joke but wanted to post it here. A bit dry but I find it funny.

At a bar a woman keeps smiling at a man. Finally the man walk over to her.
Man: I would like to ask you to come over to my place.
Woman: Are you trying to pick me up?
Man: No. I'm a dentist.

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The US post office announced today that they'll be releasing a new stamp commemorating prostitution.

It's a ten cent stamp, but if you wanna lick it, it's a quarter.

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What begins with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters in it?

Post Office

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A man was hiking in a forest when he sees a big post...

"this is the gaymen forest".. he thinks it's a joke and moves on. As he walks, he sees more and more posts that say "this is the gaymen forest" and that get smaller and smaller. At a certain point, he sees a tiny post, close to the ground. He bends over to read it and sees "It's too late now, buddy! Told ya !"

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Nerdy Yo Momma Jokes

Post your best nerdy yo momma joke.

I'll start: Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a KFC that was out of chicken.

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But you can.

Not every flower can bloom, but a rose can. Not every plant can survive without rain, but a cactus can. And not every retard can read, but look at you! Go little buddy go!

(sorry if repost, first post on this sub)

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Cake day post: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

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What starts with "P" ends with "E" and has hundreds of letters in it?

Post office.

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I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

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How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

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Famous Last Words

Post your own. I'll start-

"Nah, thats not a dragon"

"And it looks like clear skies over Hiroshima today"

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After years of hard work after college, I finally paid back my student loans.

I wish I can post this in a different sub.

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Post Jokes About Americans

As an American, I've heard a lot about other countries. I recently heard one about Americans and it's got me wondering what else is out there. The Joke:


An American walks into a London pub.

A local notices and says, "Oi, look! An American! You know, if there's one thing I like about you Americans, it's your ability to appreciate irony!"

To which the American says, "Hey, thanks!"

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Where do Grammar Nazis get put on trial?

You're*-emburg




^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...



**

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Death Jokes for a homework assignment?

I'm taking a psychology of death and dying class, and one of the assignments is to dig up some jokes about death, dead people, dying, etc. Whatever you post here will probably make it into my paper. Anything you can think of will help and I'll probably end up laughing my ass off reading through here.

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I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this.

When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...

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So my wife walked in on me blowdrying my crotch...

And asked me what I was doing.

"Just warming up breakfast for you, honey."

First post, hope I'm doing this right.

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Yeah, I am one of those people who've had milk with whiskey.

My mother used to drink a lot post pregnancy.

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browsing craigslist

Saw a post for a hot water heater for sale. I responded and asked if it worked on cold water as well.

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Post the worst joke you can think on the fly.

I'll start:

What happened when the Pillsbury Doughboy's girlfriend was left out too long?

He had a stalemate.

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Version of previous post.

One of the patrons at a bar opened a bag of potato chips and gave it to the bartender's dog. When the dog ate the contents of the bag, he lay down and started grooming his genitals. A guy says to his friend ''I wish I could do that.'' The friend replies ''Well give him a chip and maybe he will let you.''

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First post: unconditional love test

Lock your wife/husband in the trunk of your car for an hour, then your dog. Guess who's still happy to see you...

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Post your original made up joke.

No old jokes you've already posted. Here's mine:

How did the Asian porn-star become president?

By Generar Erection!

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Can anyone tell me....

If I posted the joke about Alzheimers? I can't remember if I did.

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So excited to go and watch 'the Evil Dead' next week. Anyone else going to Thatcher's funeral?

Bring 'em on! Post em all here.

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I won't be posting any jokes over the next few days. I've got to revise for a practical exam in pest control.

I'll probably be up all night swatting.

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An elderly Jewish sage walks into the post office and hands the clerk a thick envelope to mail.

The clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, buy this envelope is too heavy. You'll need to put another stamp on it."

"Vaht, and you think adding another stamp vill make it any lighter?"

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my reaction to every post here

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How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto?

It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.

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Jokes for drinking, when censorship doesn't matter..... I'll start.

Post your jokes, The ones you share with your mates who don't give a toss about all the PC carry on these days. The ones that truly make you laugh when your having a beer or two.

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There's no such thing as a funny joke about white people...prove me wrong

I am equal opportunity when it comes to dirty and offensive jokes. Black jokes, Asian jokes whatever, I think they're funny. However, I have never actually found a white people joke that I've actually really, truly laughed at. Please post your best white people joke. Show me funny ones do exist.

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Can anyone please post some good accountant jokes? Meeting with one tomorrow.

Can anyone please post some good accountant jokes? Meeting with one tomorrow.

Thanks

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I asked a city dweller "Do you know where the post office is?"

He said, "Yes," and kept right on walking.

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Girls who post about girl's problem are great.

But girls who post about environment problems are Greta
(Official repost)

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in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry

(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

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Stamping out intolerance

A woman walks into the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.


What denomination? asks the shop assistant.


Oh, good heavens. Have we really come to this? says the woman. I guess I'll take 50 Catholic and 50 Anglican.

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I honor of World AIDS Day post your best AIDS jokes.

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best post jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about post. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty post gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these post jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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