The Best 71 Possibly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Possibly jokes. There are some possibly somber jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these possibly potentially puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Possibly Jokes and Puns

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?

A young Jewish boy asks his father if he can borrow $50...

His father replies: "40 dollars!, what could you possibly need to borrow 30 dollars for?!?"

A doctor and his patient.

A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news .

Oh dear, what's the bad news? asks the patient.

The doctor replies, You only have 24 hours to live.

That's terrible , said the patient. How can the news possibly be worse?

The doctor replies, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.  

Possibly joke, A doctor and his patient.

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks would never quite scan.

When told this was so,

He said, "Yes, I know...

It's because I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"

- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.


"I have bad news and very bad news"

said the doctor to his patient.

"Give me the bad news first, doc."

"You have 24 hours to live."

"Oh my god, that's terrible. What news could possibly be worse than that?"

"I tried calling you yesterday but there was no answer"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.

"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.

"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.

"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.

They debated until the train came and hit them.

Possibly joke, A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

What is the best "white people" joke you know (possibly NSFW)

I can't recall ever hearing any white people jokes. Anyone have any?

I am extremely offended by the song "God is Dead" by Black Sabbath. How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

...when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

The blinds store

So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of illegal activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.

I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...

...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)

...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.

...50% alcohol.

...all over my genitals while I'm trying to drive.

...I don't like coffee.

...imported from micronesia.

...free, fresh and in the breakroom.

...huge and cheap with room for cream.

...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.

...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)

...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.

You can explore possibly possibility reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean possibly hypotheticals dad jokes. There are also possibly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man finds a genie who claims to be all-knowing...

The genie says the man may ask him one question, about anything he could possibly imagine, and he will answer truthfully.
The man, amazed, replies, "wow, and you'll know the correct answer to literally any question I ask?"
The genie answers, "yes." And disappears.

Irish wedding vs. Irish funeral (Possibly offensive? Naah...)

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

Irish Catholics [and possibly some Jews] will appreciate this one

Q; How many Irish Catholic Mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A; Ahhh, don't you worry about that son, you just go out with your fancy women while I sit here home alone in the dark.

A guy asks for a tattoo on his........

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.

He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."

A man's dog dies

A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.

The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."

The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"

Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."

Possibly joke, A man's dog dies

I truly love children!

But I couldn't possibly eat two.

So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch...

...and then I thought, "wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would".

Someone asked me if I smoked

I said sodium Bromate

Cuz NaBrO

_______________________________________________

Hope you liked my joke! Let me know if you think you've seen it before. I thought I came up with it but these Jokes are common and I'm not clever enough so I possibly read it somewhere

Either way hope you liked it!


One day, the President finds a nasty message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.

He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.

"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."

"What's the bad news?"

"The urine belongs to the Vice President."

"What could possibly be worse than that?"

"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."

A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...

During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty.
Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!"
The judge replied: "Temporary insanity".
To which the prosecutor exclaimed: "All 12 of them?"

Doctor Appointment

**Doctor**: I have bad news and worse news; the bad news, you only have 24 hours left to live.

**Guy**: Oh no, how can the other news possibly be worse?

**Doctor**: Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.

Did anyone else see that 60 Minutes interview with Monica Lewinsky last night?

She said she wasn't very happy about possibly having another Clinton in the White House. That the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.

Me: Hey, can I have an Iphone 7 please?

Apple guy: Possibly... What's your name?
Me: Jack
Apple guy: Sorry, no jacks.

*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked

The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.

"How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"

Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.

Last time I went for an eye exam, the doctor said to me, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."

When I asked him why that could possibly be necessary, he said
"Because I'm trying to give you an eye exam."

A reporter is interviewing a 110-year-old man

... And asks him his secret to longevity. "It's simple," the man replies, "I never argue with anyone, so I have no stress in my life."

The reporter laughs it off: "That's ridiculous. That can't possibly be the reason."

The man shrugs and says, "Yeah, you're probably right."

A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.

The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.

The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.

The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a pint. Just then, a fly drops in each of their Guinness.

The Englishman says: "How dreadful. Barkeep, take this pint back at once, I couldn't possibly touch it, it has a fly in it!"

The Scotsman says: "Ach, it's nae so bad!" and flicks the fly out with the back of his hand and chugs his beer.

The Irishman gingerly picks up the fly by the wing, gives the fly a little wiggle and says: "You spit that out! You spit that out!"

In Soviet Russia, pessimist says "things couldn't possibly possibly get any worse"...

Russian optimist says "Yes they can!!!"

Soviet pessimists and optimists

Soviet pessimist say "Ilya, things couldn't possibly get any worse"

Soviet optimist, with a big grin, says "Yes they can Sasha"

There once was a poet named Stan...

...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

I asked a group of women to describe their husbands using a soft drink [possibly NSFW]

The first said, "Mtn Dew, because he's always ready to mount 'n' do me"

The second said, "7up, because it may only be seven inches but it's always up"

The third said, "Jack Daniels"
I said, "But that's a hard liquor"
She relied, "Yes, and so is he"

A patient visits his doctor to receive his test results.

The doctor tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John."

"Oh dear," John replies. "What's the bad news?"

"You only have 24 hours to live."

"That's terrible.... How can the news possibly be worse?"

"Your phone was off yesterday"

How Many Democrats Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb

Two. One to explain that they are doing all they possibly can to fix the problem, and another to screw it into the faucet.

Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

Jewish kid: Hey dad can I borrow $50?

Dad: What $40, what would you possibly need $30 for?

A paralyzed man says to his friend, Go upstairs and get my shoes. My feet are cold

The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.

He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.

One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!

The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?

The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!

A mathematician was found not-guilty of murdering his wife

even though his fingerprints were found on the murder-weapon.

The judge had to let him go because of the mathematician's argument which stated that "As I am the 'prime' suspect of the murder, I can't possibly be the 'one' to kill her".

How can they possibly put out the fires near Athens..????

Everyone knows not to throw water onto a Greece fire

A guy using Apple maps walks into a bar

...or maybe a hospital....or possibly a church

[Possibly OC] How excited was Wendy to go to Neverland?

She was so excited that she nearly Peter Pans.

[Possibly OC] What do you get when you cross a bird with a vegetable?

Asparrowgus

(Possibly OC) There once was a car with a wooden body, wooden tyres and even a wooden engine.

It just wooden go.

I tried ventriloquism once but everyone thought I was crazy.

Possibly because I forgot to bring my dummy.

Guy goes to see his doctor

Doctor - I've got some bad news and some worse news.

Guy - Oh no...well, tell me the bad news first.

Doctor - You have cancer.

Guy - Oh my God! Well, what could possibly be worse than that?

Doctor - You also have Alzheimer's.

Guy - Well, at least I don't have cancer.

Old lady on the bus

she hands the bus driver some peanuts, to which he says "thank you" and eats them all.

Few moments later she hands him some more peanuts. This time he says "oh no thank you, why don't you eat them". Old lady replies " oh i couldn't possibly do that, I have no teeth you see".

"That's a bit odd, why do you buy them if you can't eat them?" Driver says.

Old lady replies "I only like the chocolate coating"

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

After the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft, this team's fans didnt think things could possibly get any worse...

...And here's the kicker...

The planet earth can't possibly be flat.

If it was cats would have pushed everything not nailed down off the edge.

Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to hell.

When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!

The Virgin Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"

"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."

A girl was studying French, and doing very well at it.

One day, she asked her teacher Do you know anything about Spanish? For I know everything there is to know about French, and I need a new language.

The teacher responded What a sudden change! And why would you possibly ask me, your French teacher? This was completely unexpected!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.

That's bullshit. A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.

My wife pulled into the driveway and excitedly told me "Honey, you'll never guess who I ran into at the protest today!"

I said I couldn't possibly guess, who?

"I don't know either, we'll have to watch the news to find out. Now please help me hose the blood off our truck!"

Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy....

Either way, the silver bullets work.

Your honour, i'm not a robot

How could i possibly be charged with battery?

Seeking 1 night stand

Possibly two since I have two lamps

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and possibly use a lubricant.

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die

I just realized that since my hair is thinning, my scalp may shine through in photographs depending on the lighting, and possibly blind the photographer.

Just some random reflections off the top of my head. Thanks for listening.

Television is bad for the eyes , a teacher says.

Jimmy: Yes, and also bad for the legs.

Teacher: Legs?

Jimmy: My brother Timmy has bad legs from our television.

Teacher: Jimmy, how can your brother possibly have bad legs from his television?

Jimmy: He dropped it on his foot!

A spy has infiltrated an enemy military base in search of illegal weapons. His coordinates for the expected weapons are a little off and he ends up in the ventilation shaft above the toilets. Command contacts him and asks if he's found anything incriminating yet.

He replies hastily.. Well, possibly something biological and I don't see any missiles but.. I C BMs.

A teacher was teaching her class about whales.

She said that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being as even though it was a gigantic animal, its stomach was very small. A little girl put up her hand and said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher insisted that a whale couldn't possibly swallow a human. The little girl said, When I get to Heaven, I'll ask Jonah.

The teacher replied, What if Jonah went to Hell?

The girl said: Then you ask him.

Doctor: I have bad news and worse news for you

Patient: What is the bad news?

Doctor: You only have 24 hours to live.

Patient: What can possibly be worse news than that?

Doctor: I should have told you this yesterday...

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

(Possibly offensive joke?)

Not a single adult gets my school shooter jokes. I guess they're aimed at kids.

Bad eye sight (Possibly a repost but I didn't want to keep scrolling past page 30276 to confirm)

Patient: doctor i think my eye sight is deteriorating. I cant see very far


Doctor: really? come over to the window. Now what is that big round yellow thing in the sky?


Patient: well that's the sun


Doctor: yep! so how much further do you want to see

A man was taken to court by several people for spreading scandalous rumors about their sex lives

The judge asked the man, "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Well your honor," responded the man. "I grew up on a very small land mass in the ocean and its just a part of our culture."

Not satisfied, the judge asked, "What culture could you possibly belong to that would lead you to besmirch these good people's reputations?"


The man shrugged and responded, "Islander."


(this just came to me)

A Blonde went to buy a Pizza, Chef asked her, would you like it cut into 4 or 8 slices.?

Blonde replied, 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the possibly sincere jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working possibly telegram piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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