The Best 19 Positives Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Positives jokes. There are some positives naysayer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these positives hiv puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Positives Jokes and Puns

Boss perv

I sit at work today drinking Coke, doing some stuff with Excel tables when suddenly my boss puts his hand into my pants, jerks me off, and then goes back to his previous work like nothing happened. Being self employed has its positives.

Double Positives.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives

He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."

A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".

Positives joke, An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives

English Professor: "While two negatives can mean a positive, in the English language there are no two positives that connote a negative."

From back of class: "Yea. Right!"

A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...

She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "


An English teacher is giving a lesson about double negatives and how they turn positive. The teacher then states that there are no double positives that make a negative statement.

A student in the back says "yeah, right".

Even 9/11 had its positives...

My house climbed 2 spots in the world's tallest building ranks.

Positives joke, Even 9/11 had its positives...

My friend said he was worried he had HIV.

I said think about the positives.

A math teacher was lecturing his students about double negatives and positives. He explained that a negative and a negative make a positive and that a positive and negative always make a negative. He also stated that two positives will never make a negative.

A student shouted sarcastically Yeah, right!

Double positives

One day, during a lesson at the community college, the professor is explaining how a double negative will always be positive but a double positive can never be negative.

To which his student replies "yeah right"

I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives.

Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you.

You can explore positives comprehend reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean positives disappointments dad jokes. There are also positives puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Sometimes you need to look for the small positives in life.

Like a midget with HIV.

So this dude's giving a lecture

about how two negatives can make a positive but two positives can't make a negative, when a voice from the lecture hall shouts:

"Yeah, Yeah!"

I always look to the positives in life.

For example, sure I may have been rejected from the girl of my dreams, but at least I'm another day closer to my death.

An english professor said to his students there is no way to use two positives to express a negative

One student smirked to his friend "Yeah right."

Double negatives are positives

Ain't nothin' right about that.

Positives joke, Double negatives are positives

My teacher told me two negatives make a positive..but two positives never make a negative

_yeah right_

They say two positives don't make a negative...

Yeah right!

A Zwitterion walks into a bar...

A Zwitterion walks into a bar.

The bartender asks him about his job.

The Zwitterion says, "Eh, there's some positives and negatives about it".


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the positives optimist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working positives optimistic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes