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Positive Covid Jokes

45 positive covid jokes and hilarious positive covid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about positive covid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Positive Covid Short Jokes

Short positive covid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The positive covid humour may include short negative covid test jokes also.

  1. Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
  2. I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83... On the plus side my IQ test came back positive
  3. I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive
  4. Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.
    >!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!<
  5. I got my Covid test results back today. It said "50"... what does that even mean?!
    Also, my IQ test came back positive.
    I'm so confused.
  6. Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19. Looks like RBG won her first case before God.
  7. President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19 Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.
  8. I no longer need to wear a mask Now that I have my COVID 19 positive shirt people juts avoid being near me
  9. After all this time, I still haven't tested positive for Covid… …wouldn't it be funny if it was just because I wasn't sticking the swab far enough into my ear?
  10. Did you hear Stephen Miller's wife tested positive for COVID? It turns out swallowing vampire is as dangerous as eating bat.

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Positive Covid One Liners

Which positive covid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with positive covid? I can suggest the ones about caught covid and covid 19.

  1. I got kicked out of the hospital because I told the Covid patients to stay positive
  2. I was kicked out of the COVID ward... because I told them to stay positive.
  3. Kellyanne Conway did not test positive for Covid-19 She tested alternative-negative
  4. Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19. The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
  5. I got kicked out of a hospital after saying to a Covid-19 patient.. Stay positive
  6. What's one thing that turned out positive in 2020? I'll go first: My COVID test.
  7. Giuliani tested positive for covid-19. Looks like he finally won a case!
  8. What's the worst thing to say to a COVID-19 patient? Stay positive.
  9. Covid quarantines were so toxic. We isolated all the positive people.
  10. Covid? Sure! But not Covid positive..
  11. My least favorite s**... position is COVID-69 The masks really take the sensation away.

Positive Covid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about positive covid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean covid test jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make positive covid pranks.

Got accosted by a bunch of guys proclaiming the end is nigh…

First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a s**...'s cough and the last one had a sore t**...…
I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.

Trump got COVID...

Well my wife and I don't see eye to eye politically. One was happy, the other worried... you understand. So after much debate, we came to a compromise: we sent him a get well soon card that said stay positive.

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

In nearly 4 years, finally something positive has finally come out of the White House

Covid-19 tests

I don't understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I'm coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I'm sure my test came back negative.

I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.

I have always thought of myself as a positive person.

Now thanks to COVID-19 I have proof!

My friend has tested positive for Covid.

She said that she caught it off of her Cat.
Don't ask "Meow."

Wife got COVID through me

She said "Finally after 15 years of marriage, you're spreading positivity".

Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus

Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. This brought NBA to a halt. On Monday, he had joked about the virus by touching microphones.

They say there's power in positivity...

...my grandmother's covid test results say otherwise

Got kicked out of the COVID ward today!

Don't really know why?!
I just told those guys to stay positive!

A man tests positive for Covid, h**..., and monkey pox after trip to Spain.

When asked how his luck could be so bad he said it's contagious

Yesterday my COVID test result was declared

I Got 12 . I also got my IQ test result today morning and it is POSITiVE.

TIL people with type A negative blood are more likely to become sick from COVID-19

I guess you gotta B positive during these rough times