Posh Jokes
24 posh jokes and hilarious posh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about posh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best of British posh, with these hilarious jokes only a posh boy, posh person, or someone who has attended a posh school, dined at a posh restaurant, or tasted posh food would understand! From the snobby tones of the Ritz, to the elvish haughtiness of the upper classes, these posh jokes will have you laughing and begging for more.
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Funniest Posh Short Jokes
Short posh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The posh humour may include short classy jokes also.
- Scientists recently discovered the source of the quark... It's the sound made by a posh duck.
- What do david beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates have in common? They both come in a posh box
- When i was little, i had an obsession with Posh Spice. Which cost my mom a fortune in saffron.
- It looks like Sean "Spicy" Spicer has been replaced with Anthony "Scary" Scaramucci I wonder who the next replacement will be "Sporty", "Baby", "Ginger" or "Posh"
- When I was young, I used to have an obsession with Posh Spice Which cost my mum a fortune in saffron
- A new Hipster wing was unveiled in the museum off Third and Posh streets. I found it to be a tad highbrah for my tastes.
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Posh One Liners
Which posh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with posh? I can suggest the ones about prestigious and tipsy.
- I went to a posh school. In fact it was so posh, their gym was called James.
- Where do all the posh communists shop? Marx & Spencer
- What do you call a posh girl's abortion? An Eton mess.
- You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.
- Height of poshness... Using laundered condoms
- The SS are releasing a hip hop album to raise money for the dyslexic Pish Posh
Laughter Posh Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about posh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fancy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make posh pranks.
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A p**... drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...
When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.
He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"
The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"
The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:
"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel......
When they get there, one girl suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid s**... by the fireside, a girl turned to her new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best s**... I've had in years! I wonder how the guys are doing?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian joke
Dave returned to Snake Gully after a brief trip to Europe. Dad said, 'Reckon you saw a lot of mighty fine things in that Europe.'
'Sure did, Dad. Cathedrals, palaces, mansions. But what impressed me most were the dunnies. They sure have got terrific dunnies. And they all flush.'
'Well, son,' said Dad, 'reckon you ought to build yourself one of those posh dunnies. But you'll have to get rid of the old s**... first."
'Nothing to it, Dad.' Dave took out a hand grenade that he happened to have on him, pulled out the pin and threw it at the s**....
Dad's a slow thinker and a slow mover. After a while he said, 'I don't reckon you should have done that, son.'
Out of the debris staggered Mum. She lurched up to Dad and said, 'Reckon it must have been something i ate.'
Two woman riding in an elevator in a very lavish and posh building..,,
when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, Romance by Ralph Lauren, at $180.Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, Chanel No. 5, at $220. When they got to the third floor, the old woman had reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.Before she leaves, she looks at both beautiful women in the eye,Farts, and then says… Heinz Baked beans … $1.50
A drunken cowboy...
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat.
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.
Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, all right buddy what's your name?
Fred, the cowboy moaned.
Where ya from, Fred? asked the Ranger..
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, the balcony…
Saving all the seats
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre.
When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy: Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager.
The cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."
