Portuguese Jokes
42 portuguese jokes and hilarious portuguese puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about portuguese that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Portuguese jokes. From clever puns to silly one-liners, these jokes are sure to get you smiling.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Portuguese Short Jokes
Short portuguese jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The portuguese humour may include short translated jokes also.
- A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German.
- What a do a bunch of people in Brazil speak? Portuguese. What does just one Brazilian speak? Portugoose.
- A French man, a German, a Portuguese man and a Swede are all sitting in a bar. Normally there's also a Belgian in this joke but he's still at the Euro cup…
- One of my friends went up to my Portuguese dad.... and asked "You're Portuguese, right?" He said "No, I'm Portugoose. There's is only one of me"
- Why are there no Portuguese cruise lines in Africa? They're not falling for that twice!
- The difference What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?
One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea. - I have a friend who's half Portuguese and half Jewish He's a janitor, but the building is his.
- What do you call a person from Portugal? Portuguese.
What do you call a person from Portugal that hangs out in a pub with a pint in his hand on a match day?
Portugeezer. - Mel is the Portuguese for "Honey" But addressing Mr Gibson as that, just seems to make him angry.
- How many Portuguese does it take to colonize an Empire? a brazillian
thanks folks, i'll be here all Monday.
Share These Portuguese Jokes With Friends
Portuguese One Liners
Which portuguese one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with portuguese? I can suggest the ones about and .
- A Portuguese, a Greek, and a Spaniard go into a brothel. Who pays? Germany.
- Why did the Portuguese guy take Xanax? Hispanic attacks.
- What language do Brazilian Geese speak? Portuguese
- What do you call a Portuguese that's by himself? A Portugoose
- A Spanish, Greek and Portuguese man go to a bar. Who pays for the drinks? The German!
- How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter? A Brazilian
- How do you say dive in Portuguese? Neymar
- What did the Spanish guy say to the Portuguese guy he didn't know? Por que geez?
- How many people speak Portuguese in South America? Right around a Brazillion
- TIFU by buying a film with Portuguese closed captions Oops wrong sub
- Which nationality of geese has the best cars? The Portuguese.
^(porsche geese) - What happens when a Portuguese person needs instructions on something he sees manual
- What will you soon need to have a Nandos in the UK? Portuguese visa.
- Bom Dia means good morning in Portuguese Apparently it also means bomb him in Indonesian
- I just took a Portuguese shower It was delicious
Spanish Portuguese Jokes
Here is a list of funny spanish portuguese jokes and even better spanish portuguese puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There Are A Few Ways of Expressing Laughter in Type. American: hahahaha
Brazillian portuguese: huehuehuehue
Japanese: wwwww
Korean: kekekeke
Mexicans & Spanish: jajajajaja
Thai: 555555 - Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Portuguese Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about portuguese you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make portuguese pranks.
Bob was struggling in the bedroom because he couldn't last as long as his wife.
He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help.
But it didn't.
Then he tried learning German.
That didn't help either.
He tried Spanish, Portuguese, even Sweedish. Nothing worked.
Finally, he gave up. "It doesn't matter what language I learn," he said to his wife. "They all have one thing in common."
"What's that?" She asked.
"D comes before V."
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
This is a portuguese joke so idk how well it will be in English but...
A man orders rice and beans in a restaurant. When his meal comes he notices a little fiber in his food and tells the waiter. The waiter then explains theres nothing to worry about, its just from the sack of beans. However the man still insists on getting another plate. The waiter, complying, yells out to the chef "yo beans, make another plate".
Someone rings at the bell in the middle of the night
He goes downstairs, opens the door and finds a man with a menacing look who says:
- I traveled all the way from Tunisia and I'm here to kill you!
- TO WHAT?!
- Tunisia
(I believe the original is in Portuguese or Spanish and the man comes from Paraguai but I think you all deserve to hear this good joke)
17 years ago, on 20 Dec 1999, a Portuguese farmer was reading the newspaper before tending to his fields and work
His wife walks in the door and quickly glances at the newspaper. "Honey," she says, "We lost one of our animals."
The farmer says nothing.
She asks him, "Where's Macau?"
An Englishman, and Irishman...
, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Scot, a Mexican, an, African, a Portuguese, a Swede, a German, and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
I'm sorry, says the maître'D, But you can't come in here without a Thai.
What's a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?
A porto p**....
What is the only appropriate to slap a Portuguese woman in the mouth?
When her mustache is on fire.
