Portrait Jokes
50 portrait jokes and hilarious portrait puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about portrait that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Everyone loves a good laugh when posing for family photos! Discover the funny side of being in front of the camera with this collection of portrait jokes. Get ready to strike a pose and share a smile! From the portrayal in a gallery to the candid shots on a beach, explore the world of photography with these light-hearted jokes.
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Funniest Portrait Short Jokes
Short portrait jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The portrait humour may include short picture jokes also.
- A gruff looking guy approached me on the street saying he can draw my portrait for $2 It sounds sketchy
- People say there are no advantages to being ugly But conveniently, my portraits just hang themselves.
- I went up to this girl and asked if she could take a picture of me, and she said yes. So I handed her a framed portrait of me and walked away.
- I recently hired a landscape gardener He said he couldn't help me as my garden was portrait.
- My Indian gf blocked a portrait of us on the dresser with a Ganesh trinket. I told her we have to address the elephant in the room.
- Landscape Gardeners I've been trying to get someone to redo my garden, but i'm not having much luck.
I've found several landscape gardeners, but mine is portrait. - I hired a landscape gardener... But he said he couldn't help me because my garden was portrait.
- Asked a Landscape gardener for a quote They said they couldn't help me as my garden was portrait
- My friend's birthday My friend ordered a cake with his own portrait as icing for his birthday and then ate it all without sharing with anyone
I guess he's so full of himself - Why didn't George Washington want his portrait on US currency? Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."
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Portrait One Liners
Which portrait one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with portrait? I can suggest the ones about photo and profile.
- What do you call an orphan taking a selfie? Family portrait.
- Yo momma so ugly .. Her portraits hang themselves
- Yo mama Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
- I tried to be a self-portrait painter. But in the end it just wasn't me.
- Obama portrait joke You’ll note that he refused to hide any of my gray hairs
- What do you call a ghost in a painting? A portrait-geist.
- I made a portrait of a depressed person and gifted it to them. They hanged it too.
- What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait? 2B or not 2B?
- Who painted Ghengis Khan's portrait? A Khan artist.
- Why was the portrait taken to jail? Because it was framed!
- Did you hear about the self-portrait scandal? Turns out, he was framed.
- Why do portraits hate the judicial system? They always get framed
- I don't mean to brag But I once painted a self portrait of someone else.
- Maybe he was born artistic, Or maybe it's just a por-trait.
- Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall.
Family Portrait Jokes
Here is a list of funny family portrait jokes and even better family portrait puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you take a Mexican family portrait? Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.
- What is a Jewish boy on a pile of ash? A family portrait.
- Yo mama so fat Every photo from family gathering is her self-portrait.
Uproarious Portrait Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about portrait you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pics jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make portrait pranks.
A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...
"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
A jewel
Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things.
True enough, said Mrs. Whembleton. If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!
h**... asked his portrait
"What's going to happen to me when the war is over?" h**... asked
"We're going to switch places" replied the portrait.
"How so?"
"They're going to take me down and hang you up."
The Portrait
A bartender notices a man sitting at the bar looking at a photograph while taking a drink from time to time. The bartender then goes away for a bit. He comes back and notices the man is still doing this. The bartender asks "Why have you been staring at the photograph this long." "Well," said the man, "It is my wife and when she starts to look better then it is time to go home."
A man and his wife are in an art museum and come across....
A portrait of a beautiful woman covered only in leaves. Wife goes to move on to the next exhibit and husband is still there staring at the portrait she asks what are you waiting for?
Husband says... Fall
Vampires are actually very successful artists with a common flaw...
Whenever they are doing a face portrait they always stop below the chin...
Whenever they are sketching a figure they always stop at the top of the shoulders....
But this is cuz they s**... at necks.
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
This week President Obama became the first president to get a life-size 3D-printed portrait done.
It looked so real that Joe Biden argued with it for 20 minutes that Peeta is better than Gale.
Biden then realized his mistake, . . . and admitted Gale is the clear choice.
I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu
I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist
At the exact moment when my grandfather died, a portrait of him fell of the wall.
It hit him on the head, killing him instantly.
