Porsche Jokes

82 porsche jokes and hilarious porsche puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about porsche that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover hilarious Porsche jokes that poke fun at Porsche drivers, the Porsche 911, Porsche Cayenne, Porsche 944 and Porsche owners. Get a good laugh by comparing the Porsche to luxury cars like Lamborghini and Audi and Volkswagen.

Quick Jump To

jokes about porsche

Best Short Porsche Jokes

Short porsche puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The porsche humour may include short corvette jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a honda and a Porsche? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a Honda
  2. On my way for the latest Porsche presentation.. the airport officials requested the purpose of my flight.
    I wrote down "I'm here for the newest 911".
    Best regards from Guantanamo.
  3. Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars.
    Son: Thanks dad.
    Dad: You're welcomed, young boy.
  4. What's the difference between a soprano and a porsche? Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche
  5. People keep telling me that I have no idea what it's like to have no roof above my head I don't think so, I really like the new Porsche convertible.
  6. What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche? Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.
  7. If you had to choose between a long lasting relationship and 10 million dollars What color would your Porsche be ?
  8. If you had to choose between Bill Gates' money and world peace... ...what colour should your porsche be?
  9. What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage
  10. What is the difference between a Porsche and my friends daughter? I've never been in my friends daughter.
Porsche joke, What is the difference between a Porsche and my friends daughter?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about porsche can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of porsche puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Porsche One Liners

Which porsche one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with porsche? I can suggest the ones about porsche 911 and bumper.

  1. Having friends is like having a Porsche... I'd really like to have a Porsche.
  2. What language do Porsche drivers speak? Porschuguese
  3. What comes standard with every German house? A front porsche
  4. What do Porsche and Apple have in common? New product, same design.
  5. What is red and can't climb trees? Paul Walker's Porsche
  6. What is a terrorists favorite car? a Porsche 911
  7. What does Porsche do? Ellen.
  8. Whats a Muslim's favourite car? A porsche 9/11
  9. Which nationality of geese has the best cars? The Portuguese.
    ^(porsche geese)
  10. Why can the Tesla cybertruck go faster than a Porsche 911? It renders faster
  11. Why does a Porsche have long arms? So it can wrap around the tree
  12. I was gonna roast paul walker But i figured porsche beat me too it
  13. What did the doctor say to the car that was giving birth? Porsche.
  14. What do you get when you make a condiment out of an expensive car? Porsche-tchesire sauce
  15. I bought a Porsche 911 but I regret it now... ... It was in catastrophic condition.

Porsche 911 Jokes

Here is a list of funny porsche 911 jokes and even better porsche 911 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a Porsche 911 and the smallest possible forest have in common? They're both 2 cedars (seaters).
  • So Porsche released a Jewish Car... The Yom KiPorsche, since the Muslims already had the Porsche 911
  • Did you hear about the insomniac car-enthusiast conspiracy theorist? He stayed up all night debating whether Porsche did 911.
  • What do an elephant and a Porsche 911 have in common? They both have their trunks in the front.
  • What kind of car does George W. Bush drive? Porsche 9-11
  • Apparently the Bin Laden plane hit a Porsche, it's 911 all over again.
  • What is a t**...'s favorite sports car? Porsche 9/11
  • What is o**... Bin Laden's favourite car? Porsche **911**

Porsche Cayenne Jokes

Here is a list of funny porsche cayenne jokes and even better porsche cayenne puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • True Story Today in the grocery store parking lot I saw a Porsche Cayenne Turbo towing a horse trailer. All I could think was it's amazing what some people will do to get a little more Horse Power.
Porsche joke, True Story

Amusing Porsche Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about porsche you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dealership jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make porsche prank.

Three men were discussing the presents they gave their wives...

Guy 1: I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 4 seconds
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: A brand new Porsche 911
Guy 2: Well I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 3.2 seconds
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: A brand new Ferrari
Guy 3: That's nothing I gave my wife a present that goes from 0-250 in 2 seconds
Guy 2: Wow what?
Guy 3: A weight scale

Be wary of the chore of painting . . .

A man was looking for a person to paint her porch, so he hired a young lady and told her what to do.
After about 30 minutes, the lady came to the door and said, I'm done.
The man asked, How did you get done so fast?
The lady said, It was hard at first, but it got easier towards the end. And by the way, it's a Ferrarri not a Porsche.

A man is driving his car when suddenly the door of a parked car is swung open in front of him.

He proceeds to smash into the door of the car, ripping it off. He stops to see another man, in a very expensive suit, jump out of the car and scream at him "you just ripped the door off my lovely Porsche!".
The first man says "You are so didn't even notice that you left arm was ripped off in the accident".
The second man looks down for a second, then screams "my Rolex!"

3 women were discussing their s**... lives..

The first one said-"My husband is like a h**...; big, strong and rock hard."
The second says-"My husband is like a Porsche; smooth, sleek and fast."
They look at the third one to speak up. She pauses for a second, and then says-"Mine's like an old Chevy.. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while its still going."

What's the difference between a dead h**... and a Porsche? (Not what you think)

I've never been inside a Porsche.

Discussion between husband & wife

Wife : Everyday you spend 5 bucks on a pack of cigarettes. In a month, you would be spending 150 bucks right?
Husband : yes....and?
Wife : In a year, you would have spend $1800 and you have been smoking for 20 years. If you didn't smoke, you would be driving a Porsche by now.
Husband : how about you? Do you smoke?
Wife : Are you crazy? No! I don't!
Husband : And where is your Porsche?

At my first Weight Watchers meeting....

the group leader asked each of us why we wanted to lose weight. When it was her turn, one woman started to s**.... "I vowed to lose weight when my husband bought me something too small for me to fit in." The leader replied, "Oh, that's too bad. Was it a dress?" "No, a Porsche!"

A lawyer opens his car door on the side of the road

as a car flies past and takes off his door. Stunned, he quickly looks around and spots a police officer nearby. "Officer, you saw that guy just hit my brand new Porsche, you have to do something!" The officer can't believe what he is seeing and shakily replies, "Sir, how can you lawyers be so materialistic? Do you not realize that your entire left arm is also missing?" The lawyer quickly looks at his left arm and yells, "No, my Rolex!"

A joke I've picked up from working in Higher Education.

At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and c**... into oncoming traffic. It's a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims...
"Oh the Humanities!"

Whats the difference between a porsche and an e**...?

I dont have a porsche.
(Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

A young man was looking for work...

He comes across an old lady's house and asks if she has any work for him.
The lady says, "Actually I do need someone to paint the porch."
After some time the boy returns and says, "I've finished painting, but you should know it's a BMW not a Porsche."

An man goes to the optometrist

Dr. Li sits him down and begins to go through a full eye exam.
"Oh, no" the doctor says. "I think you have a cataract".
"Nah, Doc" the man replies. "I drive a Porsche"

Three men are talking at work the day after Christmas

It wasn't long before one of them starts bragging. "I bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in only 6 seconds!"
"What is it?" The others ask.
"A brand new Mercedes!"
"Ha, but I've bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in only 3 seconds!" Said one of the others.
"What is it?" The first guy asks.
"A brand new Porsche!"
"You guys are pathetic." Said the third guy. "The present I've bought goes from 0 to 100 in half a second!"
"A scale."

Gambling in Vegas

My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.
I thought "nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle.
A Greyhound bus.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

I realized prostitutes name themselves after exotic cars like Porsche or Ferrari because they're "the sexiest ride you'll ever have"...

So my p**... name would be "Teacups."

A guy looking for work

A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.

The lawyer is painting his house, and a hobo comes around and asked if he could do something or in a few dollars.

The lawyer says, "sure, take a can of paint and go around to the back of the house and paint my porch."
The hobo does this and 15 minutes later comes back and says he's finished. The lawyer says, "already?" And the hobo says," yeah, but it isn't a Porsche, it's a Mercedes!"

A poor man goes to a rich person's house and says that he will do anything for $100

The man tells him: If you repaint my porch, I will give you $100
3 hours later, the poor man says that he is finished.
Seeing no paint on his porch, the rich man says: I'm not paying you, you didn't do anything
The poor man replied: Yeah I did, but it's not a Porsche, it's a Mercedes

Arrested at the airport

I'm a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model
When i landed in New York the TSA asked me are you here for business or pleasure
I responded I'm here for the new 911

What does a Porsche and my s**... life have in common?

I don't have either.

Three wishes

Walking along the beach, a man finds a bottle. He rubs it and instantly, a genie appears.
I'll grant you three wishes, the genie says. There's just one condition. I'm a lawyer's genie, so for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the same thing, only double.
After thinking a moment, the man says, For my first wish, I would like $10 million.
Lawyers will get $20 million, the genie reminds him.
What else do you want?
I'd love to have a red Porsche, he says. Instantly, the car appears on the beach.
What's your last wish?
Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney.


s**... is like a Porsche. My parents won't buy me either one.

A wife wants a fancy Porsche for her fiftieth birthday

She drops hints to her husband:
"You know we've had a really good year, heck, good decade, fiscally. For my birthday, I'm really hoping for something sleek, maybe baby blue. Something you can really step on and it'll go from 0 to 200 in like .2 seconds..."
The husband nods knowingly. So for her birthday, he buys her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...

The sheriff of a small Texan town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 60 miles per hour in a 30-mile an hour zone.

The man behind the wheel, a San Francisco law associate, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me. This town must be the a**... of the world!"
There was a five second pause as the magistrate looked at him. Then he asked, "You just passing through?"

My boss showed up this morning in a new Porsche. I said, "what an amazing car"...

And he replied, "yeah - if you work really hard, put lots of hours in and strive for excellence at all times, I should be able to get another one next year".

My boss pulled up to work in a brand new Porsche.

I told him, Wow! That's a sick ride.
He replied, Hey, if you work hard for this company, put all your hours in and make stellar sales, I'll buy another next year.

An Arab Sheikh sends his son to France for his studies. A year later the son comes back but the Sheikh realises that something is bothering his son. After some questioning, the son tells his father that he goes to college in his Porsche but the other students come by train. It's not right.

The Sheikh feels terrible, hugs his son and says, 'Don't worry son... I'll buy you a train today!'

George W. Bush's brand new Porsche is delivered to his home.

Upon inspecting it he turns to the delivery man and says, "Now lookie here son, there seems to be some sort of a mistake. This appears to be the 718. I ordered 911."


There were three guys that died and went to heaven.
The first went up and then God said, "You have committed adultery so you shall own a bike."
The second guy comes up and God says, "You have almost committed adultery so you shall own a motorcycle."
The third guy goes up and then God says, "You have only thought about adultery so you shall get a Porsche!"
The first guy comes up to the man in the Porsche and starts Laughing and the man in the Porsche asks, "Why are you laughing? You only got a bike!"
The guy on the bike says, "I just saw your wife on a skateboard!"

a gorgeous blond jumped out of her Porsche at an intersection and began shouting at me as our cars had touched ...

"Just ram me up the a**... why don't you" she shouted...
...And that Your Honour is where the confusion began. ..

Porsche joke, a gorgeous blond jumped out of her Porsche at an intersection and began shouting at me as our cars h

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these porsche jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.