Pornhub Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint?

She released the video on pornhub.

(Too soon?)

I tried uploading my sex tape to PornHub.

They told me to try Vine.

PornHub removed my sex tape

They told me to try Vine

What's the biggest difference between Google and Pornhub?

I'm willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Pornhub.

My professor called me into his office.

"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."

"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"

He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"

"Dave69 on Pornhub."

Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.

New sex technique

A man and his wife are in bed and things start to heat up. After a little bit of foreplay the man suddenly stops. His wife asks "What's wrong? Is it me?" The man replies " No I learned this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

Ever since I got Pornhub Premium local women in my area haven't been interested in me.

Help what do I do?

No pornhub, I don't want to play online poker.

I'm at work.

I must have a huge family.

Whenever I click related on PornHub is all people I've never seen before.

Roses are red, Violets are blue...

Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

Skyrim guards and Pornhub share a similar rule

No Loli Gagging

Why are incest videos so popular on PornHub right now?

Because West Virginia finally got internet access.

What do you trust more than the government?

The ads on Pornhub telling me girls within 3 miles of my location want to hook up.

Which is the better deal, YouTube Red or PornHub Premium?

PornHub Premium; you get far more bang for your buck.

If pornhub has taught me anything...

It's how to have a good father-daughter relationship

*Remade post cause spelling error in title was killing me*

What section on Pornhub do people from Alabama go to the most?


I noticed that youtube video thumbnails now play an animated gif when you hover over them.

When i noticed this, i was laying in bed with my conservative, traditional girlfriend, but without thinking, i say out-loud, "Oh, youtube finally caught up to pornhub with that awesome feature."

My girlfriend: What?
Me: What?

I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub...

... but PornHub said they don't accept rape.

So PornHub recently revealed what people all over the world were searching most frequently; finally answering a question I've always asked...

What is this world coming to!?

We just found out that my grandfather left all his money to Pornhub.

Apparently it was there for him during the hard times.

Pornhub was sued a few months ago by xhamster

The trial was long and hard, but ended with a hung jury

Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

Why is pornhub so busy today?

Because it's erection day!

Writing "no hookups" on Tinder is like

going to PornHub for the ads.

A study has revealed that curvy hips indicate smart women who deliver intelligent children.

So that's what my son's been looking for on PornHub, a smart woman.

It's ridiculous that Pornhub has a share button for Google+.

I mean, why would I ever let anyone know I have a Google+ account.

Since the crash, I haven't been able to use my hand properly.

Hopefully Pornhub will be up and working again soon.

I was standing just next to Aj1t Pa1 when he was using Tor Browser ...

I peeked at his PornHub account and his username was AJ1T_3.14Inches

I asked an atheist "How do you view homosexuality?"

He replied "Mostly on pornhub"

I searched for 'wardrobe malfunction' on pornhub and it showed me a video about Narnia

This is a bad one

I was once at a party. After some time I noticed that I lost my watch. I was looking for it everywhere. I finally saw it laying on the floor on the other side of the room. When I got there, I witnessed how some guy stepped on it, while harassing a girl. Filled with rage I went up to him and punched him on the nose. No one treats a girl like that. Not on my watch!

P.s.: not mine I found it in the comments on pornhub

Roses are red, violets are blue

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I don't have a Valentine

But PornHub will do

I tried uploading Eminems response to MGK on pornhub

But it doesn't allow rape

I saw an ad for a php developer at Pornhub the other day

It was really attractive but I don't know if I could bring myself to admit before my friends and family that I do php

I thought I'd surprise my new girlfriend after a recent movie talk we had. So, tonight when she came over, I had a Pornhub movie with a prostitute scenario on. She saw it, told me to never talk to her again, and stormed out.

I am starting to think she told me she likes horror movies ...


During sex I suddenly stopped, my girlfried asked why.

Shhh i said, i saw this on pornhub, its called buffering!

Pornhub now makes you view an ad before you can watch your video.

Is this what the world is coming to?

"Why are you single?", She asked.

"I have Pornhub premium, He replied

Found an old video I used to watch on pornhub

It was a blast from the past

Welcome to PornHub!

We will be looking forward to you hard at work here!

Pornhub: "We've lost 20% of our traffic last week."

Yeah, sorry, I was travelling.

What does a PornHub developer get deducted from their pay?



tells me there are hot singles in my area, ready to date me. Tinder is the exact opposite of that. There are hot singles, yet none of them want date me.

I tried to upload the COD: Infinite warfare trailer to pornhub

But they don't accept rape.

A recruiter asked me if I wanted to be a hardcore developer

I said sure, I've always wanted to work for PornHub

Roses are red, Voilets are blue

Pornhub is down
Your facebook will do

I tried to upload the Brazil vs Germany game to pornhub...

But they removed it for rape

Nothing says you're in the Christmas spirit

quite like searching 'Christmas' on Pornhub.

What do Julius Caesar and Pornhub have in common?

Caesar started the group penetration trend.

My wife asked me why I suddenly froze in one position during sex.

I said: "It's a new move I learned from PornHub. It's called 'buffering'."

Pornhub is better than Youporn

Hands down.

Pornhub is the most stable website.

It can handle the biggest load.

I showed my grandad how to use YouTube and he was blown away. He was like, "I never would've imagined seeing something like this in my lifetime"

It took everything in me not to show him Pornhub.

Why does pornhub run faster than Netflix?

Because speed throttling is there kink.

I tried uploading the Brazil v Germany game to pornhub...

But it was reported and removed after being flagged as rape

Pornhub has banned submissions of the Germany-Brazil game.

They don't allow rape videos.

What are the funniest pornhub jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Pornhub? Well, here are the best Pornhub puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Pornhub pick up lines to share with friends.

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