Pork Jokes

Funniest Pork Short Jokes

Short pork jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pork humour may include short swine jokes also.

1. WARNING: There's an email going round... ...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.
   If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.
   It's spam!
2. I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice
3. China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.
4. She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular." I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
5. What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?
   Kermit the Frog's Finger!!
6. So i stole this joke from I Love Lucy, So a woman walks into a restaurant The woman says to the waiter, "Two pork chops, and make them lean." And the waiter says, "Yes, ma'am. Which way?"
7. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.
8. What did Tommy Wiseau say to his wife when she was making pulled pork? You're tearing meat apart Lisa!
9. Pork, eh? A Canadian guy walked into the kitchen and saw his Mexican roommate having dinner, so he said to him, "pork, eh?" And the the roommate said, "porque me gusta."
10. Roast beef and pork are both pulled from the oven The pork says to the beef, "we meat again".
    (Courtesy of my 8 year old)

Share These Pork Jokes With Friends

Pork One Liners

Which pork one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pork? I can suggest the ones about bacon and meat.

1. My butcher is very rude I asked him for a cut of pork and he gave me the cold shoulder
2. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop.
3. I know Muslims can't eat pork. Islam ok though?
4. What do you call a small pork farm? ... a hamlet.
5. what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork
   Ill show^myself^out
6. What do you get when you play tug of war with a pig? Pulled pork.
7. Why should you eat pork sausage on February 2nd? Because it is ground hog day.
8. What do you call canned pork laced with Ritalin? Short Attention Spam
9. Did you hear about the kid that got a skin graft from a pig? Pork kid
10. I'm a fan of Star Wars. So at lunch I saved my pork for last so I could have Ham Solo.
11. What do you call a pig with a torn hamstring? Pulled Pork!
12. What do you call a pig in an elevator? A pork lift
13. Old but gold What is green and smells like pork?
    Kermit the frog's middle finger
14. What is the ultimate Jewish conflict? Pork chops at half price
15. What do you call the crossover between a pig and a dinosaur? Jurassic Pork

No Pork Jokes

Here is a list of funny no pork jokes and even better no pork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I had a Cuban sandwich for lunch today Just tasted like pork
• Kermit Doesn't Always Eat Pork But when he does, he makes her shower first.
• What do you call a pig with a fork? Pork
• I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan. I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.
• Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb and then she had some pork
• Pork shoulder meat, ham meat, salt, water, preservatives. Sorry, that was spam.
• I was buying bacon and condoms at Walmart with my wife The cashier gave us a funny look. My wife says, We just wanna be safe when we pork.
• Why doesn't Louis C.K. grill by himself? Because he likes it when people watch him pull his pork.
• What do you get when you cross BBQ'ed pork with a gigantic sea monster? Release the Kracklen!
• What's a sausage makers favourite band? Linkin Pork

Pulled Pork Jokes

Here is a list of funny pulled pork jokes and even better pulled pork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a pig on a leash? Pulled Pork
• What do you call a pig who just nutted? Pulled pork
• What is David Cameron's favourite food? Pulled pork
• Pigs If you toss off a pig, does that make it pulled pork?
• TIFU by handing a pulled pork sandwich to my Muslim friend. drat, wrong sub!
• What Do You Call A Fat Girl Doing Yoga? Pulled pork.

Pork Chop Jokes

Here is a list of funny pork chop jokes and even better pork chop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Pork Chop Most people are confused when I tell them that me and my dad had a falling out over him cutting up my little Pork Chop.
  I guess that they don't understand the bond between man and dog.
• What's Kevin Bacon favourite meal? Pork Chops
• Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?"
  Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?"
  Customer: "No, I can’t."
  Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
• Why did the farmer name his pig "pork Chop" Because 'Bacon' was already taken.
• What did Kermit eat after he got divorced? Pork Chops

Beef Pork Jokes

Here is a list of funny beef pork jokes and even better beef pork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Everything we eat always seems to taste like chicken, beef or pork, except for snake. That always tastes like my ex.
• "You don't value animals," a vegan protested to me. "You only eat them." "You're wrong," I replied. "My favourite animals are beef and pork."
• What do you call smoked beef and pork sausage when you drop it? Bologna

Cheerful Fun Pork Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about pork you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean poultry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pork pranks.