Porch Jokes
136 porch jokes and hilarious porch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about porch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with family and friends with these hilarious porch jokes! Whether you are gathering around a porch swing in the backyard or lounging in a doorway, these jokes will have your whole house shaking with laughter. Perfect for warm summer evenings or anytime you need a good laugh.
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Funniest Porch Short Jokes
Short porch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The porch humour may include short patio jokes also.
- My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
*Sips coffee out of bowl* - How do you know when there's a lead singer on your porch? They can't find the right key and don't know when to come in.
- Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch... One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs." - A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine... The wife says, I love you.
The husband says, Is that you or the wine talking?
The wife replies, It's me, talking to the wine. - Old Man sitting on his porch a kid walks by dragging a heavy steal chain. The old man say, Hey Kid why are you dragging that chain around ?
The kid says, Have you ever tried to push one - (Thought of this tonight) I saw my cat go under the porch. I thought it might give birth. Then it became a parent.
- A man and a woman are sitting on a porch drinking a beer. The man says "I love you."
The woman says "Is that you or the beer talking?"
The man replies "That's me talking to the beer!" - My wife is in the house singing. I'm sitting on the front porch so the neighbors don't think I'm hitting her
- I woke up this morning and was surprised to find a huge box of LEGO blocks sitting on my front porch. I have no idea what to make of it.
- Had a friend that loves to lay on my front porch in front of my door all day. His name was Matt
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Porch One Liners
Which porch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with porch? I can suggest the ones about parlor and balcony.
- How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
- How do you get a philosophy student off your porch? Thank him for the pizza
- How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza.
- Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
- I'm looking for the porch pirate that stole my good joke. It was all in the delivery.
- How do you get a snowboarder off your front porch!? Pay for the pizza...
- How do you steal a porch? You just take it step by step
- What language does a patio speak? Porch-uguese
- I saw a bunch of insect larva on my porch You've got to bee kidding me!
- What do you call a patio covered in waterfowl a Porch-o-geese
- A nearly dead baby is like building a new porch To finish it off it needs a good railing
- What did the ten-sided polygon say when his porch washed away Decagon
- How do you get a Florida State graduate off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza. - What did the Australian say when he saw that European on his porch? Norway!
- What does a French guy do when he's mad at you? He goes Oui Oui on your porch.
Cheeky Porch Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about porch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean porcelain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make porch pranks.
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mowing the grass.
One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my porch, drinking a beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass."
Ol' Merl & Ethel
Ol' Merl & Ethel were sitting on the porch, enjoying the summer breeze. Suddenly, Ethel reaches over and smacks poor ol' Merl right out of his chair. "What was that for?" he exclaims. "That's for being such a lousy lover all these years." Well, Merl gets back in his chair, sits quietly for a while, then reaches over and smacks Ethel right back. "And what was that for?" Ol' Merl drawls, "That's for knowing the difference."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The mailman
A mailman gets a new route in a rural community. Walking up to a isolated little farmhouse, he sees a woman out back getting hammered by a goat.
He looks at the kid sitting on the porch, and asks him "Hey kid, doesn't it bother you, what your mom's doing back there?"
The kid looks at him and says "NAAAAAAA!"
Blonde Paint Job Warning:Long
A blonde,wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself as a handyman type and started canvasing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the man asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."
Blonde Paint Job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Grandpa's Rocking Chair
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'
My girlfriend told me this one
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Two Drunks and a Dog
Two extremely drunk men were stumbling toward home after leaving the bar one night. As they staggered through the backstreets they noticed a dog sitting on his front porch giving his tackle a hearty tongue bath. One of the men turns to the other and says
"You know, I wish I could to do that."
To which the second replies
"I bet if you ask him nicely he very well might let you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.
What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
Art.
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
Matt.
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
Phil.
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
Bob.
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?
Bill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Musician Jokes
Q: how do you get a guitarist off your porch?
A: pay for the pizza
Q: how many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 6. One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
Q:what did the drummer get on his I.Q test?
A: saliva.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs
The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."
The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.
About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."
One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."
Be wary of the chore of painting . . .
A man was looking for a person to paint her porch, so he hired a young lady and told her what to do.
After about 30 minutes, the lady came to the door and said, I'm done.
The man asked, How did you get done so fast?
The lady said, It was hard at first, but it got easier towards the end. And by the way, it's a Ferrarri not a Porsche.
Bubba n' Buford
Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, "Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy finds his Grandfather sitting out on the porch completely n**... from the waist down.
And he says, "Grandpa, where are your pants?"
The old man replies, "It was your Grandmother's idea. Yesterday I complained about having a stiff neck after sitting out here shirtless, so she suggested I stay out here pantsless before bedtime."
Stiff....
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma`s idea!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who Hasn't Read The Grapes of Wrath?
Farm boy John takes the cow to the neighboring farm which has a bull to have her inseminated. The neighboring farm also has neighbor farmer's daughter Sally. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? It's your cow".
Paint it green
A young man shows up for a job at a large house and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and gives the young man a gallon of green paint and a brush and tells him to go out back and paint the "porch green." After a few hours the young man comes back and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and the young man says, "Sir, I'm done paintin', but that aint no porch you got out back, it's a Ferrari."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wouldn't do that if I were you!
Two r**... were sitting on a porch.
A dog walks up on the front lawn and takes a seat. It starts to lick himself. The one readneck looks to other and says, "man, I sure wish I could do that"
The other r**... says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you..that dog will bite you"
There were 2 blondes...
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
An old Vermonter is sitting on his porch.
A New Yorker is passing by and stops to chat. He asks the old timer, "Have you lived here all your life."
"Not yet."
In Vermont an old man is sitting in his rocking chair on his porch, quietly smoking a pipe.
A tourist who is staying at a nearby B&B passes by every day for a week, and whenever he passes, the man is just sitting there in his rocking chair quietly smoking his pipe.
One day the tourist cannot refrain from asking the old man: "Say, have you been sitting here all your life, doing nothing but smoking your pipe?"
Says the old man: "Not yet!"
John is painting his house when a homeless fellow comes along...
and offers some help. John agrees and tells the man to go around the back and paint the porch. After a couple hours, the homeless man finishes up. "Done already?" John asks. "Yeah," the homeless man replies, "but that's a BMW, not a porch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blond and a brunette are sitting on a porch...
The brunette looks out and sees her husband approaching with flowers. The brunette says: "Oh look, flowers, looks like I'll be having my legs spread open all weekend long..." The blonde replies: "Why? Don't you have a vase?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman hears a knock a her door...
She answers and a man is standing on her front porch.
"Hello" he says, "I'm your new neighbor. I'm obligated to inform you that I am a registered s**... offender."
"This is totally unacceptable," she proclaims, "I'm calling my congressman!" And she slams the door.
A few seconds later there is another knock at the door. She opens the door and the same man is standing there.
"Hello, I'm your congressman."
Kid looking for odd jobs comes to a guys door
"Hey mister" he starts out, "I'm looking for some work for pocket money over the holidays".
Impressed by the youngster's work ethic the man says "Sure son; there's a few tins of paint in the garage. Go get them and paint the porch and I'll give you $20"
4 hours later there was a knock on the man's door by a paint spattered youth holding his hand out for payment who says "I've finished and by the way that's not a porch it's a BMW"
I told my wife I wanted her to spread my ashes for traction when the back porch gets icy
That way she can put me to work and step on me one last time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman's husband dies and gets cremated
She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that b**... I promised you? Well, here it comes"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor Little Johnny...
Little Johnny is sitting on his porch crying.
His neighbor, Mr. Smith, is concerned, comes over and asks "Johnny, why are ya crying like that?"
Johnny says sobbingly, "Oh Mr. Smith, I just came home from school and found my Dad dead on the floor and I don't know what to do!"
Mr. Smith is shocked and says "Oh no Johnny. How can I help? Let me go get the town priest for you?"
To which Johnny states "God no... I can't think about s**... at a time like this!"
In the words of Bill Murray...
An Irish man knocks on the door of an old lady, he says he's broke and looking for work. The old lady says "Sure, I'll pay you to paint my porch." So she gives the Irish man some paint and he leaves.
One hour later the man comes back, "Are you already done?" the lady asked, "Aye." said the Irish man, "But it's not a porch it's a Mazda."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
60 Years of Marriage
An old couple in their 80's are sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch enjoying the day. Suddenly the wife reaches over and just slaps her husband across the face.
Flabergasted he looks at her and says "what was that for?"
She responds "that's for 60 years of bad s**..."
They continue to rocking on the porch.
A few minutes later the husband reaches over and smacks his wife hard enough that it knocks her out of her chair onto the porch.
With tears in her eyes she asks "what was that for?"
Her husband replies "that's for knowing the difference."
Another blonde joke.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money...
decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw a h**... on the street who said she'd do anything for $50.
Guess who got the front porch repainted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is walking down the street...
And he sees a gnarled, wrinkled little old lady sitting on her porch. He starts to just keep walking, but he notices that the lady has a huge charismatic smile on her face.
The man walks up and says to her "Excuse me, I Couldn't help but notice how vibrant you look. Can you tell me what you've done to maintain what appears to be such a youthful exuberance?"
The lady responds "Sure, I get up every morning and smoke 2 stogies while I have my coffee with bourbon. Then I have some sausage for lunch, smoke some cigarettes and sometimes a joint before I b**... one of the guys I hang out with."
The man says "Oh my god, we've got to get you on tv! You've lived a long healthy life living like that! Exactly how old are you?"
The woman says "24."
Three old women are sitting on a porch.
The first one says "Oy."
The second one says "Oy vey."
The third one says "I thought we weren't going to talk about the children."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?
Patty O'Furnature
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's green and sits on the porch?
p**... O'Furniture.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
So I got a little drunk last night.
I was out on my porch yelling "Get off of my lawn!" at my wife's yard gnomes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The difference between rural, suburban, and urban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.
A young man was looking for work...
He comes across an old lady's house and asks if she has any work for him.
The lady says, "Actually I do need someone to paint the porch."
After some time the boy returns and says, "I've finished painting, but you should know it's a BMW not a Porsche."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 farmers sitting on a porch just passin the time, shootin the s**...t
when a m**... plant yells out of no where:
"You big dumb dark cow!"
One of the farmer turns to his friend and says
"look at the p**... calling the cattle black"
A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"
The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"
I saw a black man running down the street with a TV
I was worried it was mine so I drove home as fast as I could, when I got home I was relieved to find mine was still there...brushing the front porch.
Its such a shame todays world is so politically correct, you cant even say Black Paint anymore,
Instead you have to say "Leeroy please paint the porch"
I got paid $20 to plow an old lady. I exceeded her expectations by a mile...
I did her driveway and she only wanted the porch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ma and Pa were rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped Ma, Ma said what was that for? Pa said for forty years of bad s**.... Ma said oh and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa said what was that for?
Ma said for knowing the difference.
A historian and an economist are sitting on the porch of a nudist colony...
The historian asks, "Have you read Marx?"
The economist replies, "Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."
It's really fascinating that I've been able to see language evolve over just a couple generations. For example, what they used to call a chesterfield we now call a couch, what they used to call a veranda we now call a porch, and what they used to call a joke we now call
a president.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the s**... whale have on his front porch?
A whalecum mat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbor watched while I j**... off on my porch tonight.
It was really buggy and the can was almost empty.
A younger woman receives a dozen red roses. . .
A much older woman and a much younger woman are sitting on the front porch when all of a sudden the younger woman looked up and saw her husband coming towards her with a dozen red roses. Disgusted, she said to her friend, "Well it looks like I'll be up all night long with my legs up in the air." Confused, the elderly woman ask, "What's a matter? Ain't you got a vase?"
Little Johnny was sitting on the porch with his sister
He said, "Look, there's a quarter in the street!"
His sister jumped up and ran into the street to get the money and was promptly squashed by a truck. And Little Johnny just laughed and laughed, because he knew it was only a nickel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men and a dog sitting out on the porch.
The dog is l**... itself.
One man says to the other, "I wish I could do that!" He responds "he'll bite you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Slapping Old People
An old man and old woman are sitting on their front porch on a bench one day just enjoying the scenery. All of a sudden the old woman looks at her husband and slaps him across his face. He looks and her and says "What was that for?" She said "That is for 40 years of horrible s**...!" He is quiet as he absorbs this newly discovered information. Quietly the old man reaches over and slaps his wife across her face. She says "What was that for?" He said "For knowing the difference!"
Alabama robo-call: Please get out to vote...
...and if you have teenage daughters, leave your porch light on.
I ordered my girlfriend flowers on Valentine's day
that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.
Apparently it's not really the thought that counts.
What did the Brazilian goose on the balcony say to the squirrel passing by?
I don't know, I don't speak porch of geese
They say the bathtub is one of the safest places to be during a tornado.
That's why I put mine on the front porch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a jehovah witness and a m**...?
I have no idea but I can't get him off my porch
Two old guys are sitting on a porch
1st guy: It's nice out eh?
2nd guy: Is it? I think I'll take mine out then
A guy looking for work
A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife got into a car c**...
The Cops suspended her licence, and slapped her with a fine. She tried to argue that the guy was drinking and speaking on the phone. The Cops didn't care, they said he has a full right to do what he wants on his own front porch.
Bike is short for Bichael
So yesterday i was sitting on my front porch and i saw a black guy riding a bike, i thought it was mine so i checked my shed but it was still there chained up and asking for food
The lawyer is painting his house, and a hobo comes around and asked if he could do something or in a few dollars.
The lawyer says, "sure, take a can of paint and go around to the back of the house and paint my porch."
The hobo does this and 15 minutes later comes back and says he's finished. The lawyer says, "already?" And the hobo says," yeah, but it isn't a Porsche, it's a Mercedes!"
Three old men are sitting on a porch relaxing...
The first old man complains about having trouble moving his bowels.
The second old ma complains about having trouble urinating.
The third old man says, every morning at 7am I relieve myself, then at 7:15 I take a huge dump.
The other two men look at him and say what's wrong with that?
The third old man says, I don't wake up until 7:30.
A poor man goes to a rich person's house and says that he will do anything for $100
The man tells him: If you repaint my porch, I will give you $100
3 hours later, the poor man says that he is finished.
Seeing no paint on his porch, the rich man says: I'm not paying you, you didn't do anything
The poor man replied: Yeah I did, but it's not a Porsche, it's a Mercedes
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mother told me that losers don't deserve to be commended.
So, naturally, I took down the confederate flag from the porch.
I moved my ferret cage to my front porch to have a BBQ in the back yard. Now my house has a mullet...
Business in the front, party in the back!
Need to get rid of some of your junk?
Pack it up in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.
My kid got kicked out of daycare today
Turns out you can't just leave 'em out on the porch.
