Porcelain Jokes
37 porcelain jokes and hilarious porcelain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about porcelain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Who knew porcelain thrones could be so funny? Read up on the ancient and unusual porcelain jokes inherited from an Elven Heir, and find out the story behind the famous Rosetta Porcelain joke.
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Funniest Porcelain Short Jokes
Short porcelain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The porcelain humour may include short ceramic jokes also.
- How come vampires are portrayed to be porcelain white even though the original vampire, Vlad Dracula, was quite swarthy? Must be his nickname.
- A man was recently convicted of beating another man's cow to death using only two small porcelain figures... Police report that it was the first case of a knickknack paddywhack
- Had a porcelain santa on a shelf.... one day he fell off and his hands broke off.
From then on we called him Canta Plause. - A man was killed in a rice field by a small porcelain doll.... It was the very first knick-knack, patty whack
- Why did Chewbacca get sued over the title of his book on porcelain? He called it "Hairy Potter"
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Porcelain One Liners
Which porcelain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with porcelain? I can suggest the ones about porch and marble.
- A big porcelain basin was demanding entry to our house. Let that sink in.
- What would Chewbacca be called if he worked with porcelain? Hairy Potter
- Why can't the porcelain king go to the bathroom? He was dethroned.
- Did you hear Chewbacca took up porcelain? They call him the Hairy Potter.
- Where did the king of rock and roll die? On the porcelain throne.
- From where do we obtain the porcelain? From the porcesheeps.
- When you play the game of porcelain thones, you either win.. ..or you diarrhea.
Silly Porcelain Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about porcelain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pottery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make porcelain pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is m**... Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".
Kermit Jagger needs a loan.
Kermit Jagger needed to take out a large loan, so he went to his bank and met with a banker named Patricia Wack.
Patricia asked, "Do you have something you can offer as collateral?" Kermit responded by placing a little porcelain figurine on the desk. Patricia was not impressed, but she went to her manager to explain the situation. The manager laughed, and replied,
"It's a knick knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was killed by an assassin
An Irishman was killed by an assassin in his own home Thursday. Sources say the assailant was armed only with 2 porcelain figures. After beating the man to death, the assassin threw the body to several mongrel dogs that lived in a nearby wooded area.
Police claim it's the first known case of a Knick-Knack p**... whack, give a dog a bone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once a man in the mafia, was tasked with killing another man.
He ended up killing him with a porcelain doll in a rice p**....
It was the first known case of a knick knack p**... whack.
A friend calls his engineer friend
A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"
A Scottish Terrier walks into a bank
He sits at the desk of the Loan Officer, a Ms. Patty Black. He asks if he's eligible for a small business loan.
Do you have any collateral? , Patty asks.
I do have this, replies the Terrier, rooting around in his bag and pulling out a small porcelain figurine.
I'm not sure if we can accept this, says Patty. Let me ask my manager.
Patty calls her manager over and explains the situation. The manager says
It's a knickknack, Patty Black, give the dog a loan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClarty.
Confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using on two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first know case of a knick knack p**... whack.
Cr
Colin Mochrie's best joke.
Our top story today: Convicted hitman Jimmy 'TwoShoes' McClardy confessed today that he was once paid to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures.
Police admit this might be the only case of a knickknack paddywhack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman'
'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack p**... Whacked.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
State troopers arrested an alleged assassin accused of bludgeoning a man to death with two small porcelain figurine in a rice field—
Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack p**... whack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Police were called to the scene of a m**...
A man escaped a mental hospital and stole some porcelain figurines. Later that night he snuck into a farmers field and used them to beat a cow to death with them.
It was the first documented case of a nic-nac patty wack
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vandals arrested for m**... in a field using porcelain miniatures
Detectives report it was the first case of a nick back p**... whack
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day I used a very high u**...
I didn't like it: if I was 5 centimeters shorter (or longer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) I would have touched the porcelain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitman is hired to kill a cow
A hitman was hired to m**... a cow in a field using only a porcelain figurine. This is the only known case of a knick knack patty whack.
A man struggled into the animal hospital ...
A man struggled into the animal hospital carrying a large dog in his arms. The team quickly led them into a treatment room and in walked a doctor, who asked "What's wrong?"
"I ... need to put ... my dog down," said the man, breathing heavily, barely able to stand.
The doctor motioned to his assistants, who gently took the dog and exited through another door. "Wait here, sir. We'll be right back."
15 minutes later, the doctor re-entered the room carrying a collar and a beautiful porcelain urn.
The man, now relaxed and refreshed, jumped up and said "Oh, Doctor, hello! Now we can discuss my dog's flea problem!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog needs a loan...
...so he goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks 'Okay, well what's your name?' The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, son of the musician m**... Jagger.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who wants a loan and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' The bank manager looks back at her and says 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bit long, but one of the few work appropriate ones I know.
A frog named Kermit Jagger walks into a bank and up to the bank teller whose named Patty Wack.
Kermit: Hi there, I'm Kermit Jagger the son of the famous m**... Jagger and I would like a loan for $30,000 to buy a speed boat.
Patty Wack: Oh ok? Well do you have a down payment?
Kermit: As a matter of fact I do. (Pulls out a small porcelain elephant from his pocket and gives it to the teller)
Patty Wack: (Unsure of what to do) I'll go ask the manager.
Patty Wack: (explains the situation to the manager) And then he handed me this little elephant and I don't even know what it is!
Bank Manger: It's a nick nack Patty Wack give the frog a loan his old man's a rolling stone!
Mr. Toad was window shopping...
...when he saw a tiny porcelain snowman figurine that he just *had* to have. He enters the store to inquire about the price and learns that it costs much more than he can afford. Undaunted, he sets off to meet with lending officer at the bank, Mr. Paddywaque.
"No job, a dismal credit rating, a wife and 38 tadpoles to support?", says Paddywaque. "I don't think I can approve this application, Mr. Toad."
"*PLEASE*, I implore you, I MUST have this snowman! Surely, there's something you can do!", said Mr. Toad.
Paddywaque gives in to his client's pleading and agrees to show the application to his manager, Mr. ....uumm.....Jones.
Jones, terribly busy at the moment and not wanting to be bothered, takes a quick glance over his glasses at the application and says...
"It's a knick knack Paddywaque, give the frog a loan!"
