Population Jokes

125 population jokes and hilarious population puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about population that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover what funny jokes have been cracked about India's population growth. Get to know the reasons why its population increase has become a global concern. Read this article to find out what people say regarding its ever-increasing and fertile population and the measures to bring its growth rate to a decrease.

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Short Population Jokes
Population One Liners
Population Growth Jokes
Indian Population Jokes
More Population Jokes

Funniest Population Short Jokes

Short population jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The population humour may include short probability jokes also.

I've figured out that the spread of Covid-19 over the past couple years has been due to two factors. 1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
We conducted an online survey.... ...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.
The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
Why does the population of Detroit never change? Because as soon as a baby is born, some guy leaves town.
Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote, Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.
Americas covid numbers are only because the population is so dense There are also a lot of people in certain locations
I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white. Surely we don't need that many guards.
Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest? Because it would be economically unsound to attempt to establish a pharmaceutical distribution network in such a sparsely populated area

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Population One Liners

Which population one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with population? I can suggest the ones about percentage and density.

My town never changes population. Everytime a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robot. They call it Mars.
Ireland's population is out of control It keeps Dublin and Dublin
99.9% of the population is dumb. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of smart people.
Ireland is the fastest growing country Their population is Dublin every day.
Who killed 25% of the world's population during his time? Cain.
Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population.
Did you know that Ireland had the fastest growing population? It's Dublin everyday.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes? Desserted
How does Elon musk plan on populating mars? SpaceX
What is the fastest growing country by population? Ireland. it's Dublin every year.
If earth was a sandwich The entire population would be in bread.
Did you know that three out of four people... make up 75% of the population?
Which country has the fastest growing population? Ireland
It's Dublin everyday.
TIL 3 out of 4 people... Make up 75% of the population.

Population Growth Jokes

Here is a list of funny population growth jokes and even better population growth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Which country's capital has the fastest population growth? Ireland, because it's always Dublin.
The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors: 1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is
Do you know what Irish City is seeing the biggest population growth? It is their capital. It is Dublin (doubling)...

Indian Population Jokes

Here is a list of funny indian population jokes and even better indian population puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What planet would have the highest Indian population? Mer-cury

Population joke, What planet would have the highest Indian population?

Uproarious Population Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about population you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean culture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make population pranks.

The teacher asked Johnny, "What is s**...?"
Johnny stood up and said: "s**... is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

I come from a small town.

I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town.

Pest Control

There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.

Speaking in German in Texas

In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")

The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.
We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.
Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.

English Weather

I just read something about weather in England:
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._
In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as _'Muslim Weather'_ -- partly Sunni, but mostly s**...'ite.

So I just heard there is a disease killing off the Alligator population in Florida.

They all got Gatorades.

They say 99% of the population is s**......

I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!

Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...

After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.

Welcome to Skagway where the population always remains the same.

Every time a child is born, a man leaves town.

During the collapse of the Soviet Union...

... An elderly woman is surveyed by the government to conclude what the state of mind of the populous is.
**Survey man**: Where were you born?
**Woman**: St. Petersburg
**Survey man**: Where do you live now?
**Woman**: Leningrad
**Survey man**: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
**Woman**: St. Petersburg

Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...

Brits are really good at pulling out.

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population?

Cause the c**... they use is "Made in china"

As of Nov 9, 2016, what will be the 2nd most populous state in America?

Catatonic

Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population

#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

Switzerland declares war on China.

The Chinese President is informed by one of his aides that Switzerland has declared war on them. The president calmly asks:
"What's the population of Switzerland?", the aide replies: "8 million, sir", and so the president says: "Alright, which hotel will they be staying at?".

How is it that rice originated from China to become a staple food for a large part of the world's human population?

I mean, come on! They couldn't even pronounce it.

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Why the population in India is exploding these days?

Because everyone over there is doing IT!

Solution to overpopulation

Professor : "Over population is a big problem in our country. A woman in India gives birth every minute!"
Student : "Somebody should stop her!!"

Did you know...

3/2 of the world's population s**... at fractions?

Sometimes I gaze upwards at the endless stars that populate the sky and realize how small I truly am.

I should get one of those pumps.

Growing up, it always my childhood dream to study populations...

...then I came to my census

If Donald Trump becomes president, he'll increase taxes, he'll increase borders...

And the population of Canada.

A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment.

Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.

I've always wondered why china have such a high population.

Today I found out, their Condoms are made in China!

Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population?

Because they don't have any closets to come out of

If i spent as much time working as i did procrastinating

TIL there is an island in the Bahamas called Pig Beach populated entirely by swimming pigs.

What do laxatives and gentrification have in common?

Both tend to displace brown populations.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

My dad told me

about a town that had a lot of car wrecks and their population was dwindling quickly.
The people had an issue with pulling out too early.

Statistics say that 95% of the population is dumb

I'm glad to be in the 10% that isn't.

What is the most populous city in the world?

Rio, it has Brazilians.

What do extreme sports and s**... have in common?

Both have the very real chance of changing the world's population.

A king outlawed hunting in his kingdom

Pretty soon, deer and elk populations were out of control, eating the commoners' crops and becoming a general nuisance. The people revolted and overthrew the king, thus making it the first time in history a reign had been called on account of game.

An economist was asked in a talk about how to solve 3 issues

"How would you solve the inevitable future problems of overpopulation, water and employment?"
"Well" he says, "In the future when the water get scarce, we will probably go to war so it can be secured, which will solve the employment problem, and the population should go down as well."

Have you heard about the population of Ireland?

It's Dub-lin!

Did you know that 1 out of every two people..

Make up 50% of the population?

The population is running low so the government decides to pay its citizens $50,000 for every child they have at that time

A man hears the news and says to his wife, "I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids." He goes for the kid and when he comes back, he only finds one of his kids remaining.
Stunned, he asks: "Where are the other 3?"
"You are not the only one who heard the news." His wife replies.

Have you heard about that new virus that is devastating the bird population?

It's called Chirpies.
What's most heartbreaking about it is that it's...
untweetable.

What city grows twice its population?

Dublin

When you market TV shows and movies in other countries, it's not uncommon to change the title in order to appeal to the local population.

For example, the Chinese title for "Black Mirror" is "Really Cool Ideas".

A Blonde, Red Head and Brunette

were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

Why are there so many Sumo wrestlers in Japan?

Because the last time there was a little boy in Japan, half the population was wiped out.

A teacher asked her class "What is s**...?"

Johny got up and said:
"s**... is a *temptation*
Caused by a *sensation*
Where a boy sticks his *location*
Into a girls *destination*
To increase *population*
For the next *generation*
Did you get my *explanation*
Or so you need a *demonstration?*"
The teacher fainted then.

Dear SoundCloud rappers who shout "aye you already know who it isssssss"

No we do not.
sincerely, the general population

We should be more thankful for anti-vaxxers.

They're volunteering their kids to help keep the population down!

Old testament god is a bit like h**...

But god succeeded in wiping out a population.

"We divided the population as you requested Mr. President", announced the assistant at the door,"so we're just waiting for your approval on the memory wipe"

"Wipe the memories of groups 1-8, leave 9 and wipe 10 too." "Why leave 9 sir? 9 refers to children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?"
The president looked out of the window
"Only 90s kids will remember this."

My town's population has remained constant over the last 30 years.

Whenever a girl gets pregnant, a guy skips town.

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

The Farmer was careful to monitor the ratio of roosters to chickens

He was trying to control ova population.

The spread of Corona Virus is based on 2 factors:

1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.

The spread of Covid-19 is based on 2 factors

1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

The spread of coronavirus depends on two things: