The Best 72 Population Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Population jokes. There are some population capita jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these population republic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Population Jokes and Puns

Ireland is the fastest growing country

Their population is Dublin every day.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.

Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.

Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"

Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

I come from a small town.

I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town.

Population joke, I come from a small town.

Pest Control

There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.

Who killed 25% of the world's population during his time?

Cain.


Speaking in German in Texas

In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")

The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.

We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.

Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.

Population joke, David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

English Weather

I just read something about weather in England:

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._

In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as _'Muslim Weather'_ -- partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.

So I just heard there is a disease killing off the Alligator population in Florida.

They all got Gatorades.

Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population.

They say 99% of the population is stupid...

I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!

You can explore population worldwide reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean population exponentially dad jokes. There are also population puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was shocked to find out that 35% of America's prison population is white.

Surely we don't need that many guards.

Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...

After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.

Ireland's population is out of control

It keeps Dublin and Dublin

Welcome to Skagway where the population always remains the same.

Every time a child is born, a man leaves town.

Why does the population of Detroit never change?

Because as soon as a baby is born, some guy leaves town.

Population joke, Why does the population of Detroit never change?

Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...

Brits are really good at pulling out.

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population?

Cause the condom they use is "Made in china"

Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population

#1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census


How is it that rice originated from China to become a staple food for a large part of the world's human population?

I mean, come on! They couldn't even pronounce it.

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Why the population in India is exploding these days?

Because everyone over there is doing IT!

Solution to overpopulation

Professor : "Over population is a big problem in our country. A woman in India gives birth every minute!"

Student : "Somebody should stop her!!"

Did you know...

3/2 of the world's population sucks at fractions?

If Donald Trump becomes president, he'll increase taxes, he'll increase borders...

And the population of Canada.

Did you know that three out of four people...

make up 75% of the population?

I've always wondered why china have such a high population.

Today I found out, their Condoms are made in China!

Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population?

Because they don't have any closets to come out of

My town never changes population.

Everytime a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

Which country's capital has the fastest population growth?

Ireland, because it's always Dublin.

My dad told me

about a town that had a lot of car wrecks and their population was dwindling quickly.

The people had an issue with pulling out too early.

Statistics say that 95% of the population is dumb

I'm glad to be in the 10% that isn't.

We conducted an online survey....

...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.

What do extreme sports and sex have in common?

Both have the very real chance of changing the world's population.

TIL 3 out of 4 people...

Make up 75% of the population.

Did you know that 1 out of every two people..

Make up 50% of the population?

Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote,

Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.

The population is running low so the government decides to pay its citizens $50,000 for every child they have at that time

A man hears the news and says to his wife, "I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids." He goes for the kid and when he comes back, he only finds one of his kids remaining.

Stunned, he asks: "Where are the other 3?"

"You are not the only one who heard the news." His wife replies.

Have you heard about that new virus that is devastating the bird population?

It's called Chirpies.

What's most heartbreaking about it is that it's...

untweetable.

What city grows twice its population?

Dublin

A teacher asked her class "What is sex?"

Johny got up and said:
"Sex is a *temptation*
Caused by a *sensation*
Where a boy sticks his *location*
Into a girls *destination*
To increase *population*
For the next *generation*
Did you get my *explanation*
Or so you need a *demonstration?*"
The teacher fainted then.

Dear SoundCloud rappers who shout "aye you already know who it isssssss"

No we do not.

sincerely, the general population

If earth was a sandwich

The entire population would be in bread.

What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world?

Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.

We should be more thankful for anti-vaxxers.

They're volunteering their kids to help keep the population down!

Old testament god is a bit like Hitler

But god succeeded in wiping out a population.

My town's population has remained constant over the last 30 years.

Whenever a girl gets pregnant, a guy skips town.

The percent of the population holding anti-vaccination beliefs has gotten up to the mid-teens.

Unlike their children.

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

The Farmer was careful to monitor the ratio of roosters to chickens

He was trying to control ova population.

The spread of Corona Virus is based on 2 factors:

1. How dense the population is.

2. How dense the population is.

The spread of Covid-19 is based on 2 factors

1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

The spread of coronavirus depends on two things:

1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. Everday it's Dublin.





\*Idk if this has been on here yet. My co worker told me this and I about had a stroke.\*

The spread of coronavirus within a country depends on two factors:

1) How dense the country's population is
2) How dense the country's population is

The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is

Which country has the fastest growing population?

Ireland

It's Dublin everyday.

What is the fastest growing country by population?

Ireland. it's Dublin every year.

Why is the population in Ireland so big ?

Because it keeps on Dublin and Dublin and Dublin.

Politicians are rushing to Venus.

This after news that the local population absolutely *lives* for hot air.

God was handing out talents one morning

To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.

God stooped down low and found a man waiting in the darkness, just before dawn. He gave him the power to sprinkle water on the grass as the sun rose. The angels were confused. "You gave amazing abilities to all others. Can this one really care for himself with such a small talent?"

God simply replied, "He will learn to make dew."

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.

It was a turtle disaster.

I didn't think I'd ever be turned on by population statistics...

But then I came to my census

Americas covid numbers are only because the population is so dense

There are also a lot of people in certain locations

99.9% of the population is dumb.

Fortunately I belong to the 1% of smart people.

There are two things that determine the spread of coronavirus

1. The density of the population
2. The density of the population

A court declares social distancing unenforceable in Alabama

Reasons the judge: The entire state's population can reasonably be considered as a family unit

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came to town, they lost half their population.

The U.S. is currently at 34 people / km2 while India is at 424 people / km2...

...but actually, the U.S.'s population is a lot denser.

"If you could push a button and would receive $100 million, but you would whipe out 50% of the earth's human population (without anyone knowing it was you), would you push that button?"

A friend of ours: "I vould push it three times".

What's the difference between Jesus and vaccines?

One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.

The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the population inhabitants jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working population overpopulation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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