Popes Square Jokes
5 popes square jokes and hilarious popes square puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about popes square that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Great Popes Square Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What is a good popes square joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The Pope, Xi Jinping and Donald Trump are summoned by God
"OK", said God, "the world's gonna end in 20 years, go back and prepare your people".
The Pope prepared a great mass at St. Peter's Square and announced "Dear Catholics, I have good and bad news. Rejoice, for God is real, but also repent, for the end of the world is coming in 20 years".
Xi Jinping held a speech in front of the CCP. "Horrible news, comrades, not only is God real, he also told us the world is coming to an end in 20 years".
Trump tweeted "Great news everyone! God knows I'm important!"
Dave knows everyone joke
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the f**... is that on the balcony with Dave?’
A small town's only barber was known for his arrogant, negative attitude.
When one of his regular customers came in and mentioned that he'd be going to Rome and hoped to meet the Pope, the barber's response was typical. "You, meet the Pope? Ha, don't make me laugh. The Pope only sees kings and presidents and queens. What would he want with you?"
A month later, the man returns for another haircut.
"How was Rome?"
"Great! I saw the Pope."
"Yes, from St Peter's Square like the rest of the crowd I suppose."
"Yes, but then two guards came up and demanded that the Pope wanted to see me. They even took me to his private apartment in the Vatican."
"What did he say?"
"Who gave you that lousy haircut?"
Four Priests and a Woman Sit Down For Lunch around St. Peter's Square...
The first priest says: "My son's a priest, whenever he walks in a room people say 'Hello Father!'"
The second priest says: "My son's a bishop, whenever he walks into a room people say 'Your Grace!"
The third priest says: "Well my son's a cardinal, whenever he walks into a room people say "Your Eminence!"
The fourth priest looks at his fellows and says: "My son's the pope, when he walks into a room everyone says "Your Holiness!"
So, after proudly talking about their kids they look over at the woman with them kind of as if to say "and you?"
The woman says: I've got a daughter, she's got knockout face, DDs, and a 24 waist, whenever she walks into a room everyone says "OH MY GOD!"
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St.
Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips.
When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."
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