Popes Jokes
29 popes jokes and hilarious popes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about popes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Popes Short Jokes
Short popes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The popes humour may include short pope benedict jokes also.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but never uses. Donald Trump has one and uses it. What is it? A surname/last name
- After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief
- Just an innocent question Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does not have one, and the Pope doesn't use it.
What is it?
>!A last name.!< - A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname.
- I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary... But he couldn't afford her speaking fees
- Before i die im going to eat a whole bag of un-poped popcorn Hopefully it will make the cremation a bit more interesting
- I asked the B-52s where i could find a Pope They told me "Rome if you want two!" Had to break the news about benedict to them.
- Clint Eastwood, the Pope, and Yoda walk into the bar... It was at this point I realized I had done WAY too many tequila shots.
- There are three religious truths 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store. - My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on.
The bartender says, "Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"
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Popes One Liners
Which popes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with popes? I can suggest the ones about papal and clergy.
- Maybe the Pope just wants to finally get married.
Or settle down with a couple of kids. - Why does the pope not want to be cremated? Because he is still alive.
- Why did Popeye beat up the Pope? He heard he was going to Mount Olive
- What does mike tyson use to chat with the Pope? Faithtime
- The Pope walks into a synagogue... The rabbi says, "Why the wrong faith?"
- The pope walks into a mosque The imam says "Hey, why the wrong faith?"
- The pope walks into a Mosque A Muslim looks up and asks
"Why the wrong faith?" - What happens when the pope dies Another one popes up
- What are law enforcement officers called in Vatican City? The Pope Po
- Did you hear about the gay pope? He couldn't decide if he was divine or simply gorgeous.
- How does the Pope make online purchases? Using his Papal account.
- What do you call a traveling Pope? A Roamin' Catholic.
- Why hasn't there been a black pope? Because black men are afraid of being fathers.
- Who was the best smelling Pope? Pope Pourri.
- What do you call a female pope? oe
Cheerful Fun Popes Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about popes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean two priests jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make popes pranks.
A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven...
He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.
Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.
I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"
Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.
A lawyer goes to heaven...
...and finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.
Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.
I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"
Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.
What's the popes favorite breakfast?
Ex Benedict
What's the difference between a teenage girl and the Popes luggage?
One is totes blessed and the other is blessed totes.
The Pope is stepping down because he's "too old"...
... I see the Catholic Church applies the same criteria to Popes as it does to their choirboys.
What do you call the popes cigarettes?
Holy Smokes!
Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...
The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope.
CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"
Nobody is more blessed
Then the popes altar boy with allergies
Where do Popes keep their knights between Crusades?
in the Deus Vault
Where do some popes get their vestments?
Urban Outfitters
President Trump and Pope Francis on a cruise
President Trump and Pope Francis happen to run into each other while on an international cruise. It was quite a windy day out of the sea when the Popes hat flew off the ship and into the sea. President Trump immediately climbs overboard to fetch the Popes hat. In astonishment, the Pope looks overboard to see what just happened. He cannot believe what he sees. President Trump is not swimming, but walking on the water over to his hat. President Trump comes back to the Pope with the hat while he remained dry.
The media the next day came out with the following headline...
BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT TRUMP CAN NOT SWIM
Donald Trump took Pope Francis for an afternoon on his yacht...
While they were out to sea, the Pope's hat blew off his head and into the water. While everyone ran frantically, Trump stood up and said "Hang on. I've got this"
Miraculously he walked to the platform level with the water, and continued walking across the top of the water, picked up the popes hat and walked back and returned it to him. Everyone was stunned at this they couldn't believe what they just saw!
The following morning CNN reported:
"Breaking: Donald Trump can't swim!"
