Poorly Jokes
96 poorly jokes and hilarious poorly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poorly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn the art of telling a poorly timed joke with grace and class. With the right tools and properly knowing the bio of your audience, you can successfully bring joy to any room. Find out the appropriate way to tell an underwhelming joke so nobody feels left out!
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Funniest Poorly Short Jokes
Short poorly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The poorly humour may include short so poor jokes also.
- My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
- Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
- Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day. But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
- Poor Prince Phillip... 99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.
- What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire
- What's heavier, a ton of brick or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
- Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto.
Kudos to my friend who came up with this. - Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
- At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.' The poor bartender was crushed to death.
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Poorly One Liners
Which poorly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with poorly? I can suggest the ones about miserably and horribly bad.
- The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick is that he is a poorly-executed character
- When I was young, I was poor. After many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
- Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy.
- Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian it was the least i could do for the poor fella
- I just read that someone gets stabbed in New York City every 46 seconds. Poor guy.
- Where do poor noodles live? The spaghetto.
- When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank.. We were too poor for a dog.
- The ladies call me subway. Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.
- Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but... Is actually just Poor Execution
- Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living.
- I grew up so poor... That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
- You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms? Poor kid never learned to talk.
- I hate being poor Sent from my iPhone
- Im so poor... That my new years resolution is 144p
- Growing up we were so poor We had to play Dungeons OR Dragons.
Poorly Timed Jokes
Here is a list of funny poorly timed jokes and even better poorly timed puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was a kid, my family was very poor. My dad had to get a second job in the sandpaper factory. Those were rough times.
^(Made that myself. I'm rather proud.) - Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson: Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
- Not saying we were poor, but many a time, my mother would send me next door with a button... ...and ask our neighbor if she would sew a shirt on it.
- Did you hear about the guy who travelled to Czechoslovakia and wasn't allowed to leave for a long long time? Poor guy. They made a movie about him: 12 Years A Slav.
- When I was a kid we were so poor! We were so poor that in the winter time we had to gather around our sickest sibling just to stay warm.
- The time traveler made a poor taste gag about the atrocities of World War 3..... Everyone agreed, it was too soon.
- I have very poor memory That's the last time I buy computer parts from that store
- My friend told me to save my money for the orphanage every time i want to buy a cigarette... So i saved 300$ to buy cigarettes for these poor kids.
- Why did the baby have such a poor time in the marathon? He was running a little behind
- FBI: Open Up! Her: You know; I think it's because I've been treated so poorly in my past relationships that I have such a hard time opening up to new people.
*Edit for spelling/grammar
Feeling Poorly Jokes
Here is a list of funny feeling poorly jokes and even better feeling poorly puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Women bait me into feeling ugly so they can learn how much money I make. Turns out, I'm ugly and poor.
- I feel bad for whoever invented the change machine. The poor guy never made a dime off of it.
- I've succeeded in my new year resolution Last year I felt miserable and poor, and my resolution was to turn it around. Now I feel poor and miserable.
- I feel sorry for the postman. The poor sod gets the sack every morning.
Poorly Received Jokes
Here is a list of funny poorly received jokes and even better poorly received puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge. It was a loco motive.
- Abacus Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it
- Cashiers aren't poor They receive a lot of money
- Next time you receive poor service from a waiter, try to be patient with them. They're only there to put food on the table.
- What do poor countries already have but also receive? AID...S
Cheeky Poorly Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about poorly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weakly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make poorly pranks.
So the pope is SUPER EARLY for his flight
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
keming.
keming (n.)- poorly executed kerning.
Why was Santa's helper doing so poorly at work?
Because he had low elf-esteem
(I hope this hasn't been posted recently...Sorry if it has)
What do you call a poorly made massive dumpling?
A wanton one-ton wonton.
lately my house has been a bit drafty...
not because its' poorly insulated, but because my wife keeps bringing home marines...
I like my children how I like my essays.
Unplanned and poorly executed
A drummer with no feet spoke poorly of the lead singer. His articulations were baseless.
Tell a joke that is well-known in your country
Even jokes that are poorly translated are normally funny because they're so bad.
An example of a well-known British joke is:
'Knock knock'.
'Who's there?'
'Doctor'
'Doctor Who?'
'You just said it'.
It has to be one that if you asked 100 random people in your country most would know it.
*SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE*
Drugs have taken me to some really dark places in my life...
Seriously, like really poorly lit crack houses
I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses.
So I made a mad dash for it.
When robots take over retail jobs...
...will customers complain about poorly programmed customer service?
What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?
They bio-D-grade.
A man and his wife built a boat...
They called it the *Alfred1*, after a friend of theirs. However, it was poorly constructed and sank immediately.
They continued to try to build seaworthy vessels, but the same thing happened over and over. With the *Brian2*, the *Chris3*, and the *Daniel4*.
"We're really not very good at this," the man said in disgust. "How do boats even work?"
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out," replied his wife. "We need an *ELI5*."
So I told the other soccer team a really offensive joke
They took it poorly and were defensive the rest of the game
Why do babies make bad mechanics?
They have poorly developed motor skills.
Why did the acid perform poorly?
Because it didn't concentrate.
Don't buy a low-quality mirror.
It would reflect poorly on you.
Yesterday I bought an expensive but poorly made tie...
I think my ascot ripped off!
My life is an open book.
But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.
Why did the skeptic do poorly in Trigonometry?
He refused to see the sines.
If you're chased by two poorly distinguished clauses
make a dash for it
I used to go around selling poorly made clothes to nuns...
But I've stopped, since I realized that it's a bad habit
Why did the poorly made shoe go to confession?
Because it had a bad sole
How does a priest apologize after behaving poorly?
He makes Amens.
What's the difference between a poorly designed user interface and Georges Perec's novel A Void?
One is known for a lack of ease of use and the other for a lack of use of e's!
A teacher asked his poorly behaved pupil 'Johnny, which is worse ignorance or apathy?'
Johnny: 'I don't know and I don't care'
I don't like the jokes about Muslims in this sub.
Most of them are poorly executed.
Why can't you drive a semi-truck anywhere?
Golf clubs are made too poorly.
What happened to the Transformer that ate poorly prepared food?
It came down with Autobotulism.
Why did the vampire break his mirror?
Because it reflected poorly on him.
My mirror shop just went out of business.
I guess my bad mirrors reflected poorly on me.
My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year
Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp
I recently started an airline company selling cheap tickets on poorly maintained aircraft
It still hasn't taken off
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office
Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become s**...."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are fish poorly educated?
All the schools are below C level.
I once babysat a sausage.
It was really poorly behaved, though.
A total *brat*.
Just the *wurst*.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you ever hear about the m**... attempt that failed?
You could say it was poorly executed.
As an engineering student, I did poorly in differential equations...
...but it never put a damper on my career.
Poorly paid UK surgeons
Yesterday I found out that NHS surgeons are so poorly paid that they have to resort to crime.
I saw a sign, it said "Thieves operate in this area."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Our town's male s**... club has employed a lot of poorly endowed men.
Ironically, they aren't short staffed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is like a poorly explained joke.
I don't get it.
The government has started fining its citizens for poorly worded sentences.
It's the syntax
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I need a compliment
*Wife:* I'm so ugly, fat and poorly dressed honey, I need a compliment to make me feel better.
*Husband:* Well, you do have a perfect eyesight sweety.
My neighbors came around the neighborhood this morning with flyers complaining about how someone stole their delivered dinner from their front stoop last night.
If you ask me, it feels like an overreaction for some poorly seasoned vegetables, overcooked salmon, and the lemon-tinged green beans, all of which had already gone cold anyway.
If you react poorly to puns...
That makes you a groan man (or whatever you identify as)
After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, "when they find someone who can't play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer."
The drummer retorted, "and if he can't play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor."
A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation. Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy's grades were straight A's, even in math!
Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school. "Oh, it's all right, I guess," he replies. "They must be teaching you some new tricks!" "Not really." "Then what do you think is making the difference in your grades?" "Well", he says, "as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People say it's frowned upon in society to talk poorly about the Jews..
They say its bad Jew Jew.
Have you heard that really convoluted metaphor about poorly constructed bridges?
It's hard to get across.
A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor
Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Weddings by Christian denomination [super-dated but still funny]
At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At a m**... wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
At a United Church wedding, the minister is pregnant.
At a Unitarian wedding, the minister and her wife are both pregnant.
*Adapted poorly from a joke about Jewish denominations.*
Teaching as a career
A school teacher walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm so worn out," he complains to the bartender. "The entire American school system is horribly disorganized and poorly run." "Well, then I guess it's true," the bartender says. "School really does prepare you for real life."
A poorly translated Dutch joke: A family called "Vermeer" has a construction supply shop
Next to the front door they have a cross with Jesus hanging on it with the text "for two thousand years, Jesus has hanged here with nails of Vermeer."
Their shop was in The Veluwe, i.e. the Dutch Bible belt, so the local municipality got upset and told the family to change it.
So the family removed the cross and changed the text to "here jesus fell off the wall, with the nails of Vermeer this wouldn't have happened at all."
I'm beginning to think my girlfriend might be homophobic...
She reacted *very poorly* last night when I came out to her...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Golf
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake. The caddy looks back at him and says, I don't think you could keep your head down that long.
Most characters in the Harry Potter series were represented well in their transition from book to movie;
But Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a bad golf drive and a poorly packed parachute?
One is whack...f**... and the other is f**.......whack.
