Poor People Jokes
93 poor people jokes and hilarious poor people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poor people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Poor People Short Jokes
Short poor people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The poor people humour may include short poor jokes also.
- You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health? I'm voting for the dying one.
- Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. "Some, I assume, are good people"
- I'm so poor…. That when people see me walking down the street with only one flip-flop on they say to me yo Juan you lost a flip flop and I say no I didn't, I found one!
- My door to door fruit delivery business failed badly because of my poor people skills. I was driving people bananas.
- I hope that if I ever get rich I won't be mean to poor people Like I am now
(Dark, I know, but one of my favorite deep thoughts) - Wife: I want to donate my clothes to people who are poor and starving. Husband: Anyone who fits into your clothes is surely not starving.
- My buddy told me this one: "People think I'm ugly until they see my bank account" "Then they think I'm ugly and poor."
- Fighting COVID-19 by contact tracing and quarantining those with connections to infected people means that... Poor Kevin Bacon never gets to leave his home.
- FBI: Open Up! Her: You know; I think it's because I've been treated so poorly in my past relationships that I have such a hard time opening up to new people.
*Edit for spelling/grammar - People who don't own televisions. I'll never understand people acting all high and mighty because they don't watch tv. We get it, you're poor.
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Poor People One Liners
Which poor people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with poor people? I can suggest the ones about poverty and rich people.
- What do poor people drink? Pover-tea.
- If the world is a sweatshirt, where do the poor people live? In the hood.
- When I hear people talking about water polo all I can think about is Those poor horses.
- Where do poor people live in Italy? In the spaghetto
- Rich people have... Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell - My poor skills as an electrician Often leave people shocked
- Why don't poor people go to funerals? They can't afford to pay respects.
- What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people? Death.
- What do poor people and pizza cooks have in common? They both need the dough.
- What is poor peoples favourite candy bar? Payday
- Why do the cops always think poor people get murdered? There's always signs of a struggle
- If the world was a jacket, where would poor people live? In da hood.
- What kind of sandwiches do poor people eat? Broke-monsieurs
- What do you call a group of poor homeless people that show up to a party? Party paupers
- What do poor people have, rich people want? And if you eat it you die. It's nothing
Silly & Ridiculous Poor People Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about poor people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean so poor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make poor people pranks.
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.
The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell.
When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."
Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Some people are so poor, all they have is money.
This is a very confusing time of year for me...
I love poor people. But I hate bells
A Punny way to die
Fred was at his local pub complaining about his neighbour when Artie the landlord takes him to one side. He explains that he used to be in the SAS and for a price he can "make people disappear", it will simply be £5,000 and a deposit.
Fred agrees that he should go ahead but he only has £1 to his name before he gets paid out for his job the next week. As they've known each other for years Artie takes the £1 as a deposit as a gesture of good faith.
The next night Artie follows the victim into a local supermarket where he waits until they are in an isle alone and he strangles the man to death. Turning to leave he spies a shelf stacker who saw everything, he panics and strangles the poor worker too, causing too much commotion to stay hidden he runs out of the store and is captured by the police several blocks away.
The headlines the next morning read:
*Supermarket Shock: Artie Chokes two for a pound!*
...
...
...
I'll show myself out.
Ghandi joke
As I'm sure you've heard, Gandhi, a very spiritual man, used hunger strikes and peaceful marches as tactics to bring attention to the plight of his people. Unfortunately, this had some negative effects on his health and well being. Besides overall weakness due to lack of food, persistent near starvation caused him to have truly awful breath. The constant walking, typically bare foot or in light sandals, gave him endless bunions and corns on his poor feet.
So it would be fair to say that he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Need a push
A few months ago, in the middle of the night my doorbell rings. I schlep down the stairs and open the door to find some guy there who was obviously drunk. He says to me "can you give me a push"? Of course, being the people person that I am, I said "Dude, it's 3:00am, and it's raining".
So I slammed the door in his face and went back up the stairs. My wife asked who it was and I told her. She scolded me, saying "don't you remember that time we broke down and someone helped us? You need to get down those stairs and help that poor man."
I opened the front door and didn't see him, so I called out "Hey, are you still here"? I heard him answer "yes". So I called out "do you still need a push"? He answered "yes". I called out "Where are you?"
He said "Over here. On the swing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions n**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.
The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answer
when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."
Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome...
...One held a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David. Many people passed by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar holding the Cross.
The Pope came by and stopped to watch the number of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross, while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of David. The Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit here with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just to prove a point."
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turning to the beggar with the Cross, said, "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
May I have a piece of gum?
Two gay guys are in a large passenger plane flying across the Pacific. In the middle of the flight, one turns and tells his partner: "Let's have s**.... Right here and now." His partner says: "Are you crazy? In front of all these people?" The first gay guy says: "Don't worry. They're all asleep. Here, see for yourself." He leans out into the aisle and yells: "Excuse me, can anybody let me have a piece of gum?" There's no answer or any kind of interest. His partner is convinced and they have s**... right then and there.
The plane lands and as the passengers are disembarking there is a stewardess by the exit asking everyone if they had a good flight. One man says, "The flight was fine but I have a horrible headache". The stewardess says: "Oh you poor thing, why didn't you ask for some aspirin?" And the man says: "Are you kidding? I saw what happened to that poor guy who asked for a piece of gum."
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him, the other one is holding the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope comes by;He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.
Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says:
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country, this city is the Seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite."
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about
marketing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
26 blondes and one brunet are on a plane
26 blonde girls and one brunet girls are on a play. They were flying along when they hit some turbulence. The pilot comes onto the speaker and says "the plane is to heavy we need to drop all unnecessary items." The people franticly grab all the thing they don't need and throw it out.
The pilot comes back on the loud speaker and says, "we are still to heavy we have to drop all the luggage." Again the people franticly begin to discard all there luggage.
The pilot comes on again and says "we are still too heavy we have to drop the floor.", so the pilot flicks the switch and everyone is hanging on by s**... the roof. When the pilot says "we are still to heavy someone has to jump.
Everyone is reluctant but finally the brunet (who is around 60) says i have live a long and happy life I will jump to save your live because you are still young and still can make something with your life. I am worn out and poor. I have nothing left.
all the blondes start to clap
Artemis the Strangler
A few years ago, there was a hitman named Artemis who was known and sought after for his uncanny ability to strangle people. One day, he got an assignment from the local mob to take out a man who owed huge amounts of money and was refusing to pay it back. Artemis took the job, but the man turned out to be almost impossible to find. The target would seemingly vanish whenever Artemis was in the vicinity and tracking him was practically impossible.
However, one day Artemis got a call from his boss. The man had been spotted at a local Kroger and, since nobody knew when he would appear again, Artemis was to strangle the man in the store. Artemis was reluctant at first, but he was getting very tired of the long project and agreed to track the man inside.
Luckily, Artemis was able to corner the man in the produce aisle and strangle him. Unluckily, just as he was laying the man's body down, a woman came around the corner. Artemis panicked and in his desperation strangled the woman, only to see a poor store clerk out of the corner of his eye. Artemis strangled this man too. Finally, a manager came around the corner and also met his end.
All of this became too much for Artemis to cover up and he was arrested outside of the store. The next day, the local paper ran the headline:
ARTY CHOKES FOUR FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome
One held a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David. Many people passed by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar holding the Cross.
The Pope came by and stopped to watch the number of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross, while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of David. The Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit here with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just to prove a point."
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turning to the beggar with the Cross, said, "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my grandma what people use to think of democrats and republicans over 70 years ago
*Watching the news with my grandma*
Me: Grammy, when you were really young, did they talk about democrats and republicans, like they do today?
Grandma: What do you mean?
Me: Were they always hostile towards one another, like this lady on the news.
Grandma: Oh yeah, that's one thing that has never changed over the years.
Me: Well, what do you remember people saying about democrats and republicans when you were young.
Me: What is the first thing you remember about it?
Grandma: Well, I always heard the older people say the same thing
Grandma: "Republicans are for the rich, and democrats are for the poor."
Me: What did they say about everyone in the middle?
Grandma: I don't know, they always just talked about getting s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery
"What poor people there are in America," a man tells his comrade, "Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have b**..., and their wine is old!"
WHY I AM SO TIRED
For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.
Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.
What do poor people use for Cologne?
Fabreze
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor People Matirx
*Neo: There is no spoon.*
**BUT IS THERE FOOD?**
How do poor people make it rain?
They don't.
Tell a joke that is well-known in your country
Even jokes that are poorly translated are normally funny because they're so bad.
An example of a well-known British joke is:
'Knock knock'.
'Who's there?'
'Doctor'
'Doctor Who?'
'You just said it'.
It has to be one that if you asked 100 random people in your country most would know it.
*SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God is a comedian.
He gives some people high s**... drives and poor social skills!
People say I have poor grammar
I guess I'm just unarticulate
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are poor people dumb?
They can't **pay** attention in school.
Why do poor people not drive fords?
Because they can't afFORD them.
What are poor people?
Really unFORTUNEate.
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
In an attempt to help the less fortunate, I want to start a charity where people can donate their lightly used weaponry, whether they be guns, knives, tanks, etc so that the poor and disabled can have a sense of security while living on the streets at an affordable price
It could be called the Goodkill
Mile High Club
Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."
Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
Next minute an Englishman stands up and says "in the name of England, I'll jump. God save the queen!" And he jumps.
Finally, a big guy stands up and says "I'm from Texas. And in the name of Texas..." he walks to the back of the plane, picks up a Mexican, and throws him from the plane. "Remember the Alamo."
Worst part is, poor little guy was Hawaiian.
My wife was cleaning the closet last week
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them
Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes
Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
BANG@#$%^&*
I told my deaf friend that people with poor hearing also tend to have poor reflexes.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."
Poor people have it, rich people want it, and if you eat, you'll die. What is it?
Drugs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate it when people boast about not reading books and being poor at spelling
Ignorince isn't a virtue
Why don't BMW's have turn signals?
They do, they just flash at a frequency poor people can't see.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm allowed to make fun of poor people…
…because I'm poor.
Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!
Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
A middle-aged housewife decides to donate her old clothes to charity
Wife: "I've gathered up some old clothes and I need you to drop them off at the church charity."
Husband: *Groaning* " Why not just throw them out? It's easier that way."
Wife: "Because there are people out there who are poor and starving that need these clothes."
Husband: "Darling, anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving."
Poor people don't go on vacations.
They move.
[OC] My poor friend Dave got 3 wishes from a Genie today.
He always wanted loads of money, but instead he spoke to the Genie and said, "I wish for people to be uncertain. Secondly, I also wish to change my name."
I haven't seen him in a while but I think he's Rich now.
If poor people only ate potatoes in Ireland...
then did the well-off eat richtatoes?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know air pods are for poor people.
They can't afford the wires
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
AirPods are for poor people.
They can afford the cords
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor people...
I don't get why there are so many poor people, like I have seen so many people that are so poor that They cannot even afford wires on their in-ear headsets smh...
Its still christmas time
I really appreciate how some people still give gifts to poor guys on the street, even after christmas.
For example yesterday I saw someone giving his credit card and 5k$ to a guy who only had a knife...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People say it's frowned upon in society to talk poorly about the Jews..
They say its bad Jew Jew.
A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor
Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke
A big bar chain opened a bar on Mount Everest.
Naturally a lot of people were really excited to be able to have a few drinks in the highest place in the world.
There was a lot of buzz and excitement about this new bar but when it came to opening day. The opening ceremony was poor, the drinks tasted bad and the service was terrible.
Everyone was bitterly disappointed that the bar did meet their expectations.
A lesson was learnt that day by the owners of the Everest Bar.
Don't set the bar so high.
Two men found many bags full of money. To be grateful, they decided to share it with God, meaning people in need.
The first man drew a line on the floor and said: I'll throw my part through the air, what comes down on the right side is mine, and on the left side is for the poor, that's God's will.
The second man said: I'll throw all my part through the air, and God will give me back what he wants and keep the remainder, that's God's will.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.
The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answerr>when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."
Wife: "I have a lot of my own clothes I'd like to donate."
Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to throw the clothes in the garbage can."
Wife: "Don't be selfish! There are so many poor people who have no clothes and are starving."
Husband: " Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving..."
