The Best 88 Poor Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Poor jokes. There are some poor rich jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poor crummy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Poor Jokes and Puns

Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his pistol back in his pocket.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Poor joke, I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Afric

Street Performance

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"SΓ­."
"Ja."

Husband comes home and says:

Husband comes home and says:
- Honey, I invited a friend to have dinner with us today.
Screaming she replies:
- What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I did not buy any groceries, the dishes are dirty and I'm not in the mood to cook anything special.
- I know.
- So why did you invited him?
- Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married.


When I was a kid, my family was very poor. My dad had to get a second job in the sandpaper factory.

Those were rough times.

^(Made that myself. I'm rather proud.)

I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day...

... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse.

Poor joke, I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day...

What do you call a poor Italian community?

a spaghetto.

An old married couple are driving down the road.

They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.

She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."

"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.

"But what about the smell?" she asks.

The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice..

At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

You can explore poor inadequate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poor yo mama so poor dad jokes. There are also poor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A baby boy was born last week with no eyelids.

They used his foreskin to graft eyelids.

The poor kid is now cockeyed.

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today

Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.

Meanwhile in business news...

...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate

I wish I was poor one day in my life...

Because being poor everyday sucks...

When I was a kid...

... our family was very poor. I remember when my dad was cutting onion and our whole family was crying. Poor onion. He was such a good dog.

Poor joke, When I was a kid...

An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?

The Tooth Fairy.

When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster...

Poor little guy drowned in seconds..


I'm Friends with a Really Poor Guy

He's been down on his luck lately, so he told me that he had to become a male prostitute to make ends meet. One day, he walked up to me and said that he made a really good amount of money the night before.

Me: How much did you make?

Him: I made $250.05.

Me: Who on earth gave you 5 cents?

Him: Everyone.

Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall.

At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.

Where do poor meatballs live?

In the spaghetto.

Kudos to my friend who came up with this.

Four engineers riding in a car -

it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Did you hear about the man who had his right side cut off

He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him.

Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.

"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."

A guy walking into a bar

Β sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.

Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?

The old man replied, You're the eighth.

What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm...

... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.

You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health?

I'm voting for the dying one.

My cousin is so poor....

that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.

A woman was trying on her new fur coat.

Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.

"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"

The woman looked strictly at her daughter.

"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."

A thousand years is a minute to God

A man was speaking to God and he asked him, "God is it true that to you a thousand years is a minute?"
"That's true," God replied.
"And is it true that to you $1,000,000 is like a penny?"
"That's true," God said.
"Well, you see I'm a poor man and I was wondering if you could give me a penny," asked the man.
"Sure," said God, "in a minute."

The Lion with Christian feelings

Once upon a time... there was a missionary walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.

Scared to death, the missionary went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".

After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

"Some, I assume, are good people"

Where do poor noodles live?

The spaghetto.

A Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer juggle.

The juggler notices the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out can you see me now?

Yes

Oui

Si

Ja

At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.'

The poor bartender was crushed to death.

Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds.

Poor guy.

I heard Starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees

Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then

I hate being poor

Sent from my iPhone

A rich, young man walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a few drinks. As he is enjoying his beer, he sees a mentally retarded man outside the building.

Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched the old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?

The old man replied, You're the eighth.

The ladies call me Subway.

Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.

Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper…

Now those days are behind me…

Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but...

Is actually just Poor Execution

Today I donated a watch...

Today I donated a watch and $500 dollars to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put back his knife in his pocket.

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

So I met this nice girl the other day

She said, she's gonna call me after work -- poor girl... She's been working for 72h now.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"SΓ­"
"Ja"

Your mommas so poor

I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

My wife was cleaning the closet last week

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them

Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes

Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

BANG@#$%^&*

Wife tells her husband

Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."

Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."

Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."

Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."

When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me

She had to - we only had one chair

WIFE: - "If I knew you were so poor, I would never have married you."

HUSBAND: - "But I warned you! I said you are everything I have!"

My joke about capital punishment got downvoted.

I guess it was great concept, poor execution.

When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank..

We were too poor for a dog.

Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy.

Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket

I got banned from a Christian dating site

I suppose "hung like Jesus" *was* a poor choice for a username.

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

A man needs WiFi at the local pub.

A man goes into a local pub and has poor cell signal.

He asks for the WiFi password.

The bartender replies: You need to buy a drink first.

The man says fine and orders a Coke, which costs him $3. He then asks again, what's the WiFi password?

The bartender answers: You need to buy a drink first, all lowercase no spaces.

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious today.

Well, I'm assuming she was poor because she had only a dollar in her purse.

Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!

Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

A pregnant woman asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes...

The cashier immediately begins to berate her for such a poor decision. "I can't believe you are being so stupid. Knowing that you are pregnant! You shouldn't buy a single pack until after you've had the baby."

"You're right," the lady replied, "Give me a carton. I'm smoking for two now."

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

Girls used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I make.

Now they also call me poor.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $300 to a poor guy.

You wouldn't believe the immense happiness and relief I felt as he slid the pistol back into his waistband.

What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He can't say 'please' which I think is poor for four

100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city

Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.

Stranger: What is your name, sad lady

Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat

Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.

My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

During lockdown my next door neighbours 4 year old started learning Spanish.

He still can't say 'Please' though, which is poor for four.

You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms?

Poor kid never learned to talk.

My wife called me and said If you're not home from the bar in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.

I was home in 3 minutes, I'd hate for anything to happen to the poor dog.

Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.

But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.

This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid

Normally it's because I'm poor

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.

A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.

He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"

"You're the eighth", the old man answered.

What's considered trashy if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?

Manipulating the stock market

The genie of the lamp

Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor.

The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea.

The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said to the poor : i'll give you my car and my house in exchange of the lamp." The poor accepted the deal.

The rich man wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" he asked for a very big house and a better car.the genie replied : Β« Sorry sir,i only serve tea and coffee Β»

Poor Prince Phillip...

99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.

Genie of the lamp (repost warning).

Two neighbours, one rich, one poor meet at their fence.

The poor one is holding a cup of tea and a lamp : "Every morning, I rub this lamp and a genie comes out and asks : "What do you want?" . I usually ask for a cup of tea.

The rich neighbour gawks, "I'll give you my carΒ and my house in exchange for the lamp." "Wow, Ok", says the poor man.

The rich man rubs the lamp and a genie comes out : "Ask what you want my master".
Rich man laughs: "I want a very big house and a better car. The genie replies : "Sorry sir, I only serve tea and coffee ".

Wife: i'd have stayed single if i'd known how poor you were

Husband: And it was not for lack of warning, cause i always said "You're all i have"

That is astounding Holmes! How did you deduce it was lithium poisoning that ended that poor chap's life?

Element three, my dear Watson.

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.

Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.

Husband: I know all that.

Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

What do you call a poor classical pianist?

Baroque

How many journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three:

One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.

But in the end none of them actually changed the bulb.

A barbarian slave in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter

They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to oral sex only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.

Eventually, though, he was gladiator.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poor miserable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working poor ignorant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes