Poor Jokes
146 poor jokes and hilarious poor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about poor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Poor Short Jokes
Short poor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The poor humour may include short poverty jokes also.
- My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
- Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
- Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day. But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
- Poor Prince Phillip... 99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.
- What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire
- What's heavier, a ton of brick or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
- Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto.
Kudos to my friend who came up with this. - Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
- At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.' The poor bartender was crushed to death.
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Poor One Liners
Which poor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with poor? I can suggest the ones about lousy and broke.
- The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick is that he is a poorly-executed character
- When I was young, I was poor. After many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
- Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy.
- Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian it was the least i could do for the poor fella
- I just read that someone gets stabbed in New York City every 46 seconds. Poor guy.
- Where do poor noodles live? The spaghetto.
- When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank.. We were too poor for a dog.
- The ladies call me subway. Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.
- Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but... Is actually just Poor Execution
- Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living.
- I grew up so poor... That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
- You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms? Poor kid never learned to talk.
- I hate being poor Sent from my iPhone
- Im so poor... That my new years resolution is 144p
- Growing up we were so poor We had to play Dungeons OR Dragons.
So Poor Jokes
Here is a list of funny so poor jokes and even better so poor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy. Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
- I think my wife's cheating on me with my best friend. He's been miserable lately. Poor guy.
- You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
- My joke about capital punishment got downvoted. I guess it was great concept, poor execution.
- My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living. The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
- When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me She had to - we only had one chair
- You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health? I'm voting for the dying one.
- I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.
- After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm... ... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
- I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper… Now those days are behind me…
Poor People Jokes
Here is a list of funny poor people jokes and even better poor people puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. "Some, I assume, are good people"
- I'm so poor…. That when people see me walking down the street with only one flip-flop on they say to me yo Juan you lost a flip flop and I say no I didn't, I found one!
- What do poor people drink? Pover-tea.
- My door to door fruit delivery business failed badly because of my poor people skills. I was driving people bananas.
- I hope that if I ever get rich I won't be mean to poor people Like I am now
(Dark, I know, but one of my favorite deep thoughts) - If the world is a sweatshirt, where do the poor people live? In the hood.
- When I hear people talking about water polo all I can think about is Those poor horses.
- Where do poor people live in Italy? In the spaghetto
- Wife: I want to donate my clothes to people who are poor and starving. Husband: Anyone who fits into your clothes is surely not starving.
- Rich people have... Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell
Poor Husband Jokes
Here is a list of funny poor husband jokes and even better poor husband puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Wife: i'd have stayed single if i'd known how poor you were Husband: And it was not for lack of warning, cause i always said "You're all i have"
Growing Up Poor Jokes
Here is a list of funny growing up poor jokes and even better growing up poor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We were so poor growing up that for breakfast we had Ordinary K.
- When I was growing up, we were so poor... We used to leave the front door open all night, hoping a thief would come in and drop something.
- Where did the poor Italian man grow up? The spaghetto
- I was really poor growing up. If I hadn't been born a boy I'd have had nothing to play with.
- We were so poor when I was growing up, that my mother made us clothes out of the offcuts my dad would bring from home from work at the sandpaper factory. It was rough.
- When I was growing up, we were so poor... ...my father cut holes in my pants pockets so I'd have something to play with.
- We were so poor when I was growing up..... That my dad bought me an air guitar for Christmas.
My friend was even less well off. He asked if he could have my old one!!! - I was so poor growing up and our house was so small that. you could throw one rock through our front window and hit everyone in the house
- I was so poor growing up... For my 12th birthday, I got half a cake with 6 candles next to a mirror.
- When you grow up poor like I did, it's not unusual to be in your twenties without a vehicle or licence... You just sort of learn to run with it.
Amusing & Witty Poor Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about poor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad economy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make poor pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of s**... assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been f**... them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this a**.... Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
An old man in tears
A young man taking a walk in a park comes across an elderly man sitting on a bench in tears. Touched by the poor man's sorrow, he kindly asks, "Please sir, why are you crying?"
The old man replies, "I have a beautiful 21 year old wife who makes love to me every night!"
Confused, the young man replies, "I still don't understand why you're crying."
The elderly man sobs, "I forgot where I live."
Ol' Merl & Ethel
Ol' Merl & Ethel were sitting on the porch, enjoying the summer breeze. Suddenly, Ethel reaches over and smacks poor ol' Merl right out of his chair. "What was that for?" he exclaims. "That's for being such a lousy lover all these years." Well, Merl gets back in his chair, sits quietly for a while, then reaches over and smacks Ethel right back. "And what was that for?" Ol' Merl drawls, "That's for knowing the difference."
When I was a kid, my family was very poor. My dad had to get a second job in the sandpaper factory.
Those were rough times.
^(Made that myself. I'm rather proud.)
poor guy.
The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries...
Until I unpacked them all & said, "That's how I want you to do it."
Blonde Co-Pilot
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor Ajmal.
After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".
Willpower
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
An old married couple are driving down the road.
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
Meanwhile in business news...
...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate
When I was a kid...
... our family was very poor. I remember when my dad was cutting onion and our whole family was crying. Poor onion. He was such a good dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An identity thief and a r**... get convicted in a poor town...
The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the r**... in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?
The Tooth Fairy.
When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster...
Poor little guy drowned in seconds..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen?
They are afraid of triggers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm Friends with a Really Poor Guy
He's been down on his luck lately, so he told me that he had to become a male p**... to make ends meet. One day, he walked up to me and said that he made a really good amount of money the night before.
Me: How much did you make?
Him: I made $250.05.
Me: Who on earth gave you 5 cents?
Him: Everyone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pretty teacher was concerned with
one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a c**...!"
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
A guy walking into a bar
sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.
Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My cousin is so poor....
that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.
A woman was trying on her new fur coat.
Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."
What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?
Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
My grandpa always said...
They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with.
Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?
The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
I saw a poor man fall over today on the street.
At least I presume he was poor - he only had $5 in his wallet.
I used to weep over my poor apple harvest.
Then I grew a pear.
It's pretty disgusting how celebrity parents name their children after cooked rodent.
Poor Chris Pratt
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
So I met this nice girl the other day
She said, she's gonna call me after work -- poor girl... She's been working for 72h now.
I told my dad me and my friend went to the store. He said, "my friend and I went to the store"
Poor guy is losing it, he definitely wasn't there.
My wife was cleaning the closet last week
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them
Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes
Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
BANG@#$%^&*
George and the Dragon
A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.
The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.
"No!" she said rather sternly.
"Could I have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she snapped again.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"
"No!"
By this time, she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond tried again: "Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.
"Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
WIFE: - "If I knew you were so poor, I would never have married you."
HUSBAND: - "But I warned you! I said you are everything I have!"
I got banned from a Christian dating site
I suppose "hung like Jesus" *was* a poor choice for a username.
An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer
The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"
My Grandfather died in Auschwitz
Poor guy fell out of the guard tower
Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!
Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
Heart-Attacks are overrated
I mean your heart works non-stop all of your life, would it kill you if the poor guy took a break for 5 minutes ?
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pregnant woman asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes...
The cashier immediately begins to berate her for such a poor decision. "I can't believe you are being so s**.... Knowing that you are pregnant! You shouldn't buy a single pack until after you've had the baby."
"You're right," the lady replied, "Give me a carton. I'm smoking for two now."
I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...
So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.
100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.
My wife called me and said If you're not home from the bar in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.
I was home in 3 minutes, I'd hate for anything to happen to the poor dog.
My daughter has been learning Spanish for a year now but still can't say please
Which I think is poor for four
This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid
Normally it's because I'm poor
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's considered t**... if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
The genie of the lamp
Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor.
The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea.
The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said to the poor : i'll give you my car and my house in exchange of the lamp." The poor accepted the deal.
The rich man wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" he asked for a very big house and a better car.the genie replied : « Sorry sir,i only serve tea and coffee »
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A barbarian s**... in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter
They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to o**... s**... only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia
When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:
"d**... this country, we are so poor, I haven't been able to get a loaf of bread in days"
A policeman hears that and approaches the man.
"Stop saying things like that or..." the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says "Bang!"
The man is stunned and walks home.
The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:
"What happened? Did we run out of flour again?"
The man weakly replies:
"Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!"
A man living in the Soviet union is queuing up for bread...
when he gets to the front he is told there is none left.
Annoyed, the man goes on a tirade, complaining about the poor conditions and the incompetence of the government.
A soldier, hearing this, says to him, "you better be careful. In the old days it would have been...", the soldier points his gun at the man's head, "...bang!"
The man apologises and shuffles off. When he gets back home his wife asks him, "husband, your hands are empty! Have they run out of bread again?"
To which the man replies, "it's even worse than that. They've run out of bullets!"
