The Best 88 Poor Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Poor jokes. There are some poor rich jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poor you re so poor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Poor Jokes and Puns
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his pistol back in his pocket.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Street Performance
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."
Husband comes home and says:
Husband comes home and says:
- Honey, I invited a friend to have dinner with us today.
Screaming she replies:
- What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I did not buy any groceries, the dishes are dirty and I'm not in the mood to cook anything special.
- I know.
- So why did you invited him?
- Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married.
When I was a kid, my family was very poor. My dad had to get a second job in the sandpaper factory.
Those were rough times.
^(Made that myself. I'm rather proud.)
I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day...
... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse.
What do you call a poor Italian community?
a spaghetto.
An old married couple are driving down the road.
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice..
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
You can explore poor inadequate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poor yo mama so poor dad jokes. There are also poor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A baby boy was born last week with no eyelids.
They used his foreskin to graft eyelids.
The poor kid is now cockeyed.
I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today
Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.
I wish I was poor one day in my life...
Because being poor everyday sucks...
An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...
The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."
Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?
The Tooth Fairy.
I'm Friends with a Really Poor Guy
He's been down on his luck lately, so he told me that he had to become a male prostitute to make ends meet. One day, he walked up to me and said that he made a really good amount of money the night before.
Me: How much did you make?
Him: I made $250.05.
Me: Who on earth gave you 5 cents?
Him: Everyone.
Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall.
At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
Where do poor meatballs live?
In the spaghetto.
Kudos to my friend who came up with this.
Why are pizza makers always poor?
Because they knead dough to make a living.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
A guy walking into a bar
sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.
Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm...
... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health?
I'm voting for the dying one.
My cousin is so poor....
that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.
A woman was trying on her new fur coat.
Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."
A thousand years is a minute to God
A man was speaking to God and he asked him, "God is it true that to you a thousand years is a minute?"
"That's true," God replied.
"And is it true that to you $1,000,000 is like a penny?"
"That's true," God said.
"Well, you see I'm a poor man and I was wondering if you could give me a penny," asked the man.
"Sure," said God, "in a minute."
The Lion with Christian feelings
Once upon a time... there was a missionary walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.
Scared to death, the missionary went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".
After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".
Where do poor noodles live?
The spaghetto.
At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.'
The poor bartender was crushed to death.
Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds.
Poor guy.
I heard Starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees
Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then
A rich, young man walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a few drinks. As he is enjoying his beer, he sees a mentally retarded man outside the building.
Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched the old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
The ladies call me Subway.
Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.
Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?
The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper…
Now those days are behind me…
Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but...
Is actually just Poor Execution
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.
The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
Your mommas so poor
I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"
My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.
The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
My wife was cleaning the closet last week
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them
Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes
Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
BANG@#$%^&*
Wife tells her husband
Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."
When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me
She had to - we only had one chair
WIFE: - "If I knew you were so poor, I would never have married you."
HUSBAND: - "But I warned you! I said you are everything I have!"
My joke about capital punishment got downvoted.
I guess it was great concept, poor execution.
When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank..
We were too poor for a dog.
Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy.
Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer
The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"
A man needs WiFi at the local pub.
A man goes into a local pub and has poor cell signal.
He asks for the WiFi password.
The bartender replies: You need to buy a drink first.
The man says fine and orders a Coke, which costs him $3. He then asks again, what's the WiFi password?
The bartender answers: You need to buy a drink first, all lowercase no spaces.
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious today.
Well, I'm assuming she was poor because she had only a dollar in her purse.
Girls used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I make.
Now they also call me poor.
What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
The feathers.
Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.
My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.
He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms?
Poor kid never learned to talk.
My wife called me and said If you're not home from the bar in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.
I was home in 3 minutes, I'd hate for anything to happen to the poor dog.
Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.
But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid
Normally it's because I'm poor
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.
What's considered trashy if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
The genie of the lamp
Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor.
The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea.
The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said to the poor : i'll give you my car and my house in exchange of the lamp." The poor accepted the deal.
The rich man wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" he asked for a very big house and a better car.the genie replied : « Sorry sir,i only serve tea and coffee »
Poor Prince Phillip...
99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.
A barbarian slave in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter
They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to oral sex only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.
Every fifteen seconds someone in London gets stabbed.
Poor guy.
A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia
When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:
"Damn this country, we are so poor, I haven't been able to get a loaf of bread in days"
A policeman hears that and approaches the man.
"Stop saying things like that or..." the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says "Bang!"
The man is stunned and walks home.
The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:
"What happened? Did we run out of flour again?"
The man weakly replies:
"Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!"
I just read that someone gets stabbed in New York City every 46 seconds.
Poor guy.
Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian
it was the least i could do for the poor fella
You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism
But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
When I was young I was poor, but after decades of hard work
I'm no longer young.
I think my wife's cheating on me with my best friend.
He's been miserable lately. Poor guy.
I grew up so poor...
That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor guy, why are they doing this to him?
A man living in the Soviet union is queuing up for bread...
when he gets to the front he is told there is none left.
Annoyed, the man goes on a tirade, complaining about the poor conditions and the incompetence of the government.
A soldier, hearing this, says to him, "you better be careful. In the old days it would have been...", the soldier points his gun at the man's head, "...bang!"
The man apologises and shuffles off. When he gets back home his wife asks him, "husband, your hands are empty! Have they run out of bread again?"
To which the man replies, "it's even worse than that. They've run out of bullets!"
A little old lady gets arrested for stealing a can of peaches from a grocery store.
At the trial, the judge asks her why she stole a can of peaches. She replies, "Your Honor, my husband and I don't have much, and we are very poor. I was simply trying to do something about my hunger."
The judge, feeling sorry for the old lady, asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"6," the old lady responded.
"Then," the judge said, "you will spend one day in jail for each peach, for a total of 6 days."
"Your Honor," spoke her husband, "she also stole a can of peas!"
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Because we are very efficient and have a poor sense of humor.
My 4-year-old has been learning Spanish all year and still can't say the word please
Which I think is poor for four.
What do you call an area with a large amount of poor Italians?
The Spaghetto
Little Johnny came late to school one day.
"Why are you late, Johnny?" Asked his teacher.
"Well," explained Johnny. "Just round the corner, there was a poor old lady looking everywhere for a £20 she lost. She was looking for half an hour! I couldn't walk away."
"I see. That's really nice of you to help her."
Johnny replied "Help her? No, I was standing on it."
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish at school and still doesn't know the word for please…
I think that's poor for four.
When I was young.
I was very poor. After many many years of struggling I am no longer young.
I love women with tattoos
It shows a history of poor decision making which generally works in my favor.
I can see why Paul Walker jokes aren't funny anymore.
Poor guy can't catch a "brake".
(P.S. Happy Birthday Paul Walker. I wish u were still here)
Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat
in a high-end department store. Do you realize, Sarah says, that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat? Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps, Think about how much I've suffered! And don't call your father an animal.
When I was young, I was very poor.
After years of struggle, I'm no longer young.
What's considered trashy if you're poor but class if you're rich?
Florida
"Poor Old fool thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub…
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poor poor taste puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working poor you are so poor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.