Poop Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Poop puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Poop

Just pooped my pants.

Which is weird, because I don't even remember eating them.

Pooping is kinda like being in a relationship...

It's amazing at first but when it's over you feel empty inside.

I wouldn't say pooping is my favorite activity.....

But it's a solid number two.

Pooping is depressing...

You just sit there til you feel empty inside...

How does baby Yoda pooped when he was constipated?

He forces it out.

Pirate pick-up lines

I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest.

Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.

See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.

Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?

Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.

I've hidden booty all over the Caribbean โ€” but never have I seen one like yours!

That's NOT my parrot talking, Sweetie!

That's a lovely pair of 8-pounders you have there.

My peg-leg's ribbed for your pleasure.

Why not climb my main mast and I'll visit your crow's nest.

What does poop smoke?

Butt crack.

Everyone knows that girls don't poop, but I'm starting to think they don't get naked too

I don't know about you but I've never seen one

What kind of window helps you poop?


So a pirate walks into a bar and sits down next to a man.

The man says, How did you get your peg leg?

The pirate says, A cannon blew me leg straight off.

The man asks, How did you get your hook?

The pirate says, I lost it in a sword fight.

The man asks, How did you get your eye patch?

The pirate says, I was looking at the clouds and a seagull pooped in my eye.

The man says, You lost your eye because of poop?

The pirate says, Nay, it was my first day with the hook.

My son swalled a bunch of scrabble tiles.

His next poop could spell disaster.

It is said that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.

Poop! /s

Two pieces of poop are having a heated argument. A cup of urine tries to calm them down. One of the poops says Hey, screw off...

...this is a fecal matter!

Pooping in public is fine for me

That's what I used to think before I got arrested

Old folks home

Three old fellas are seated on the front porch of their old folks home. The first one says " I like this place but the only problem I have is I can't pee first thing in the morning. " The second guy says I like our place too It's really really nice but I can't poop first thing in the morning. " The third guy says about 6:00 every morning I pee like a racehorse. And then about 8:00 in the morning I crap so good it would amaze you. Only problem I have is I don't wake up till 9:00.

โ€žI recently started to measure how much I poop. โ€žYeah, I do that too: I jump on the scale before and after doing my business.

โ€žWell, ... that's another way to do it.

When you say poop your mouth moves the same way your a-hole does.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea".

Little girl with poop on her arm joke

Mom plays hilarious prank on daughter. LesLee Davis was on the toilet in her house in Aztec (US) and decided to prank her daughter Adilee. She put peanut butter on her arm and pretended it was poo. When the little girl saw it and almost threw up she told her the truth.
Watch it here

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes