The Best 85 Poof Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Poof jokes. There are some poof reappear jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poof blam puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Poof Jokes and Puns
What is the sound of a homophobic magician?
"POOF!"
Blonde Thinks
A woman with green hair, a woman with red hair and a woman with blonde hair find mirror. A lady appears in the mirror and says, tell me something you think are true and you'll be rich. Tell me something that is not true and you die. The woman with green hair says: "I think I'm pretty." POOF! She's dead. The woman with red says: "I think I have a soul." POOF! She's dead. The woman with blonde hair says: "I think..." POOF! She's dead.
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the Blacks and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
Yet another genie in the lamp joke
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Poof! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
A wizard walked into a gay bar
and disappeared with a poof.
Black guy and Jewish Genie
A black man is walking along the beach one day, when he finds a bottle. He picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Jewish Genie.
"I vill grant you 3 vishes"
Without hesitating, the man says "I wanna be White, Tight, and out of sight!"
*POOF*
He turns into a tampon ....
What's the moral of the story?
You never get anything from a Jew, without a string attached.
Magical Mirror
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. I think I'm the smartest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.
The redhead goes up to try. I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.
The blonde goes up. I think– POOF!"
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.
''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – poof! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''
Mexican Magician
There was a Mexican Magician standing on the stage. He said, "On the count of three, I will make myself disappear!"
"Uno!"
"Dos!"
POOF! He disappeared without a trés!
The Mexican Magician
A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" POOF! The horse disappears.
You can explore poof fades reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poof genie dad jokes. There are also poof puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Hispanic Magician
So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.
Three men are trapped on a desert island
When they find a tea pot. The first man rubs it an out comes a genie, "you have 3 wishes."
Man 1: "I wish I was at a party in the city!"
POOF he disappeared
Man 2: "I wish a was at my house with a beer!"
POOF he disappeared
Man 3: "I'm lonely now... I wish my friends were with me."
I once saw a Mexican magician
He pulled me on stage and said he would make me disappear by the count of three. I didn't believe. Without warning he started counting. "Uno...Dos..." and *Poof*. I was gone without a Tres.
Rene Descartes walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, "will you be having a drink tonight?"
Descartes replies, "I think not."
And POOF, he disappears.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead lost in the desert...
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A magician walks into a gay bar
and disappears with a poof.
Joe was heading towards the end of a round of golf...
...when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life.
Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!
Then POOF! she was gone!
After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you?
Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows.
Joe shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, BILL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING !
How did the gay wizard dissappear?
He went with a poof!
Philosophy Joke
Descartes is in a bar and has had many drinks. He then asks the bartender for another beer.
"Are you sure you can handle another? You've had a lot" the bartender asks.
Descartes replies, "I think not!"
*poof*
And he disappeared.
A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF*
He disappeared without a tres.
Genie Lamp
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A horse walks into a bar...
...and the bartender says "are you feeling all right?" The horse replies,"I don't think I am," *POOF* the horse disappears. This is of course a joke referencing the famous quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained this ahead of time but I didn't want to put *Descartes* before the horse.
A Spanish speaking magician
A Spanish speaking magician says that he will disappear on the count of three. "Uno.. Dos.." and poof! He was gone without a tres.
There was a Spanish magician who said he could disappear.
He said he would disappear on the count of 3.
He said "Unos... Dos..."
**POOF**
And then he disappeared without a tres.
Alcoholic Horse
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?
The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and poof he disappears.
This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am.
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.
How do you know if a wizards gay?
It disappears with a poof.
Three girls are stuck on an island
They find a lamp and a genie comes out of it. He grants them each one wish. The brunette girl wishes to go home and see her family. *poof* shes gone. The redhead wishes also go go home to see her family. *poof* shes gone. The genie comes to the blonde girl and sees that shes crying. He asks "why are you crying?". She responds "I wish my friends were back".
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "You come here a lot; are you an alcoholic?" The horse ponders this for a moment and says, "I don't think I am."
POOF! The horse disappears.
At this point, a psychology student would begin to snicker because he knows about the Descartes postulate, "I think therefore I am."
I could have told you about that at the beginning of the joke, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
Did you hear about the homosexual magician?
He disappeared in a poof.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican performs a magic trick.
He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. . .
. . .and orders a beer. When he finishes is, the barkeep asks "Have another?" Descartes replies "I think not."
. . .and POOF. He vanishes.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch
The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"
The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*Poof!* the brunette disappears.
The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*Poof!* the redhead disappears.
The blonde says, "I think..." *Poof!*
A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin air. He counted down: uno, dos, then POOF!
He was gone, without a tres.
A woman found a magic lamp on the beach, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
"Ask me anything and it's yours!" She thought a moment and then answered, "I want my husband to pay more attention to me, to protect me, to take me out frequently, to sleep close to me, and to be more caring, even if I get a tiny scratch." "No problem." And POOF! She was a smartphone!
Did you hear about the Mexican magician?
He was going to make him self disappear on the count of three. He begins by shouting "UNO! DOS!" then POOF! He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...
He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, poof! He disappeared without a tres.
I once saw an incredible disappearing Mexican magician...he would come on stage and say, "Uno, Dos..." And poof!
He was gone without a Tres
A couple was walking on a beach when one tripped over a bottle and a genie came out.
You can each have one wish, said the genie. The wife made her wish first I would like to travel around the world, with my husband, .
Suddenly there appeared in her hand two tickets for travel around the world. Now it was the husbands turn, Well said the husband, with a naughty look on his face I wish I can have a younger companion, .
The words were barely out of his mouth when poof, he aged 20 years!
A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.
"Uno, dos..." *poof* he disappeared without a tres.
An Irish man frees a genie
and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.
The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."
So *poof* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it back on the bar, it's filled up again.
"So, what would you like for your other two wishes, sir?"
"I want two more of these, then!"
Have you heard about the homosexual wizard?
He disappeared with a poof
Magic carpet
A blonde , a brunette and a red head walk into a carpet store and spot a talking magic carpet.
It spoke, "if you step on me and lie, you will disappear with a POOF!"
The brunette steps on first and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in town."
She vanished with a POOF!
The red head steps on the carpet and says, "I think I'm the smartest girl in town."
She vanished with a POOF!
The blonde steps on the carpet and says, "I think-"
She vanished with a POOF!
There was once a Mexican magician.
At the end of his act, he said "On the count of three I will vanish! Uno....dos..."
And poof! He disappeared without a tres
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3
He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres
There is a magic mirror that will make anyone who lies disappear.
First, an old lady stands before it and tells herself, "I think I look young." And *POOF* she vanishes.
Next, an ugly woman looks at her reflection and says, "I think I am beautiful." And *POOF* she also disappears.
Then, a blonde woman takes her turn with the mirror. "I think..." and *POOF* she's gone.
A Mexican magician was finishing up his act...
It was time for his big finale.
"And now, for my final trick, I will make myself disappear on the count of three!"
"Uno! Dos!"
POOF!
He was gone without a tres.
A Mexican magician stands before his audience.
And for my last trick. I will disappear on the count of 3... Uno. Dos. *Poof* and the magician vanished, without a tres.
An old lady was cleaning an ancient lamp in her attic
And then poof , a genie appeared and asked if he can grant 3 wishes for her .
The old lady said
- I want to be young and beautiful again
- I want to very rich
- my cat should become a handsome prince
Poof the next moment she is young , sitting in her palace and her cat now transformed into a prince started crying ..
She asked what happened ?
Cat : I guess you forgot the time you had me neutered !!
"Dad, can you make me a sandwich?"
Poof, you're a sandwich
Three men meet a genie and are given a single wish.
The first man wishes to be invisible, poof! he turns invisible but gets run over by a truck and drops down dead.
The second man wishes for 100 million dollars, poof! he gets the money but is robbed and shot and drops down dead.
The third man sees this and figures out that the other men were selfish and that's what got them killed so he wishes for world peace, poof! and 7.3 billion people drop down dead.
A Spanish magician told told his audience "On the count of 3 I will make myself disappear! UNO.... DOS....
And *POOF* he was gone without a tres.
Rene Descartes walked in to a bar.
Barkeep asks " Do you want a drink?"
Descartes says "I think not," and poof. He's gone.
Three men got stranded on an island and found a genie's lamp
The first man said, "I wish I was back home with my family."
*Poof*, he was gone.
The second man said, "I wish I were living in a mansion in California."
*Poof*, he was gone.
The third man thought and paced for a bit, then finally groaned and said, "This is too hard! I wish my friends were here to help me figure this out!"
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a desert island. One day a bottle washes up and of course there is a genie in it who pops out and grants them one wish each.
The brunette says " that's easy - I wish to go home" and POOF her wish was granted.
The redhead is next and says "I wish I was at home" and POOF her wish is granted.
The genie looks at the blond and she says "I can't decide... I wish my friends were here to help me..."
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...
And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.
Descartes walks into a bar.
He orders a drink and finishes it. The bartender asks if he wants another.
"I think not," says Descartes.
Poof. He disappears.
A man walks into the bar and takes a stool next to a duck on the bar...
Man: what's with the duck?
Bartender: oh he's magic
M: what?
B: magic... So you whisper your greatest desire in his ear and immediately he grants it
M: no way
B: try it!
The man leans into the ducks ear and whispers something and *poof* a small man in a suit with tails and a white bow tie appears on the bar.
M: well it must be broken because I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist...
Hey Descartes, I bet I can beat you in a footrace!
I think not! Descartes replies.
And poof!
He instantly disappears.
3 Guys on an island
3 guys are stranded on an island and one day they find a bottle.
When they pick it up a genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish.
The first guys says "I wish I was home" Poof.. He goes home.
The second guy says "I wish I was home" Poof.. He goes home.
The third guy says "I'm lonely, I wish the other 2 guys were back here"
There was a famous Mexican magician.
His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *poof*! He would disappear without a tres.
3 men find a genie's lamp in a huge desert. The genie tells them they each get one wish.
The first guy wishes to be with his family.
POOF
He's gone.
The second guy wishes to be on an island.
POOF
He's gone
Third guy wishes for his friends to be with him.
POOF
The first two guys are back.
A Spanish magician was about to attempt a vanishing act...
"On the count of 3, I will have vanished from the stage!"
"Uno!"
"Dos!"
\*Poof\*
He disappeared without a tres!
A blonde, redhead and a brunette
A blonde, redhead and a brunette are lost and have found a magic lamp, and rubbed it. A genie appears and grants them 3 wishes in total.
The redhead wished to be back home.
Poof, she was back home.
The brunette wished to be back with her family.
Poof, she was back with her family.
The blonde said: Wow! I wish my friends were here.
A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.
I don't think I am. the horse replies.
*poof*
The horse disappears.
This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .
But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
The Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, dos, poof."
He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'Uno, dos… and poof!
He disappeared without a tres.
Mexican Magician
Uno... Dos... Poof
He disappeared...
Without a tres.
A magician turns into his driveway
poof
A Mexican Magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says, Uno, Dos........ *poof*....... he disappeared without a tres.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, " you're in here alot, are you an alcoholic?"
The horse ponders for a moment and responds " I don't think I am" and poof he disappears.
This is where philosophy students begin to snicker because they are familiar with Descartes postulate,
" I think therefore I am."
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear at the count of 3.
He goes,"Uno, Dos...." and POOF!
He disappears without a Tres.
Did you hear about the gay magician?
He disappeared with a poof.
A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist
In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.
A mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos poof
He disappeared without a tres
Man finds a lamp
He rubs it and pop the genie comes out.
Genie: I shall grant you three wishes.
Man: I wish for a world with no Lawyers.
Genie: Poof! Done, now you have no more wishes.
Man: but you said three.
Genie: Whatcha gonna do? Sue me!
A short joke for my cakeday
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician
My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.
And he started counting "Uno...."
"Dos.... "
And poof, he was gone. Without a Tres.
Random person asks the genie saying i wish i didn't exist
-Random person asks the genie saying: i wish i didn't exist
-genie: *poof* granted
-person : nothng changed
-genie : Look agan
A Mexican magician says that he'll disappear on the count of three.
Uno… dos… POOF!
He disappeared without a tres.
A competition is held to determine who is the world's best magician
David Blaine performs first with his famous trick. He waves his hand, and, *poof*, the card disappears.
David Copperfield performs next. He waves his hand, and, *poof*, the Statue of Liberty disappears.
Finally, a guy with a beard dressed in rags and sandals comes on stage. Nobody expects him to best the world's most famous magicians. But he waves his hand, and, *poof*...
...the 300,000-man strong Afghan National Army disappears.
All these Texas troubles reminds me of a joke. Two guys walking down a beach and find a magic lamp. Rub it and a Genie pops out. He says, "You get one wish each for me to grant!" First guy says ok I got it. TEXAS is the best state ever. I want....
You to build a huge massive wall around the border and make it so no one can come in or out and the world can not see in. Genie says ok wish granted and poof giant wall around Texas appears.
Second guy, thinks and thinks and goes ok. Genie I want you to fill Texas with water.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poof suddenly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working poof grant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.