The Best 33 Poodle Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Poodle jokes. There are some poodle elephant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poodle doberman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Poodle Jokes and Puns

two dogs at the vet

A great dane and a poodle are in nearby kennels at a vet's office.

Poodle: "I get overly excited and pee on the floor when my owner comes home. His evil wife is having me put to sleep. What are you in for?"

Dane: "That's too bad. I got way too excited when my owner started doing Bikram yoga. I couldn't help it...I started humping her like crazy."

Poodle: "So is she putting you down too?"

Dane: "Naw, I'm just getting my nails done."

A good groaner

What do you get when you combine an elephant and a poodle?

A dead poodle, split in half.

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

Poodle joke, What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Great Dane: So what are you here for?

Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for sex so they're having me castrated, you?

Great Dane: My mistress does the housework naked, she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.

Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?

Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.


What's the smelliest breed of dog?

A poo-dle

what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix?

A cockadockapoo.

Poodle joke, what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix?

What do you get when you cross: A Cocker Spaniel, A Poodle, and A Rooser

A CockerPoodleDoo

Still my favorite joke even after 35 yrs :)

Why are poodles suspicious of strangers?

Because they're afraid of running into a poodaphile.

It's raining cats and dogs outside. Know how I can tell?

I stepped in a poodle.

What do you get when you breed a poodle with an elephant?

One dead poodle, split into two halves.

You can explore poodle pooch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poodle collie dad jokes. There are also poodle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the shittiest dog race?

The poo-dle!

I'll be seeing myself out :/

What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg?

You let the pit bull finish.

What's the most popular soup in China?

Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo

What do you get when you come across a Rooster, a poodle, and a ghost?

Cock-a-Poodle-Boo!!!

My wife and I recently adopted 2 children from china and I came home today to find them trying to cook my poodle.

Immediately I repeated what I said this morning.
"No kids! I said WALK the dog!"

Poodle joke, My wife and I recently adopted 2 children from china and I came home today to find them trying to co

Can I sell kayak equipment if my dog peed on it?

Can I peddle a paddle if it's in a puddle of poodle piddle?

What do you get if you cross a cocker-spaniel with a poodle and a rooster?

A Cockerpoodledoo!

I love that new Korean vegetarian snack pot.

Not Poodle


Poodle: My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I'm as nervous as a cat. Collie: Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?

Poodle: I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch.

What do you get if you melt a shitzhu?

A poodle

Where did the widowed poodle go to vacation?

Barkelona

What do you get when you hit a poodle with a bulldozer?

A puddle

what do you get if you cross a poodle with a pit bull?

not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip.

China have announced their new rage of meat free snacks.

"Not Poodle"

Hilarious Joke

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.

Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the collie.

I can't, says the poodle. I'm not allowed on the couch.

Ruined a brand new pair of shoes.

It's raining cats and dogs out and I stepped in a poodle.

Why must you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle.

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.

Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."

Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"

Poodle: "That's not gonna work"

Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"

Poodle: "...No"

Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"

How do you know it's raining cats and dogs?

When you walk outside and step in a poodle.

Man it was really raining cats and dogs today.

Sure hope I don't step in a poodle.

A pissed drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...

When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.

He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"

The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"

The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:

"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."

A poodle and a collie are walking together

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.

Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the collie.

I can't, says the poodle. I'm not allowed on the couch.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poodle schnauzer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working poodle dog piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes