The Best 33 Polls Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Polls jokes. There are some polls ballot jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these polls candidates puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Polls Jokes and Puns

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?

Strippers don't rig their polls.

I'm planning on starting a strip club....

... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.


I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.


The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".

The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.

Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.

When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.

Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.

Polls joke, Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.

Donald Trump is so far behind in the polls...

....it reminds me of the night he won the Presidency.

Why does Warsaw get nervous during its neighbor's election season?

Because of Germans rushing to the polls!


What do strippers and presidential candidates have in common?

They both go up and down polls

What's the difference between a scientist and a magician?

One pulls rabbits out of hats and the other polls habits out of rats

Polls joke, What's the difference between a scientist and a magician?

What do strippers and Hillary Clinton have in common?

They rely too much on polls

Why are strippers such good politicians?

'Cause they're good on the polls.

With the current outlook on UK exit polls...

It looks like june is the end of May

They say Trump isn't appealing to minorities...

...but according to the latest polls, he's winning 100% of the Naive American vote

You can explore polls nomination reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean polls pollster dad jokes. There are also polls puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Donald trump

The last American president was black, polls suggest that the next president will be Donald trump.....

Huh. I guess orange is the new black

Bill Clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker

is ahead 12 points in the polls.

I went to HomeDepot to get polls for making a clothesline and they said they don't carry them in stock anymore.

They said they only carry them on-line.

I told my mom I was going to go work the polls.

She replied, "don't forget to wipe it down before you start your set."

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes ~~poles~~ polls

How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words? It hard :(

Polls joke, Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

America is in a steep decline. Recent polls show 84% of Americans have used weed

I usually dump out the pipe after i use it.

I just found the best joke ever...

All the polls that predicted Hillary winning by double digits.

CNN is like a strip club...

They keep dancing around all the polls.


On the fifth day to election, the public gave to me...

Five Gallup polls
Four awful choices
Three Trump Steaks
Two more WikiLeaks
And a cache of Clinton emails!

What's the difference between a Bernie Sanders supporter and a fat stripper?

A fat stripper actually gets to the polls.

There is a Polish supermarket around the corner from my house.

I tried to go there after the last election, but the polls were closed.

After scoring shockingly low in coffee preference polls, Dunkin Donuts changed its slogan:

America sleeps on Dunkin

If driving a disabled friend to the polls in order to jump the line is wrong, I don't want to be right.

And if leaving her there after I found out who she was voting for is wrong, then wrong be I.

It just goes to show you, you can get a lot of people to vote by just saying "GO TO THE POLLS"

Without prefacing it with "Pokemon"

What is Nintendo's most requested game today?

Pokemon Go to the Polls!

Seriously though, try this game and go vote

"Come on everybody let's hit the polls like our lives depend on it!"

- Stormy Daniels

My daughter keeps refreshing the latest election results.

And my only goal in life was to keep her off the polls.

I met this really hot girl while I was working the polls...

ID'd her real good.

Welcome to the United States of America

where everything is made up, and the polls don't matter!

How many pollsters does it take to change a light bulb?

One, plus or minus one.

Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls?

Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts.

If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type,

I could lead in the Republican Primary polls.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the polls voter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working polls gop piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes