The Best 44 Poll Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Poll jokes. There are some poll survey jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these poll election puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Poll Jokes and Puns

I took a poll recently

and 100% of people were annoyed with their tent falling down.

Me- "Do you know in middle east most of married girls can't even vote on Facebook opinion poll".

Friend- "That's not true, there is no such law anywhere in middle east".
Me- "Yeah, but you need to be above 13 to use Facebook".

According to a recent poll 9 out of 10 people have never had Steak Tartare.

Apparently it's very rare.

Poll joke, According to a recent poll 9 out of 10 people have never had Steak Tartare.

A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy.

98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study,

it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

A recent poll posed the question, "Would you ever have sex with Bill Clinton?"

70% of American women said, "Never again."

The year is 2089. All policemen have been replaced by genetically modified dogs.

The amount of people killed by police yearly went down 90% and a recent poll that asked "Do you like the police?" showed that public opinion of the force went up 64%.

How was this accomplished?

Dogs are colorblind.

The U.N. initiates a poll...

The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."

The poll was a total failure.

The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".

Poll joke, The U.N. initiates a poll...

Two Pollocks go fishing

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing on a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other says "well, just make sure you mark the spot!" After they get back on shore, the first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat. The other polack says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat tomorrow?"

My Pollish grandma was telling me about one of the worst periods of her life

She called it the concentration cramp

How can you tell that there's too much pollen in the air?

Drug addicts are turning meth back into sudafed

They recently took a poll asking, "Who is the best dog in the world."

"You are! Yes, you are!" won in a landslide.

You can explore poll ballot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean poll questionnaire dad jokes. There are also poll puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

In a recent poll, 80% of Japanese women admitted to having faked origami.

CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk

They all hate the 1% though

A poll was taken by 2,000 prostitutes asking if they would have sex with Ted Cruz.

91% said 'Never Again .

The pollen is so bad this year in Phoenix...

that tweekers are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.

They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel

52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility

Poll joke, They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

Donald Trump Was Right About Two Things

1. That every poll which showed him inevitably losing were incorrect


2. That the results were rigged

Some people say that firefighters need more money,

So a poll was taken, and they all fell through the floor.

Are the Polish for or against abductions?

Maybe I should take a poll

The pollen count is so high

Meth users are trying to convert their meth back to Sudafed

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

A Cosmopolitan magazine poll revealed that 29% of women have never masturbated.

Meanwhile, 29% of men masturbated just reading about the poll.

76% of horses prefer running to walking ...

According to a recent gallop poll.

Roy Moore is projected to lose the election by just 1%, according to a new poll.

Roy Moore is taking the news well, as he actually prefers to come in a little behind!

I wanted to know how many people have actually left Facebook

So I set up a Facebook poll, so far no responses.

A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats.

The only answer they got back was "Yes."

They took a poll one day about womens' legs...

Around 6% said they liked fat legs...
Around 3% said they liked skinny legs
The other 91% said they preferred something in between.

According to a new 2018 opinion poll:

Penises are out and Vaginas are in.

What pollinated most of the world's crops and doesn't take any of the credit?

A humblebee

A poll was taken in California, asking if people thought illegal immigration was a serious problem. 29 percent said, 'Yes, it is a serious problem.'

71 percent said, 'No es un problema serio.'

New poll shows that the majority Bernie Sander's supporters like whole milk

But they hate 1%

My family did a poll: Should we get grandmother a large deer?

In the end it was a unannymoose decision

A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All...

...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support 69 for All

Pollen is what happens when flowers

can't keep it in their plants.

I recently took a poll and found out

100% of campers were angry when their tent collapsed

My daughter has decided to become a poll worker this election year...

She decided it sounded better than putting "stripper" on her resume.

A recent poll found that just over 40% of Americans consider themselves political pundits.

This is interesting, because the same poll found that just under 15% of Americans know what the word pundit means.

My wife told me she is a poll worker.

I'm just surprised they pay her in all singles.

I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.

Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.

How did the stripper know she was the most popular dancer at the club?

She took a poll.

What's the most attention grabbing way to advertise a political candidate?

Poll dancing

The pollen is so bad this year...

The drug dealers are trying to turn their meth back into Sudafed.

I'm doing a poll:


Yay, or....?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the poll involvement jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working poll pollster piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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