The Best 69 Politics Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Politics jokes. There are some politics tics jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these politics caucus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Politics Jokes and Puns

I told my son, You will marry the girl I choose.


He said, NO!

I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.

He said, OK.

I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.

Bill Gates said, NO.

I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.

Bill Gates said, OK.

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.

He said, NO.

I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.

He said, OK.

This is how politics works.

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

What do you call disabled people that follow politics?

A special interest group.

Politics joke, What do you call disabled people that follow politics?

I have degrees in Politics, Economics and Psychology.

I don't have a job but at least I know why.

Bernie Sanders is so fed up with the BS in politics that he is changing his name.

He's changing it to Ernie Anders.


I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance.

Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

Politics is like a car

you press "D" to go forward and "R" to go back

Politics joke, Politics is like a car

Politics is like a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Gun beats everything.

What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

one is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief

the other is pro wrestling.

Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...

and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"

The word politics is derived from two words

The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood sucking parasite.

You can explore politics political reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean politics trump dad jokes. There are also politics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,

If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

We use a very accurate term to describe our government.

Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.

What do you call 3 mentally handicapped people applying for the same job?

American politics

A Trump supporter, a Sanders supporter and a Clinton supporter are being interviewed.

The question asked was 'what do you think of morals in politics'?
The Sanders supporter says: politics? What is politics?
The Clinton supporter says: morals? What is morals?
The Trump supporter says: think? What is think?

An egoist, a feminist and a Socialist walk into a bar...

An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar.
The bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, "You guys would be great presidential candidates." They took him seriously...

...apparently America did too.

Politics joke, An egoist, a feminist and a Socialist walk into a bar...

The problem with politics today...

Republicans treat people like dogs
and
Democrats treat dogs like people

I asked this girl to talk dirty to me in PM..

Now we are discussing politics and religion.

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.


A bigot redneck and a psychopathic grandma get into an arguement

Someone filmed it and decided to call it politics

Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.

When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?

Trump is too politically incorrect, Hillary is too politically correct

Yet they're both incorrect for politics

How Politics Really Works

I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."

He said, "No."

I told him, "She is Bill Gates daughter."


He said, "Yes."


I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."

Bill Gates said, "No."

I told Bill Gates, "My son is the C.E.O. of World Bank."

Bill Gates said, "Okay."

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the C.E.O.

He said, "No."

I told him, "My son is Bill Gates son-in-law."

He said, "Okay.

This is exactly how politics works.

[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky

The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

What's the difference between sports and politics?

In sports, it is the winners that march down the street (parade).

This really crashes my belief system.

Hilary Clinton spent 40 years building up her career to lose presidency to a man who picked up politics as a hobby last year.

[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites,

then politics must mean...

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

Tip: if you don't want comedians weighing in on politics....

...don't elect a joke.

(Credit to Bo Burnham)

Trump & Trudeau

Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau were we discussing politics when Donald leans in close and says:

Donald: You know Justin, if the US were a Dictatorship I would be a Dictator.

Justin: Yea, I suppose so Donald.

Donald: And you know if the US were a Monarchy I would be a Monarch.

Justin: That's also true Don, but I hate to break it to you, the US is a Country.

Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville Dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.

No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

Serj Tankian should enter politics.

The secret service would be renamed "The Serj Protectors"

What do you get when you combine tragedy and comedy?

American politics.

American politics is like sand

It's coarse and gets everywhere.

Politics is like driving

No matter which lane you're in, anyone moving faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower is a moron.

Sex is like politics.

I don't understand it, but I pretend to.

Politics is self describing

The word politics comes from poli- meaning many,

and -tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

What's the difference between today's politics and a bad joke?

Hard to find the difference, isn't it?

The etymology of the word "politics" is surprisingly accurate.

"poly" meaning "many", and tics meaning "small bloodsucking parasites."

I just compiled my new app, its named "Politics".

It's corrupted.

Whats the difference between the government and corporations

One controls politics, the other is the government

The Chinese pharmacist

A man sends his wife to pick up his erectile dysfunction medication.

She gets back and they get undressed and get down to business.

The wife stops and says our new pharmacist is a very nice Chinese man but talks too much politics but don't worry, I made sure your pills aren't made in Russia

Why would it matter if the Russians made my pills said the husband.

The wife responded well the pharmacist told me Russia was meddling in U.S erections

The more of an expert you are at something, the more trustworthy you are in regards to it.

Unless it's politics.

Politics is like window cleaning...

...the dirt is always on the other side!

Hillary Clinton coronavirus joke

He did promise 'America First'

Politics and religion is like a d-ck

you shouldn't force it down anyone's throat especially your children.

American politics is like a penguin.

It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.

What's the difference between School and Politics?

School is actually useful.

Define: Politics

(poli) many (tics) blood-sucking insects

Doctor, when is the coronavirus pandemic going to end?

I don't know, I'm not that into politics.

I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic

He said I don't know. I'm not really into politics.

Explaining Words



Poli.....Latin for "many"

Tics....blood sucking insects



Politics

Two Chinese guys are sitting somewhere in Hongkong, discussing about their country's politics.

yeah that's actually the joke

Why are so many feminists on the left side of politics?

Because women don't have rights.

This year, I'm going to save money on Christmas gifts

by bringing up politics during Thanksgiving dinner.

US politics is a lot like square dancing.

Move to the right, take one step back, move to the left, take one step forward. Repeat.

What would have happened had it been Khrushchev instead of Kennedy that was assassinated?

Dunno about politics, but I'm really sure Onassis would not have married the widow.

Why are liberal politics so confusing?

In liberal politics, left is right and right is wrong

Joke that has recently become popular in Russia in light of recent protests

- Dad, which concentration camp are we going to?
- Dunno, son, I'm not interested in politics.

I was an accountant

I was an accountant from age 22 to 35, when because of office politics, I was sacked for no reason.

What a waste of 15 years.

To Non-USA Redditor's

You all thought trying to enjoy Reddit without enduring US politics was hard?

Welcome to 2021 where we introduce you to our stock market!

Two Russians meet in a prison cell...

"How long?" the first one asks.

"Fifteen years. You?"

"Ten, for politics. What're you in for?"

"For nothing."

"Liar! For nothing, you get five years!"

TIL: Where does the word "politics" come from.

From poly, Greek for many, and tics, English for pesky parasites.

Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English

It's made up of two other parts.

1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - Ticks - blood sucking insects.

Now that Matthew McConaughey might be running for governor of Texas people are wondering what his politics are...

I think it's obvious he's a member of the Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right

A frustrated student handed in his exam.

"I've been writing for two hours, yet i haven't answered a single question!" he complained.

"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher.

(Politics) Why would it be unsafe to board a plane with Ben Shapiro?

He'd destroy the Left Wing.

How do you keep Texans and their politics in Texas?

Place a "Welcome to California" sign on every road leading out of Texas. They'll turn right around.

*Edit*: Hey, hey, hey. If you don't like the joke, downvote ME. Leave my commenters alone!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the politics young politics jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working politics local politics piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes