Political Correctness Jokes
128 political correctness jokes and hilarious political correctness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about political correctness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Political Correctness Short Jokes
Short political correctness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The political correctness humour may include short politically correct jokes also.
- I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall - Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
- Someone called me racist for saying "black paint" Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
- Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct, The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
- People today are so politically correct. You can't even say black paint, You have to say "Leeroy, please paint my fence."
- I hate how politically correct the world is today Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"
- Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.
- Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say "black paint." Instead you have to say "Jamaal please paint my fence."
- With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can't even say Black Paint! You have to say, Leroy, please paint my fence!
- The world is so politically correct these days. You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"
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Political Correctness One Liners
Which political correctness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with political correctness? I can suggest the ones about not politically correct and politically incorrect.
- Why isn't Medusa politically correct? She is always objectifying people
- Why did the politically correct soccer team never win any matches? Because no offense.
- How do you define political correctness? Carefully.
- What do you call a politically correct large expensive house? A Persion.
- Did you hear about the COW that got a promotion? She was out standing in her field.
- Merry Christmas! If that's politically correct.
- Political Incorrectness It's Political Correctness gone mad
- What's the politically correct term for a swingers party in Alabama? A lynching.
- I'm trying to get in shape and be more politically correct. I rehydrate with LGBTQtorade
- I'm confused on the politically correct term for Caitlyn ... Transjenner...?
- Political correctness is just respecting people. Sorry, I meant "people of respect."
- How to be politically correct on black Friday? Call it African American Friday instead
- Telephone bills are never politically correct. They're all straight white mail.
- Did you know that the term LGBTQ is not politically correct? It excludes straight people.
- What is the politically correct term for a Natzi ? alt-right.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Political Correctness Jokes
What funny jokes about political correctness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean correctness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make political correctness pranks.
David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
I hate how politically correct things are these days. You can't even say the word s**... without people getting offended.
I started to tell a Polish joke to a group of guys and one of them said "Hey, I'm Polish and that joke offends me!" Fair enough I thought, no one likes to be stereotyped. So I swapped out the word "Polish" for "s**..." and started the joke over. Same guy got offended.
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many g**... does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.
A Parrot with an attitude
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
I hate political correctness nowadays...
I can't even say "Black paint."
I have to say "Tyrone, could you please paint the walls for me."
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
I hate how politically correct the world is becoming...
No longer am I allowed to say "black paint." Now I have to say "Tyrone can you please paint."
Everyone's so politically correct these days.
You can't even say "black paint" anymore. You have to say "Tyrone, would you kindly paint my fence?"
I'm sick of people saying, "Its political correctness gone mad!"
That's offensive. You should say "Its political correctness gone mentally ill".
English Weather
I just read something about weather in England:
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._
In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as _'Muslim Weather'_ -- partly Sunni, but mostly s**...'ite.
My neighborhood is so politically correct...
...they consider it a hate crime to misspell vinegar.
Saying s**... isn't very politically correct
I now say laughrican americans.
Black paint
Political correctness has gone to far these days. You cant even say black paint any more, you have to say "Tyrone, please will you paint my house?"
What do you call a politically correct boat?
A censorship
The world has become so politically correct these days...
...that you can't say black paint anymore...
You have to say "Tyrone, please paint my fence."
PC problem
Political correctness has become so oppressive. I can't even say "Black paint" anymore, I have to say "Jamal would you please paint that fence?"
What is the political correct term for hipster?
conjoined twins.
Being politically correct s**.... I can't even say "black paint" anymore.
Now I have to say, "hey Jamal would you please go paint that fence over there?"
Apparently I can't say black paint anymore because it's racist.
I have to say "Jerome please paint the fence" to be politically correct.. -_-
Political correctness gone mad.
I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son.
Apparently it's my "daughter."
A friend of mine is so politically correct....
At the deli he is afraid to ask for " white American " cheese.
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
Political correctness...
Is for faggots.
I just bought the politically correct edition of Doctor Who.
What's the deal with all these Cyberpersons I keep hearing about?
I cant stand this politically correct society much longer. I can't even order coffee anymore.
I used to go to the store and just say "I'll take my coffee black." Now I have to say "I'll take my coffee jeniqua."
It may not be "politically correct" to say this...
...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
During his speech after the Orlando shooting, Donald Trump refuses to be politically correct...
And just to be safe, he refuses to be correct.
Political Correctness has gone mad...
You can't even say "Black paint" anymore, you have to say "Jamal would you please kindly help me paint my fence."
I would talk about Keemstar
but I don't think autism jokes are politically correct anymore
How are you supposed to be politically correct...
How are you supposed to be politically correct and still have a gender reveal party?
The world is becoming too politically correct
You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".
Trump is too politically incorrect, Hillary is too politically correct
Yet they're both incorrect for politics
Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity
For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say "please paint that wall, Jose"
I hate how politically correct we have become as a society ...
You can't even say black paint anymore. Now you have to say, "Jamal kindly paint my house?"
Its such a shame todays world is so politically correct, you cant even say Black Paint anymore,
Instead you have to say "Leeroy please paint the porch"
Political Correctness is out of hand
You can't even say "black paint" anymore,
You have to say "Tyrone, please paint my fence."
Apparently, a group of cockroaches is called an intrusion.
I guess that's the politically correct way of referring to the Republicans.
In the political correctness of 2017, is it still ok to call my wife the "ol ball and chain"?
Or is that rude to the ball and chain?
I hate political correctness. You can't even say "black paint" anymore.
Instead you have to say "Leroy, would you please paint the fence?"
Things have become so politically correct, I can't even fat shame myself without looking over my shoulder.
Which i cant.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a "politically correct" millennial that shames 6 for his "even-number privilege".
I won first place in a political correctness competition the weekend...
Though to be fair, so did everyone else.
Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture
Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.
No Longer PC
It's no longer Politically Correct to call someone a "tweaker".
You now call them "Methican American".
The World's Most Politically Correct Joke
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE
A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a m**..., a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.
Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.
Why aren't there any Politically Correct Track and Field athletes
They don't see race
I hate all the political correctness these days, I can't even say "black paint" anymore.
Now I have to say "Tyrone please paint the fence."
Politically Correct Politicians
Because of its negative connotation, Waterboarding shall now be called: 'Forced Hydration.'
Political correctness has gone way too far. You can't even say black paint anymore.
You have to say, "Hey Leroy, please paint this fence for me."
I tried to be politically correct for the holidays this year
but "Caucasian Christmas" proved considerably harder to sing than I expected...
TIL that it's not politically correct to say someone is gay...
The preferred term is "Navy enlisted personnel."
It's safe to say political correctness has gone mad.
Political Correctness
I know political correctness is a huge thing nowadays, but is it ok to say the word "Retarred" if I'm having my driveway paved over again?
Today things are so politically correct you can't even say firecracker...
...You have to say, Bill you're fired.
The "politically correct" culture has ruined the modern vernacular.
The other day, I asked a girl of she wanted to go back to my place and have gender.
The world has just gotten way too politically correct
You can't even say something as completely innocent as "black paint", for example. Now you have to say something like, "Tyrone, please paint my fence."
Everything has to be politically correct nowadays..
Back in the day you could say black paint, nowadays you have to say 'Jerome, please paint the fence.'
Political correctness has gotten so restrictive these days. Now I can't even say, "Black paint."
I have to say, "Please paint that wall, Tyrone."
Why are there no politically correct superheroes?
Because they don't want to assume the villain's agenda.
Calling someone "short" is racist and discriminatory
The politically correct term is "fun-sized"
Politically correct 21st century equality the game.
White, heterosexual, cisgender people not included in this product.
I saw a sign advertising a plowsharing market the other day.
I don't know if that's a more or less politically correct way of talking about a s**... party...
What's the politically correct way to introduce your midget buddy?
Say hello to my little friend.
It may not be politically correct, but I wouldn't ever date someone who was born with deformed feet.
You could say I'm lack-toes intolerant.
