The Best 28 Polishing Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Polishing jokes. There are some polishing prospector jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these polishing establishment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Polishing Jokes and Puns

Was walking home the other night and noticed a black guy carrying a TV. Looked just like mine...

So, in fear it had been stolen, I ran home to check. To my relief, mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

Polishing my shoes

I was walking downtown when I saw a black man carrying a tv set, and it looked just like mine. So I ran back home and to my relief mine was still there polishing my shoes.

I was out when I saw a bIack man running with a TV.

"That looks like mine" I thought, so I went home and checked but no, mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

Polishing joke, I was out when I saw a bIack man running with a TV.

How to get rich

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Probably offensive

My friend and I were walking down the street the other day when we saw a young black man running past with a TV. "That looked just like mine!" I exclaimed. We immediately rushed home to check but everything was fine, mine was still polishing my shoes.


I was walking down the street when I saw a black man carrying a tv...

I could've swore it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at the house polishing my shoes.

I'm not racist but

I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".

But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.

Polishing joke, I'm not racist but

What do you call a guy from Poland masturbating

a Polish Pole Polishing

A close call.

Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

As I was driving I saw a black man running with a TV

I thought to myself ," that's mine." Then I remembered mine is at my house polishing my shoes.

Favourite of all time

I saw a big black guy running down the street carrying a TV the other day and I thought to myself, "That looks a lot like mine..."

But then I remembered mine was at home, polishing my shoes.

You can explore polishing polish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean polishing ncaa dad jokes. There are also polishing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So I saw a black man running with a TV.

Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes.

One day David Duke was walking home from the supermarket...

He saw a black man running down the street with a TV and immediately became nervous.

"Wait, is that mine? I can never tell the difference between those damned things", he said to himself.

He quickly rushed home,
and breathed a sigh of relief.

His was still there; polishing his shoes.

As I was approaching my driveway, I saw a big black man running away with a TV in his hands and I wondered if it was mine.

Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.

I have an obsession with polishing minerals!

I hope that('s) crystal('s) clear

The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."

Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

Polishing joke, The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

I work in a mirror factory

I broke a polishing machine a few days ago and my boss told me to reflect on what I've done.

I told him I couldn't because the mirrors were too blurry but I'll polish on my actions

Left my wife polishing my chainmail while I went to the pub

She said she wanted a night in, shining armour

I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"

She said, "but I don't wear glasses."

I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."


I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub.

She's always going on about wanting a night in, shining armour.

They say pressure makes diamonds.

But taking what annoys you, wrapping it up in gunk, polishing it until it looks pretty and then ignoring it makes pearls.

A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful women reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." POOF! He's back in his government office.

A moderator from Poland walks into a chatroom of people arguing.

"This place is gonna need some *polishing*."

The evening after they were married, Harry set Meghan to work, polishing his set of Royal plate mail.

Well, she did say she always wanted a night in, shining armour.

Princess Meghan's dream came true, she spent an entire evening polishing Harry's suit of plate mail...

She finally got her night in, shining armour.

When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail...

Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"

Young David asked his wealthy grandfather, Sol, how he had made his money.

Sol said, "Well, David, it was 1955, and I was down to my last five cents. I went to the local market and invested that five cents in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested the ten cents in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them at the end of the day for twenty cents. I continued this system for a month. Then Bubbie died and left us five million dollars."

The court jester decided to play a prank

So he got a bucket of coal dust from the blacksmith and rigged it over a doorway.

Soon enough Sir Lancelot walks up in his shiniest silver armor. He'd spent the entire morning polishing it to a mirror finish. As soon as he walks through the doorway, a trip wire dumps the bucket of coal dust over him turning his polished armor a dingy black. Needless to say he was storming mad, covered in filthy black dust.

It was a dark and stormy knight.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the polishing doug jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working polishing restroom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes